Anonymous
05/21/2019 07:12
Subject: Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
I have a 9yo who has been flying as a UM for several years now (since 6, which is the youngest that it is allowed). Grandparents are a one-hour direct flight from here.
I've also done multiple trans-Pac flights, solo and as a family.
I'd let my 9yo do a 2-4 hour domestic direct flight at this point. Kid is an experienced flyer and level-headed, and old enough to be equipped with a phone and an emergency plan if there is a diversion due to weather, etc.
No way would I do a 14 trans-Pac solo flight. OP, I think you are making the right choice.
I've also done multiple trans-Pac flights, solo and as a family.
I'd let my 9yo do a 2-4 hour domestic direct flight at this point. Kid is an experienced flyer and level-headed, and old enough to be equipped with a phone and an emergency plan if there is a diversion due to weather, etc.
No way would I do a 14 trans-Pac solo flight. OP, I think you are making the right choice.
Anonymous
05/21/2019 07:07
Subject: Re:Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
What do you mean you have the kids that week in August? I always hit Koh Phangan those two weeks.
Anonymous
05/21/2019 07:04
Subject: Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How old? Who is she going to see?
11 yrs. he wants to take her on half of his vacation with his (childless therefor clueless about children- sorry) new wife. I’m so angry he’s be such an idiot in regards to his parenting responsibilities, I’m shaking. He’s generally a blue ribbon, horrible jerk but even for him, this was a shock to me.
11 is not “young daughter”...she is a tween. Your jealousy is showing. How does DD feel about the flight? What other steps to independence does she take...ride the bus? Sleep away camp?
+1
Listen our school doesn’t let our 11 year old cross a 4 lane lighted crosswalk to school, so 11 is still young.
Where are people seeing she opposes the trip, my impression was she just opposes the UAM portion. That said, if they have never been overseas, and xDH is not used to international travel either but is instead following his young new bride, it could be dicey. I mean new wife is recently single and leading the trip — so are they heading to night clubs in Bali and sticking the girls with local babysitters? Or is it more she is visiting her family in Japan? Very different scope, and OP hasnt talked about that but that would be part of my thought.
As a family, our vacations are family focused; this sounds more like a couples destination vacation that overlaps on ‘his time’ (maybe b/c it is so long).
Anonymous
05/21/2019 06:48
Subject: Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So why not let them have the girls for the entire trip. That will be a great experience for them. It sounds like you are more angry that the ex got married and they do these things than what is best for the kids. Find a compromise.
What makes you think the ex and his wife want to have the two children for time beyond the vacation? Wouldn’t the ex have offered that as an option? Instead he wants to send the girls home on a flight alone so that he and is new wife can continue vacationing in Asia without children.
This is the impression i got too. I don;t know why everyone is assuming OP just won't let he ex have the kids. I think she would be fine if they were flying round trip with the ex. I also think the answer to this question depends on the maturity and experience of the kids. Sounds like they are not very experienced travelers. OP, in your shoes, I would also say no.
OP is saying no to any travel. She'd probably say no even if Dad or stepmom flew both ways with the kids.
I didn’t get that impression. If it was the case, why ask her question specifically about long haul international unaccompanied?
I agree with the bitter stepmom thesis. I think some women want the stepkids when they want them under the circumstances convenient to the adults. They get furious that their DH can’t force that. Little regard for the children. During my ex’s brief marriage, she wanted DC overnight three times a week for CS, but wanted me to pack an overnight bag so they didn’t have to do laundry and then pick DC up in the morning and drive to school.
Anonymous
05/21/2019 06:43
Subject: Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How old? Who is she going to see?
11 yrs. he wants to take her on half of his vacation with his (childless therefor clueless about children- sorry) new wife. I’m so angry he’s be such an idiot in regards to his parenting responsibilities, I’m shaking. He’s generally a blue ribbon, horrible jerk but even for him, this was a shock to me.
