Anonymous
07/23/2019 18:33
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It is a great trip idea and if you start thinking of "it's so hard with a small one" when are you ever going to do anything? People travel all the time with babies, and for vacations too!
She'll travel when the baby is 3 or 4. Not sure why this is hard to grasp?
Because that means her first child won’t travel until he’s like 9. So many missed opportunities.
yes, it's child abuse not to take a kid on long trips between the ages of 5-7. OP's child is still a young infant on a 2-nap schedule. Nobody is going to be scarred by staying home for one summer. Older child can learn the world doesn't revolve around him.
Hoolleee sh*t I am glad I didn't have a mother like you. The rigidity coupled with basically writing off the eldest as well as the husband is astounding. Ground the whole family for years because of your own neuroses, inability to compromise, and total inflexibility? Yikes.
Anonymous
07/23/2019 18:32
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Anonymous wrote:Are your kids in a day care OP? I ask because other than the travel time, this is nothing more than spending time with your kids. Any sahm would think nothing of this, apart from the fact that you have dh to take care of your older kid and go out with him, and it is actually easier on you. You sound like you are scared of taking care of your own kids.
Oh, throwing a little shade at working moms on top of everything else, are we? That's so sweet!
Travel with a baby is a LOT more work than staying at home, everyone knows that. Especially as a working mom, when you don't have infinite time to pack and plan, and when you know you need to go right back to work when you get home. One reason I didn't want to travel when I had an infant and worked is that I wanted to have relaxed downtime at home with my baby, not stress myself out with even more complications.
Anonymous
07/23/2019 18:29
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Team OP. She sounds exhausted, with a difficult baby and likely a no-help DH.
If she goes, she'll likely be stuck in some dingy dark guest house while everyone else goes out boating all day, and then have the fun of defending herself for being the "unfun" mom because she didn't agree to taking her napless 1 year old out on a boat for 6 hours.
So her choice will be, either be forced to take a miserable baby out on outings (where she inevitably will be the one trying to soothe and apologize for crying baby, and then deal with the cranky mess when they get home), or stay back and do nothing.
Someone once posted a link here to a story by Fay Weldon called the Weekend. OP should read it and let us know if it resonates
Personally, I basically refused to travel under similar dynamics until my kid was 3. I'm not a mean mom, I'm not a boring mom, and I'm not a bad person. I just knew that long trips would be extremely miserable. Now that he's 7 I love to travel with him. It was just a short period where I stuck closer to home.
Oh sweetie, you are definitely the mean and boring mom who is also a martyr, apparently. You've made a ton of assumptions about OP revolving around the fact that her DH is a bad father when you have no idea what their situation is. If OP gets stuck in a dingy dark guest house while everyone else goes out and has fun then that is of her own volition. Millions of people manage to travel and ::gasp:: have fun when their children are under 3. You don't think the entire world before you stopped when everyone had toddlers, do you?
I'm perfectly fine with you thinking I'm the mean and boring mom - you wouldn't know anything about my DH's uselessness, and it wouldn't be my place to tell you. People like you are exactly the reason why I avoided situations like this when I was in that super stressed-out period - because I knew I'd be dealing with your b*tchy judgement on top of everything else! And sheesh, talk about thinking the world revolves around you, just because I don't want to schlep out to some vacation home ...
And you don't know anything about OPs DH but we sure as heck can see you projected your own useless DH attributes to him
Well, everyone else was fine with projecting their own stereotypes about martyr, uptight moms on OP, so it seemed appropriate.
Yes because of what she shared about herself. If the shoe fits.
Well, thanks for confirming in my mind that OP should not go. Because I can guarantee her that if she's surrounded by people like you, you won't stop at berating her that she's self-centered not to want to go. No, she will be berated for not taking the 6 hour boat ride, for "insisting" that the baby get 2 naps, for trying to put the baby to bed at 7:30, for not wanting to stay out in the sun all day with the baby ... it will be all about how she's the mean mom who is too rigid or protective of the baby. If only she were less uptight, then her baby would nap anywhere and could go to bed at 10pm! So she may as well stay home.
Aaaand now you're throwing a tantrum to prove your point? "I do everything, everyone picks on me, I guess I'll just stay home!" Sounds like you and OP are two peas in a pod and both high-maintenance drama queens. Your poor kids (and DH).
and you sound like a nasty queen bee who can't stand that not everyone likes to do exactly what you do.
Anonymous
07/23/2019 18:28
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Are your kids in a day care OP? I ask because other than the travel time, this is nothing more than spending time with your kids. Any sahm would think nothing of this, apart from the fact that you have dh to take care of your older kid and go out with him, and it is actually easier on you. You sound like you are scared of taking care of your own kids.
