We have a 6 year old and take 2 big vacations a year. One with DS and one just the two of us. This year it was Mexico with DS and DH and I are going to Spain. Next year will be Disney with DS and Aruba just the two of us.

We do a lot of small trips with and without DS as well.

We love.our family vacations but we also love our time together to reconnect and do whatever. Sex at 11am? Done. Staying up til 2am and sleeping in until 10? Not a problem. Just lounging and playing games with each other? Easy without having to watch a 6 year old. DH and I have a very strong marriage. And I credit that to making sure we remain connected as a husband and wife, not just mom and dad. It helps we have lots.of family close by who watch DS and DS is generally an easy going kid.

Pp here. The “please” should be pp. writing on phone.

Please here - my parents never went on vacation without us. I’m glad we got to go but I don’t know that it made for a better or worse family dynamic or marriage - just different. Also, they would leave us in the condo or hotel at a much younger age than you could now. On a ski vacation when I was in kindergarten they’d lay out my snowsuit and tell me to meet them in the lobby at lunch. I’d eat fruit loops and play with dolls and watch TV. My older siblings were more able to keep up so I was the only one in the hotel room all morning.

Last year (kids were 5.5 and 1) a friend offered to take them from 2 Pm Friday to 2 pm Sunday. No one had ever offered to watch them before, family isn’t an option. Other than giving birth, I hadn’t had a night away from my 5.5 years. We played things by ear, drank wine, had late dinners followed by strolls, sex uninterrupted by children’s needs etc. My toddler came down with hand foot and mouth disease so we started back very early Sunday am (we were 1.5 hrs away) but it was amazing. Just being able to sleep in was lovely. I also just took a trip for spring break with my 6.5 year old - we wanted to do some things where you have to be over 5; toddler was in preschool and DH working. We left Tues am and returned Fri pm and it was amazing and relaxing to focus on her and be spontaneous with what she wanted to do. Almost all of our “vacations” are to visit family. I’ll fly across the country with my girls in a few weeks to see my parents and siblings (and their kids), DH will come a few days later and he’ll return with them while I stay for a conference a short flight away. I like the time with my extended family and kids - and it’s the only trip we take most years (similar trip every other year at Xmas) but it doesn’t recharge me. My kids have chronic ent issues, the little one doesn’t sleep well, and we have no external help other than babysitters we hire (no family, no cleaners, etc) so we get tired and the break last year was really awesome.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.

Wait what!? My kids’ school has the same hours for children with working parents as it does for children with a stay at home parent. Your assumptions are astounding(ly foolish).

Except that is not true. A child of working parents generally has before and after care. Also the whole summer.......duh

Hmmm... working parents here with no before or after care - so much for your assumptions. Sorry you are so jealous you can’t take a trip without your kids that you have to blame others. I’ll think of you in my next kid-free vacation!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vacations are in way perfect for spending more time and connecting with your family, so why many people vacation without their kids? I am not trying to be judging, I want to understand what the thought process.

Because there are things I enjoy, and want to do, that my kids don't want to do, or aren't appropriate for them. And I see no reason why my spouse and I should have to wait 15 years to go wine tasting in Napa, for example.

Our kids stay with their grandparents, and all parties involved love the arrangements.

So, let me ask you - what is difficult to understand about this? Do you have a hard time interacting with your spouse if your kids aren't present? Do you need the kids as a buffer?

Nope. My kids are 20 and 18 now . We have a very strong marriage. Napa is not a necessity and is selfish. I would save that for when the kids are grown.

Do you know delayed gratification? Do you always put yourself first? You can manage without Napa.

You sound insufferable. Also the message your kids got may not be the one you thought you were sending by never prioritizing your marriage.

Because who the hell doesn't need a break from kids for a few days?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.

My parents would have trouble watching my toddlers if they weren’t in daycare. How do you find sitters to watch your kids 24/7 while you’re gone for a week?!

My kids are thrilled to get one on one grandparent time. Maybe you shouldn’t bother having kids if you can’t be separated from them or trust grandparents to watch them.

You are the one who shouldn’t have kids if you can’t care for them.
I’m a NP.

+1

NP here. I'm with you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.

Wait what!? My kids’ school has the same hours for children with working parents as it does for children with a stay at home parent. Your assumptions are astounding(ly foolish).

Except that is not true. A child of working parents generally has before and after care. Also the whole summer.......duh

You’re a nasty troll

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.

This 100%

So the working parent isn’t selfish for spending “so little time” then going on an adults only vacation? As usual this is about punishing women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.

My parents would have trouble watching my toddlers if they weren’t in daycare. How do you find sitters to watch your kids 24/7 while you’re gone for a week?!

My kids are thrilled to get one on one grandparent time. Maybe you shouldn’t bother having kids if you can’t be separated from them or trust grandparents to watch them.

Your parents sound incapable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.

My parents would have trouble watching my toddlers if they weren’t in daycare. How do you find sitters to watch your kids 24/7 while you’re gone for a week?!

My kids are thrilled to get one on one grandparent time. Maybe you shouldn’t bother having kids if you can’t be separated from them or trust grandparents to watch them.

You are the one who shouldn’t have kids if you can’t care for them.
I’m a NP.

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine for a stay at home parent and spouse to take vacations without the kids, but when both parents are working full time I think it’s a little selfish. I mean, you spend so little time with your kids as it is, and then you go on vacation without them? Kind of makes me wonder why you bothered having kids in the first place.

My parents would have trouble watching my toddlers if they weren’t in daycare. How do you find sitters to watch your kids 24/7 while you’re gone for a week?!

My kids are thrilled to get one on one grandparent time. Maybe you shouldn’t bother having kids if you can’t be separated from them or trust grandparents to watch them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vacations are in way perfect for spending more time and connecting with your family, so why many people vacation without their kids? I am not trying to be judging, I want to understand what the thought process.

Because there are things I enjoy, and want to do, that my kids don't want to do, or aren't appropriate for them. And I see no reason why my spouse and I should have to wait 15 years to go wine tasting in Napa, for example.

Our kids stay with their grandparents, and all parties involved love the arrangements.

So, let me ask you - what is difficult to understand about this? Do you have a hard time interacting with your spouse if your kids aren't present? Do you need the kids as a buffer?

Nope. My kids are 20 and 18 now . We have a very strong marriage. Napa is not a necessity and is selfish. I would save that for when the kids are grown.

Do you know delayed gratification? Do you always put yourself first? You can manage without Napa.

You sound like a judgemental bore.

I guess it also depends on how much time off you have.