11 is not “young daughter”...she is a tween. Your jealousy is showing. How does DD feel about the flight? What other steps to independence does she take...ride the bus? Sleep away camp?
+1
Anonymous
05/21/2019 06:43
Subject: Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would not. I’ve recently flown two long haul flights and would not think it appropriate for a young unaccompanied female passenger. The flight attendants have many duties on long flights like that and even if you pay an unaccompanied minor fee that does not mean they will keep eyes on for the whole flight. It’s dark, people sleep, people roam around, people drink too much. If your daughter has experience doing this kind of solo travel on long flights and is mature and has good judgment then maybe but I personally would not. He can either send you a ticket too so you can bring her or they can plan a different trip together. Or he can fly back himself to get her.
Its a bit ironic that all these parents who probably minimally supervise at home are concerned about a plane ride. Its absurd. OP probably would not let the kids go even if Dad came and got them,
We have friend's daughters who regularly fly cross country alone to see us. Never been an issue.
Cross county is NOT the same as long haul transpacific.
For these purposes, what's the difference? Is it only the length of the flight?
Hey, can you tell us how many young unaccompanied minors you saw on that flight and how they fared?
The fact you are asking this suggests you have never flown long haul Trans-Pacific, even as an adult.
I have, within the last six months.
So, other than the length of the flight, what's the difference?
Anonymous
05/21/2019 06:40
Subject: Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
Anonymous wrote:There must be several bitter step moms here. I see no other way to explain the bizarre attacking of OP for sanely forbidding her ex from sending two elementary girls that have rarely flown before solo across the pacific. You people that think this is fine are nutso.
OP apparently doesn't want them flying even WITH the ex or with the step. It is wrong to deprive them of the opportunity to see a parent and also another part of the world.
Anonymous
05/21/2019 05:25
Subject: Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
There must be several bitter step moms here. I see no other way to explain the bizarre attacking of OP for sanely forbidding her ex from sending two elementary girls that have rarely flown before solo across the pacific. You people that think this is fine are nutso.
Anonymous
05/20/2019 23:08
Subject: Re:Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
My 11-year-old flew as a UAM for the first time at the holidays -- domestically. And no younger sibling. She was the last one off the plane at arrival because, in the confusion and bustle after landing, she didn't hear them call her name. And once the plane was empty, and she was tired of waiting, she walked up to the front to ask if she could get off. The response was something like "oh, we didn't know what happened to you". So, no, probably not. Especially with a younger sibling.
Anonymous
05/20/2019 23:06
Subject: Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So why not let them have the girls for the entire trip. That will be a great experience for them. It sounds like you are more angry that the ex got married and they do these things than what is best for the kids. Find a compromise.
What makes you think the ex and his wife want to have the two children for time beyond the vacation? Wouldn’t the ex have offered that as an option? Instead he wants to send the girls home on a flight alone so that he and is new wife can continue vacationing in Asia without children.
This is the impression i got too. I don;t know why everyone is assuming OP just won't let he ex have the kids. I think she would be fine if they were flying round trip with the ex. I also think the answer to this question depends on the maturity and experience of the kids. Sounds like they are not very experienced travelers. OP, in your shoes, I would also say no.
OP is saying no to any travel. She'd probably say no even if Dad or stepmom flew both ways with the kids.
DP. Oh, that is flat out wrong. I can't believe a responsible and loving parent would deprive her children of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. OP needs to grow up.
Anonymous
05/20/2019 22:46
Subject: Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So why not let them have the girls for the entire trip. That will be a great experience for them. It sounds like you are more angry that the ex got married and they do these things than what is best for the kids. Find a compromise.
What makes you think the ex and his wife want to have the two children for time beyond the vacation? Wouldn’t the ex have offered that as an option? Instead he wants to send the girls home on a flight alone so that he and is new wife can continue vacationing in Asia without children.