Anonymous
07/23/2019 18:24
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Team OP. She sounds exhausted, with a difficult baby and likely a no-help DH.
If she goes, she'll likely be stuck in some dingy dark guest house while everyone else goes out boating all day, and then have the fun of defending herself for being the "unfun" mom because she didn't agree to taking her napless 1 year old out on a boat for 6 hours.
So her choice will be, either be forced to take a miserable baby out on outings (where she inevitably will be the one trying to soothe and apologize for crying baby, and then deal with the cranky mess when they get home), or stay back and do nothing.
Someone once posted a link here to a story by Fay Weldon called the Weekend. OP should read it and let us know if it resonates
Personally, I basically refused to travel under similar dynamics until my kid was 3. I'm not a mean mom, I'm not a boring mom, and I'm not a bad person. I just knew that long trips would be extremely miserable. Now that he's 7 I love to travel with him. It was just a short period where I stuck closer to home.
Oh sweetie, you are definitely the mean and boring mom who is also a martyr, apparently. You've made a ton of assumptions about OP revolving around the fact that her DH is a bad father when you have no idea what their situation is. If OP gets stuck in a dingy dark guest house while everyone else goes out and has fun then that is of her own volition. Millions of people manage to travel and ::gasp:: have fun when their children are under 3. You don't think the entire world before you stopped when everyone had toddlers, do you?
I'm perfectly fine with you thinking I'm the mean and boring mom - you wouldn't know anything about my DH's uselessness, and it wouldn't be my place to tell you. People like you are exactly the reason why I avoided situations like this when I was in that super stressed-out period - because I knew I'd be dealing with your b*tchy judgement on top of everything else! And sheesh, talk about thinking the world revolves around you, just because I don't want to schlep out to some vacation home ...
And you don't know anything about OPs DH but we sure as heck can see you projected your own useless DH attributes to him
Well, everyone else was fine with projecting their own stereotypes about martyr, uptight moms on OP, so it seemed appropriate.
Yes because of what she shared about herself. If the shoe fits.
Well, thanks for confirming in my mind that OP should not go. Because I can guarantee her that if she's surrounded by people like you, you won't stop at berating her that she's self-centered not to want to go. No, she will be berated for not taking the 6 hour boat ride, for "insisting" that the baby get 2 naps, for trying to put the baby to bed at 7:30, for not wanting to stay out in the sun all day with the baby ... it will be all about how she's the mean mom who is too rigid or protective of the baby. If only she were less uptight, then her baby would nap anywhere and could go to bed at 10pm! So she may as well stay home.
Aaaand now you're throwing a tantrum to prove your point? "I do everything, everyone picks on me, I guess I'll just stay home!" Sounds like you and OP are two peas in a pod and both high-maintenance drama queens. Your poor kids (and DH).
Anonymous
07/23/2019 18:21
Subject: Re:DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Lol to the PP. literally everyone here said to chill with the baby at the house or trade off. Stop trying to make it sound like we all want a one year old to go scuba diving or something. She can meet the needs of the one year old while on vacation is all that I see being said. Chill the f out. You sound like you need a vacation.
Anonymous
07/23/2019 18:06
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Team OP. She sounds exhausted, with a difficult baby and likely a no-help DH.
If she goes, she'll likely be stuck in some dingy dark guest house while everyone else goes out boating all day, and then have the fun of defending herself for being the "unfun" mom because she didn't agree to taking her napless 1 year old out on a boat for 6 hours.
So her choice will be, either be forced to take a miserable baby out on outings (where she inevitably will be the one trying to soothe and apologize for crying baby, and then deal with the cranky mess when they get home), or stay back and do nothing.
Someone once posted a link here to a story by Fay Weldon called the Weekend. OP should read it and let us know if it resonates
Personally, I basically refused to travel under similar dynamics until my kid was 3. I'm not a mean mom, I'm not a boring mom, and I'm not a bad person. I just knew that long trips would be extremely miserable. Now that he's 7 I love to travel with him. It was just a short period where I stuck closer to home.
Oh sweetie, you are definitely the mean and boring mom who is also a martyr, apparently. You've made a ton of assumptions about OP revolving around the fact that her DH is a bad father when you have no idea what their situation is. If OP gets stuck in a dingy dark guest house while everyone else goes out and has fun then that is of her own volition. Millions of people manage to travel and ::gasp:: have fun when their children are under 3. You don't think the entire world before you stopped when everyone had toddlers, do you?
