DH claims it was my intellect. I think it was my looks.

Seriously though, men prefer women who want them back. They like enthusiastic sexual partners first and foremost.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Finally, the question is not what men should want, but what men do want. And they don't want a girl who has been plundered by countless other guys.

...plundered?

Yes, plundered. Pillaged, ransacked, ravaged, despoiled.

Are you getting the idea that men do not regard their women having given themselves to numerous other men as a good thing?

Good. Because it's true.

Dude, you're a sad, misogynistic little man. Having sex is not like getting attacked by a boatful of Somali pirates. When you actually sleep with someone for the first time, perhaps you'll understand this.

This woman's boat has has a lot of somalis in it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a question I’ve been pondering about lately. I’m finding it very hard to find a nice guy to settle down with. I’ve been hearing different things from different people regarding the things men find attractive in a woman. However, they’re usually from a woman’s perspective. I would like to hear the men’s perspective regarding this, so I can understand them better and have realistic expectations.

I’ll list the qualities/attributes that a woman may possess:

Education levels [NO]
Youth [YES]
Wealth [NO]
Social Status [NO]
Career [NO, NO, NO]
Fertility [YES]
Independence [NO]
Beauty [YES, YES, YES, YES, YES]
Confidence [NO]
Athletic/Physically active [YES - but only matters if she's got youth and beauty]

If men were to select the top 3 attributes from the list that attracts them to a woman, what would they be?

And there's another one that will enrage the DCUM women, but you asked for a male perspective so here it is:

Reasonably low number of previous sexual partners. Meaning, less than ten. No man wants to marry a woman who has been with dozens of other guys.

Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

No one likes knowing that he married a woman that dozens of other men thought was only worthy of one night of cheap fast sex

Again, men are pretty simple. Looks is the first thing they notice, then personality and chemistry. They really don't care about career or degrees. That doesn't mean they don't care if the woman is stupid, but they don't really care how many degrees a woman has or from where.

Boobs

Um. 1) you're going on dcum to meet women? 2) I doubt a lawyer, doctor, senior business executive is devoting time to writing a detailed post on an internet forum about women's hotness, the way you just did..... I think the responses we're getting on this thread are from a certain type of man looking for a certain type of woman.

You "doubt" that men in with certain jobs are on here. Have you ever read the medical posts and seen the number of doctors that respond? Ditto with the lawyers that respond when a legal issue comes up.

You are not able to support your statements in any real fashion, and you have no idea who is devoting time to writing posts on here. I am an executive (I do tax related M&A work) and there is a very, very good chance my time is more valuable than yours in terms of what I earn for what I do.

You "think" a certain type of man is responding, but you have no idea how to support your "thought." What do you do for a living? Do you make unfounded statements as a part of your job? The question is sincere. Specifically, do you often draw conclusions based on your feelings instead of based on objective information?

I don't know, seems like a lot of men I know prefer average-looking women (who preferably are easy) over actual beauties. Seems that they feel insecure around truly beautiful women and just like to knock them down a peg or two.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

Doesn't matter why it matters. You might as well ask why it matters to women that a man is taller than them. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does.

It probably won't matter for casual dating, but it certainly matters for marriage. The more previous partners she's had, the more likely the marriage will end in divorce. Not to put too fine a point on it, if she's had a lot of previous partners, this decreases the odds that she will "stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him".

Finally, the question is not what men should want, but what men do want. And they don't want a girl who has been plundered by countless other guys.

Not true.
My sisters were both virgins when they married, they now wonder and fantasize about other men while they are married.
I worry they will cheat. I have had 27 partners. I got all that crap out of my system. Married 21 years now, no interest in other men, at all.

Somewhat off topic but how does one get the desire for other partners out of ones system? Man here, had lots of partners before marriage and still want lots now.

FWIW, I don't care if my wife had fun before they met me. I can understand why some men care although usually its because they dated women who made them work hard to get into bed with them and are resentful of the fact women let others in much easier.

Careful on those career women my younger sons..90% chance not worth it..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Honestly, I'm not sure there's any rhyme or reason to it.

Sure there is: looks, personality, then other stuff. If a woman wants more dating options, she should lose the fat, look hot, be fun, and not assume bragging about her Mensa membership helps sell herself.

I like smart women. Dumb ones are boring and get even more boring over time. Who wants to talk to a wall?

But you dont know if they are smart until you interact with them, so the first thing has to be looks. Without looks, you'd never notice them. What turns my head, is different than what turns your head, but without you noticing they are "your type" in the looks department, nothing else happens.

T
A
P

It’s not hard to figure out

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

Doesn't matter why it matters. You might as well ask why it matters to women that a man is taller than them. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does.

It probably won't matter for casual dating, but it certainly matters for marriage. The more previous partners she's had, the more likely the marriage will end in divorce. Not to put too fine a point on it, if she's had a lot of previous partners, this decreases the odds that she will "stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him".

Finally, the question is not what men should want, but what men do want. And they don't want a girl who has been plundered by countless other guys.

Not true.
My sisters were both virgins when they married, they now wonder and fantasize about other men while they are married.
I worry they will cheat. I have had 27 partners. I got all that crap out of my system. Married 21 years now, no interest in other men, at all.

Actually, you probably got a lot of crap IN your system. But that's ok...I'm not judging you.

Good because there is nothing to judge. Looking forward to my 25 th anniversary in a few years. Never had eyes for another since meeting DH. So happy things worked out how they did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

Doesn't matter why it matters. You might as well ask why it matters to women that a man is taller than them. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does.

It probably won't matter for casual dating, but it certainly matters for marriage. The more previous partners she's had, the more likely the marriage will end in divorce. Not to put too fine a point on it, if she's had a lot of previous partners, this decreases the odds that she will "stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him".

Finally, the question is not what men should want, but what men do want. And they don't want a girl who has been plundered by countless other guys.

Not true.
My sisters were both virgins when they married, they now wonder and fantasize about other men while they are married.
I worry they will cheat. I have had 27 partners. I got all that crap out of my system. Married 21 years now, no interest in other men, at all.

Actually, you probably got a lot of crap IN your system. But that's ok...I'm not judging you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

Doesn't matter why it matters. You might as well ask why it matters to women that a man is taller than them. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does.

It probably won't matter for casual dating, but it certainly matters for marriage. The more previous partners she's had, the more likely the marriage will end in divorce. Not to put too fine a point on it, if she's had a lot of previous partners, this decreases the odds that she will "stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him".

Finally, the question is not what men should want, but what men do want. And they don't want a girl who has been plundered by countless other guys.

Not true.
My sisters were both virgins when they married, they now wonder and fantasize about other men while they are married.
I worry they will cheat. I have had 27 partners. I got all that crap out of my system. Married 21 years now, no interest in other men, at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. That’s interesting that men find beauty so important. I was thinking they would find youth and fertility also important on a similar level.

So if men are presented with an average looking woman in her 20s and another woman in her mid 30s who is a stunning 10/10, who would they most likely date?

Youth, beauty, and fertility generally go together.

And it depends what the guy wants. If he wants someone to have babies with, it'll be the 20-something every time.

Not so. Early 30s is perfectly fine too.

Nope. You want to have time to date her for a few years, be married w/o kids for a few years, and have two kids spaced a reasonable amount of time apart. Try doing that in early 30s and you risk running into late 30s fertility problems.

No, we didn't want to be married long without kids. We also always wanted our kids two years apart. By our third anniversary, we had two kids.