This is the impression i got too. I don;t know why everyone is assuming OP just won't let he ex have the kids. I think she would be fine if they were flying round trip with the ex. I also think the answer to this question depends on the maturity and experience of the kids. Sounds like they are not very experienced travelers. OP, in your shoes, I would also say no.
OP is saying no to any travel. She'd probably say no even if Dad or stepmom flew both ways with the kids.
Anonymous
05/20/2019 22:35
Subject: Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
Anonymous wrote:At 9 and 11, and with no prior experience flying alone, I'd be inclined to say no, too. That is a long flight for kids who haven't done anything like that before, and 11 is too young to be responsible for the 9-year-old, especially if something unexpected happens.
The fact that it's back to the US would help, though. I'd look at the airline's UM policy to find out exactly what services are provided, including whether their father would have to wait at the departure gate with them until the plane takes off, whether someone physically walks with them through customs and baggage claim, and ensures that they are reunited with me. But again, I'd be inclined to say no. If they were more used to air travel, and had successfully taken a shorter flight as UM before, that would be different.
+1 I did solo international travel a lot as a kid and I had one really difficult experience that challenged both me and my parents, who didn't know where I was after my flight experienced a weather diversion here in the US. Because of my prior experiences, I knew what to do and was able to keep myself safe but a lot of kids haven't had those experiences. Of course, this was before the days of cell phones but still a lot of things can go kaflooey.
Anonymous
05/20/2019 12:07
Subject: Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
At 9 and 11, and with no prior experience flying alone, I'd be inclined to say no, too. That is a long flight for kids who haven't done anything like that before, and 11 is too young to be responsible for the 9-year-old, especially if something unexpected happens.
The fact that it's back to the US would help, though. I'd look at the airline's UM policy to find out exactly what services are provided, including whether their father would have to wait at the departure gate with them until the plane takes off, whether someone physically walks with them through customs and baggage claim, and ensures that they are reunited with me. But again, I'd be inclined to say no. If they were more used to air travel, and had successfully taken a shorter flight as UM before, that would be different.
The fact that it's back to the US would help, though. I'd look at the airline's UM policy to find out exactly what services are provided, including whether their father would have to wait at the departure gate with them until the plane takes off, whether someone physically walks with them through customs and baggage claim, and ensures that they are reunited with me. But again, I'd be inclined to say no. If they were more used to air travel, and had successfully taken a shorter flight as UM before, that would be different.
Anonymous
05/20/2019 12:01
Subject: Re:Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
Anonymous wrote:Note an 11 year old flies as an unaccompanied minor. They're not going to lose their passport because the flight crew holds it for them, and they arne't going to get confused in immigration, because the staff will escort them the entire way until an adult shows up to collect them. This is different from sending your MIL on a flight -- she's an adult and doesn't get that special treatment.
Some airlines have a policy that a UM can't be seated next to a male traveling alone.
Absent something like autism and anxiety or a tendency to get into big fights with each other, I would do it. The additional fee you pay for UAM means they have minders. Most airlines will require the sending off adult to stay at the departure gate until the airplane has taken off (not just pulled back from the gate) and will require the receiving adult to meet the children at the arrival gate or at customs (where they are escorted through by the airlines). OP should really look at the airline's policy before freaking out.
Anonymous
05/20/2019 11:52
Subject: Unaccompanied minor on long haul transpacific flight?
Anonymous wrote:For those responding...do you take long haul flights internationally several times a year? Ever done one from Asia? I do and have. The last one was 3 weeks ago. I don’t really understand all the fear around a long-haul flight. I find the customer service in Asia to be far superior to that of the U.S.
Same here. If anything, they're less hectic because the flight attendants are not rushing to do quite as much in a shorter amount of time. I don't see what the big deal is flying a tween and older sibling back. Since airports and customs in the US can be daunting, I would pay for the extra attention and minding that comes with paying for UAM even if the older child is over 14.