Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even bringing children this young to a wedding? Idiotic.

You win the dumb comment award.

Yeah, that cracked me up.

Agreed. I hate being volun-told.

11:58 here-no, I did not help. I hung out with the kids at the hotel.

I think family should generally chip in a little bit with minor things but yes, are ultimately guests with minor co-hosting duties if necessary as your families are hosting the event.

It can also depend on location/venue. BIL’s wedding literally both sides of the family had to stay after 2-3 hours to totally remove and scrub the venue. It was pretty intense work and put a damper on things which is also more a reflection of certain key personalities involved. It can be fun but everyone should know ahead of time

Your dh should help, but not you or the kids.

I think one thing that OP may be just learning now, is that big events that used to be super fun - like weddings - are substantially less fun when you have little kids. It is what it is. I had my similar aged kids at my BIL's wedding a few years back. On Friday before the wedding my DH golfed with the whole groomsmen party while I figured out what to do with the kids (we went swimming, to the park, back to the hotel for nap, etc). I'm capable of managing my own kids without his help even in a hotel. I stayed at the rehearsal dinner with the kids until 7, then popped them in the car and went back to the hotel, missing the speeches, etc. It's a part of dragging kids to a family wedding. I didn't have an awesome weekend and didn't enjoy the event the way I would have four years prior, but that's how it goes. You are there to support your SIL and your DH should be helping out where possible while YES YOU WATCH YOUR KIDS.

I'm not from here originally but this thread has really surprised me. I can't imagine a circumstance where family wouldn't be expected (and would want to) help out with a wedding. We went to my SIL's wedding overseas with a toddler and infant twins. My DH helped out with some of the wedding prep and I looked after the kids. It didn't even occur to me to mind about this and we would think it the strangest thing in the world to pay people to do something that family members could easily do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a cheap bride and groom. Who asks guests to help set up. Sounds like they can’t afford the wedding. Eloping is OK. Asking guests, who have travelled in for your wedding, to help, is NOT.

OP is a b*** but you’re worse.

Call me crazy but I’d OFFER to help my sibling with whatever they needed. But, I’m not a self righteous a**hole.

I wouldn’t use the same language as you, but I completely agree. What’s wrong with all these folks not wanting to help their sibling on their wedding weekend?!

The only way someone ends up in this situation is they planned poorly. So you plan poorly then I have to fix it for you? Nah son

Not in my family we help out even if you don’t plan perfectly.

Exactly. Call me nuts, but a wedding weekend is all about the couple. I would do anything in my power to make sure my sister had a good weekend. If if things were planned hastily. Even if it meant I was more stressed and had some cranky children. In fact, I would want my children to learn that they should step up for each other one day.

TOTALLY DISAGREE. Whoever is hosting the wedding/wedding reception (sometimes the couple, sometimes the couple's parents) need to remember that they are hosts and behave accordingly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even bringing children this young to a wedding? Idiotic.

You win the dumb comment award.

Yeah, that cracked me up.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even bringing children this young to a wedding? Idiotic.

You win the dumb comment award.

Why are you even bringing children this young to a wedding? Idiotic.

I’d feel obligated to help or send DH to help, but I wouldn’t feel great about it. My attitude is that guests are guests, not unpaid help, even if they are family. You plan for the wedding you can afford to have comfortably. So, if there is no plan to pay someone to set up for a seated event, then the hosts need to make time to DIY, or they need to cut back somewhere else to make it happen, or they need to procure in-town volunteers well in advance. Obligating someone else to a task, whatever the event, isn’t cool.

Anonymous wrote:Your DH goes to help. You take care of the kids. Very straightforward.

+1

So DH goes to help and she wrangles the kids, at someone else’s house or hotel? Not cool.

I'm one of the "family help family" posters but OP isn't being a b as someone said, just because she doesn't want to haul and set up tables and chairs for 150. Yeah, I'd skip that. If DH wants to do it, cool, but it's not my sister and I've got my own kids, so heck no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's her wedding, she should arrange actual paid help if she needs it. Plus, it's odd she'd ask someone for help who is visiting, not local.

It’s asinine to ask out of town relatives with TWO toddlers to do this. She’s full on bridezilla territory with this request.

You have been very fortunate to never deal with an actual bridezilla because this is nowhere close to that, Princess.

SIL waited until a few day beforehand to mention this to people traveling with small kids. It's selfish if not full-on bridezilla.

You sound priceless, BTW, Princess!