I'm perfectly fine with you thinking I'm the mean and boring mom - you wouldn't know anything about my DH's uselessness, and it wouldn't be my place to tell you. People like you are exactly the reason why I avoided situations like this when I was in that super stressed-out period - because I knew I'd be dealing with your b*tchy judgement on top of everything else! And sheesh, talk about thinking the world revolves around you, just because I don't want to schlep out to some vacation home ...
And you don't know anything about OPs DH but we sure as heck can see you projected your own useless DH attributes to him
Well, everyone else was fine with projecting their own stereotypes about martyr, uptight moms on OP, so it seemed appropriate.
Yes because of what she shared about herself. If the shoe fits.
Well, thanks for confirming in my mind that OP should not go. Because I can guarantee her that if she's surrounded by people like you, you won't stop at berating her that she's self-centered not to want to go. No, she will be berated for not taking the 6 hour boat ride, for "insisting" that the baby get 2 naps, for trying to put the baby to bed at 7:30, for not wanting to stay out in the sun all day with the baby ... it will be all about how she's the mean mom who is too rigid or protective of the baby. If only she were less uptight, then her baby would nap anywhere and could go to bed at 10pm! So she may as well stay home.
Anonymous
07/23/2019 18:03
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Team OP. She sounds exhausted, with a difficult baby and likely a no-help DH.
If she goes, she'll likely be stuck in some dingy dark guest house while everyone else goes out boating all day, and then have the fun of defending herself for being the "unfun" mom because she didn't agree to taking her napless 1 year old out on a boat for 6 hours.
So her choice will be, either be forced to take a miserable baby out on outings (where she inevitably will be the one trying to soothe and apologize for crying baby, and then deal with the cranky mess when they get home), or stay back and do nothing.
Someone once posted a link here to a story by Fay Weldon called the Weekend. OP should read it and let us know if it resonates
Personally, I basically refused to travel under similar dynamics until my kid was 3. I'm not a mean mom, I'm not a boring mom, and I'm not a bad person. I just knew that long trips would be extremely miserable. Now that he's 7 I love to travel with him. It was just a short period where I stuck closer to home.
Oh sweetie, you are definitely the mean and boring mom who is also a martyr, apparently. You've made a ton of assumptions about OP revolving around the fact that her DH is a bad father when you have no idea what their situation is. If OP gets stuck in a dingy dark guest house while everyone else goes out and has fun then that is of her own volition. Millions of people manage to travel and ::gasp:: have fun when their children are under 3. You don't think the entire world before you stopped when everyone had toddlers, do you?
I'm perfectly fine with you thinking I'm the mean and boring mom - you wouldn't know anything about my DH's uselessness, and it wouldn't be my place to tell you. People like you are exactly the reason why I avoided situations like this when I was in that super stressed-out period - because I knew I'd be dealing with your b*tchy judgement on top of everything else! And sheesh, talk about thinking the world revolves around you, just because I don't want to schlep out to some vacation home ...
And you don't know anything about OPs DH but we sure as heck can see you projected your own useless DH attributes to him
Well, everyone else was fine with projecting their own stereotypes about martyr, uptight moms on OP, so it seemed appropriate.
Yes because of what she shared about herself. If the shoe fits.
Anonymous
07/23/2019 18:02
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It is a great trip idea and if you start thinking of "it's so hard with a small one" when are you ever going to do anything? People travel all the time with babies, and for vacations too!
She'll travel when the baby is 3 or 4. Not sure why this is hard to grasp?
Because that means her first child won’t travel until he’s like 9. So many missed opportunities.
Nope, it revolves around OP obviously
OP is the one bearing the brunt of caring for a difficult infant, so yeah, it's totally fine that the world revolve around her for a minute.
Anonymous
07/23/2019 18:01
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It is a great trip idea and if you start thinking of "it's so hard with a small one" when are you ever going to do anything? People travel all the time with babies, and for vacations too!
She'll travel when the baby is 3 or 4. Not sure why this is hard to grasp?
Because that means her first child won’t travel until he’s like 9. So many missed opportunities.
Nope, it revolves around OP obviously
Anonymous
07/23/2019 18:01
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Team OP. She sounds exhausted, with a difficult baby and likely a no-help DH.
If she goes, she'll likely be stuck in some dingy dark guest house while everyone else goes out boating all day, and then have the fun of defending herself for being the "unfun" mom because she didn't agree to taking her napless 1 year old out on a boat for 6 hours.
So her choice will be, either be forced to take a miserable baby out on outings (where she inevitably will be the one trying to soothe and apologize for crying baby, and then deal with the cranky mess when they get home), or stay back and do nothing.
