Movie nights
A nature table in the backroom for all of their "treasures" from walks
Music - we have a morning soundtrack
Baking -tons of it. The kitchen is our favorite place to hang out

Anonymous wrote:I love this topic! It's really got me thinking about what makes a house a home. I'm an only child who went away to boarding school at 7 years old, so I have so many fond memories of that 'home' feeling when I got back from school. Here's my list:

- smell of cooking and furniture polish.
- helping my mom to clean and examining all the family's ornaments/souvenirs and listening to stories of how/when they acquired them.
- having comfy (if unattractive) furniture when I could snuggle with mom and dad.
- having a bedroom that I could decorate exactly as I pleased.
- pictures of the family.
- decorating for the holidays. I chose the decorations and they were so ugly. But sentimental for me! Also holiday traditions.
- having parents who thought I was the best thing in the world. Surrounded by love.

I think moving houses frequently and being at boarding school has given the capability of 'making home' quite easily. But reading these responses has made me realize I need to lighten up a bit on the kid clutter to make my kids feel like the space is theirs as well.

Boarding school at 7? So how much time did you actually spend at home?

Books, in every room. Good smells coming from the kitchen. Furniture you can sit on without worrying about messing something up. Their own space, however small, for every person who lives here. A warm welcome, with an offer of a seat, a drink, a snack, a meal, to any kid or adult who walks through the door.

I love this topic! It's really got me thinking about what makes a house a home. I'm an only child who went away to boarding school at 7 years old, so I have so many fond memories of that 'home' feeling when I got back from school. Here's my list:

- smell of cooking and furniture polish.
- helping my mom to clean and examining all the family's ornaments/souvenirs and listening to stories of how/when they acquired them.
- having comfy (if unattractive) furniture when I could snuggle with mom and dad.
- having a bedroom that I could decorate exactly as I pleased.
- pictures of the family.
- decorating for the holidays. I chose the decorations and they were so ugly. But sentimental for me! Also holiday traditions.
- having parents who thought I was the best thing in the world. Surrounded by love.

I think moving houses frequently and being at boarding school has given the capability of 'making home' quite easily. But reading these responses has made me realize I need to lighten up a bit on the kid clutter to make my kids feel like the space is theirs as well.

Treat your children with respect, listen to them, feed them well (no McD, KFC or any of those), appreciate their efforts, be patient, cook with them, talk WITH them.

15:27 PP, a lot of can lights are the absolute wrong color / temperature; people just don't know how to choose nice lighting these days (and more good options are available than ever!). The rest of the house sounds unsettling to me too!

I think my mother in law’s house is very unwelcoming and this thread is helping me pinpoint why. This is also totally separate from her as a person, she is really very nice:

1. Lots of bright overhead lighting. She had can lights installed every few feet and the effect is overwhelming. It gives a very clinical feel.

2. The house has large rooms and not much furniture. It feels incomplete. She does not even inhabit 1/3 of the rooms.

3. Lots of red and black decor. I find it subtly unsettling.

4. A grand piano that never gets played, even at Christmas parties.

5. All of her food is from a can or microwaved, even when we bring the grandkids over. Not a lot of snacks. Maybe it’s a habit from living alone, but it doesn’t feel homey.

6. The only place to gather for movies is the basement, which is not totally finished and the couch is at a 90 degree angle to the TV. I have no idea why when there is so much finished space elsewhere in the house,

A lot of things being mentioned sound like Hygge. For me I associate the homey feeling with piano music since my mom is a professional musician and is always playing. Also really good food, sometimes veggies from the garden. These are my parents’ hobbies though, and I don’t have a piano or garden do I will have to find my own ways to create the homey vibe in my house.

- They have a parent or grandma at home when they walk in.
- They have a snack ready when they come home.
- We cook a lot and we are always feeding everyone - friends, family and neighbors, so they have many options for hot meals.
- We watch TV together, huddled in blankets in our family room.
- My house is lit everywhere as soon as it gets dark because we have most of our lamps on timers. I hate a dark house or room. - - We have some normal clutter, but the house is cleaned up every day, beds are made, clothes are laundered, folded and put in dressers every day.
- DH and I, both are very involved with our children and both can cook.
- DH and I have a great relationship and we are very loving. Kids know that their parents are solid
- No addiction, abuse, personality disorders, adultery in our house. Yes, we have seen what happens if that dynamic is present in your family.
- All of us have our own hobbies and interests and we pursue it
- My kids and DH are high achievers but that is the work day...they recharge at home and they have the freedom to do what they want, while still being a part of the family.
- We kiss and hug a lot. Kids are our first priority. We have a large social network of family and friends.
- We have certain holidays fixed with the family.
- We love to eat out so we are always going out to eat for all kinds of things with our extended family and we make very solemn toasts with a straight face - straight A's, graduation, birthdays, got driver's license, did not get totally creamed at a tennis match, went on a date etc...

They have their own house keys and know all the codes, but 99% of the time, one of us is here when they walk in the door.

Anonymous wrote:This thread has stuck with me and I keep thinking about it. I think a lot of the advice on cozy and welcoming decor is important, as are traditions. That said, the more I think about it, the biggest thing is that your home feels safe. The only way to get this is to be emotionally available and present for your kids.

+1 This is one of those posts I have also thought about after the fact, and agree with your point.

This thread has stuck with me and I keep thinking about it. I think a lot of the advice on cozy and welcoming decor is important, as are traditions. That said, the more I think about it, the biggest thing is that your home feels safe. The only way to get this is to be emotionally available and present for your kids.

LOL we have had the opposite problem. There are times when I would like for my house to be more elegant than kid friendly. We have kids and dogs so its always been kid zone and changed over the years.

For little kids to elementary school - we dedicated one room upstairs and downstairs to certain toys so they could play easily and the dog wouldn't eat the legos. Toys were always in cabinets or bins that they could reach.

I made the breakfast room the area where they could do art. We had a cabinet filled with their art and crafty stuff that they could get out. It went from play doh to paint to drawing to modeling clay to clay etc as they got older.

As they got older the lego room became a game room with a screen and gaming chairs and an air hockey table. I didn't want then doing this alone in their rooms. We had a kid library with shelves full of books at different levels.

In the kitchen I kept cups and bowls at a level where they could get them.