Someone once posted a link here to a story by Fay Weldon called the Weekend. OP should read it and let us know if it resonates
Personally, I basically refused to travel under similar dynamics until my kid was 3. I'm not a mean mom, I'm not a boring mom, and I'm not a bad person. I just knew that long trips would be extremely miserable. Now that he's 7 I love to travel with him. It was just a short period where I stuck closer to home.
Oh sweetie, you are definitely the mean and boring mom who is also a martyr, apparently. You've made a ton of assumptions about OP revolving around the fact that her DH is a bad father when you have no idea what their situation is. If OP gets stuck in a dingy dark guest house while everyone else goes out and has fun then that is of her own volition. Millions of people manage to travel and ::gasp:: have fun when their children are under 3. You don't think the entire world before you stopped when everyone had toddlers, do you?
I'm perfectly fine with you thinking I'm the mean and boring mom - you wouldn't know anything about my DH's uselessness, and it wouldn't be my place to tell you. People like you are exactly the reason why I avoided situations like this when I was in that super stressed-out period - because I knew I'd be dealing with your b*tchy judgement on top of everything else! And sheesh, talk about thinking the world revolves around you, just because I don't want to schlep out to some vacation home ...
And you don't know anything about OPs DH but we sure as heck can see you projected your own useless DH attributes to him
Well, everyone else was fine with projecting their own stereotypes about martyr, uptight moms on OP, so it seemed appropriate.
Anonymous
07/23/2019 18:00
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Team OP. She sounds exhausted, with a difficult baby and likely a no-help DH.
If she goes, she'll likely be stuck in some dingy dark guest house while everyone else goes out boating all day, and then have the fun of defending herself for being the "unfun" mom because she didn't agree to taking her napless 1 year old out on a boat for 6 hours.
So her choice will be, either be forced to take a miserable baby out on outings (where she inevitably will be the one trying to soothe and apologize for crying baby, and then deal with the cranky mess when they get home), or stay back and do nothing.
Someone once posted a link here to a story by Fay Weldon called the Weekend. OP should read it and let us know if it resonates
Personally, I basically refused to travel under similar dynamics until my kid was 3. I'm not a mean mom, I'm not a boring mom, and I'm not a bad person. I just knew that long trips would be extremely miserable. Now that he's 7 I love to travel with him. It was just a short period where I stuck closer to home.
Oh sweetie, you are definitely the mean and boring mom who is also a martyr, apparently. You've made a ton of assumptions about OP revolving around the fact that her DH is a bad father when you have no idea what their situation is. If OP gets stuck in a dingy dark guest house while everyone else goes out and has fun then that is of her own volition. Millions of people manage to travel and ::gasp:: have fun when their children are under 3. You don't think the entire world before you stopped when everyone had toddlers, do you?
I'm perfectly fine with you thinking I'm the mean and boring mom - you wouldn't know anything about my DH's uselessness, and it wouldn't be my place to tell you. People like you are exactly the reason why I avoided situations like this when I was in that super stressed-out period - because I knew I'd be dealing with your b*tchy judgement on top of everything else! And sheesh, talk about thinking the world revolves around you, just because I don't want to schlep out to some vacation home ...
And you don't know anything about OPs DH but we sure as heck can see you projected your own useless DH attributes to him
Anonymous
07/23/2019 18:00
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Anonymous wrote:Op, I agree with everyone that you should go. The one thing I would do is talk to your friends about the hours-long boat trips. They're your friends, so they'll be helpful and cool. Tell them you're not sure how the baby will do, but you also don't want to stay at the house alone all day every day, so would it be possible to come back after a bit to drop you off.
We've taken my son on lake vacations every summer since he was an infant. It is totally doable.
eh, I don't take my infant out on randos boats anyway, and neither should OP.
Anonymous
07/23/2019 17:58
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It is a great trip idea and if you start thinking of "it's so hard with a small one" when are you ever going to do anything? People travel all the time with babies, and for vacations too!
She'll travel when the baby is 3 or 4. Not sure why this is hard to grasp?
Because that means her first child won’t travel until he’s like 9. So many missed opportunities.
yes, it's child abuse not to take a kid on long trips between the ages of 5-7. OP's child is still a young infant on a 2-nap schedule. Nobody is going to be scarred by staying home for one summer. Older child can learn the world doesn't revolve around him.
Anonymous
07/23/2019 17:58
Subject: DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It is a great trip idea and if you start thinking of "it's so hard with a small one" when are you ever going to do anything? People travel all the time with babies, and for vacations too!
She'll travel when the baby is 3 or 4. Not sure why this is hard to grasp?
Oh yay for her oldest. She gets a vacation when she is 8. But what if mom has another baby? No vacation til 12? JFC people. It is a baby not an exotic rare animal allergic to sun and light.