This came across my FB feed this morning and it made me think of OP:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It might soften the blow if you create a space for some books in your current house. Get some nice built-ins for the rare books and say how important it is for you to have a piece of the library in your house, but you won’t be able to keep all of them.

+1

Be gracious and considerate of their feelings. They think they are doing you a favor, so treat the ILs kindly about the matter. They want you to have them, but it is just not practical.

OP here. I agree with you, but I don't know if there is a way at all to decline the offer and still make them believe we are gracious.

ILs are very nice people though, but older people can be sensitive you know. I do not want to hurt any one's feelings. If we had a mansion I would be happily take all the books, well, maybe not happily.

Then maybe fib to them and take them, but don't keep them. Donate them to a good cause - a school, or something they would not be all that mad about, if they were alive.

They sound like good people, trying to do a good thing. I would feel differently if they were pushy and entitled about it.

There is plenty of room for you to be kind to your ILs, who sound very nice but misguided, without compromising your house. Put the books in a storage facility for the short term when you inherit them, and then call in the used book experts. Let them do the inventory and identification of anything valuable, and then donate. Your DH may want the list anyway - books tell you a lot about people. I could see myself going through a list of my parents' books and laughing "what the hell did they get that for?" or "huh, I didn't know they were interested in X and Y." Also, it sounds like there is a lot of history since it's been a generational thing. It'd be a shame to lose all that. You can keep the titles and information but donate the physical books.

This sounds good, but my experience is that appraisers are very expensive and you pay them per hour. I think it would be worthwhile to have an appraiser go through the books to see if there are any rare first editions etc., but, if you really want an inventory, I’d hire a college kid to do it.

And if it’s three generations worth of books, I believe it could be 30,000 titles. My husband and I recently thinned out our library and gave away over 40 boxes of books (and we still have several bookshelves full). That’s just what we happened to accumulate — we weren’t trying to build a “library” like OPs family. It’s totally possible that each generation contributed 10,000 books.

Hiring college kids to do inventory is a great idea! It'll be faster for the appraisers to identify potentially valuable books if they're just scanning a spreadsheet as opposed to digging in boxes, so you'll pay for fewer hours of their time, too.

I am OP, I would actually enjoy inventory the books, if I retired and have time. I love organizing, and labeling things, and inventory.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It might soften the blow if you create a space for some books in your current house. Get some nice built-ins for the rare books and say how important it is for you to have a piece of the library in your house, but you won’t be able to keep all of them.

+1

Be gracious and considerate of their feelings. They think they are doing you a favor, so treat the ILs kindly about the matter. They want you to have them, but it is just not practical.

OP here. I agree with you, but I don't know if there is a way at all to decline the offer and still make them believe we are gracious.

ILs are very nice people though, but older people can be sensitive you know. I do not want to hurt any one's feelings. If we had a mansion I would be happily take all the books, well, maybe not happily.

Then maybe fib to them and take them, but don't keep them. Donate them to a good cause - a school, or something they would not be all that mad about, if they were alive.

They sound like good people, trying to do a good thing. I would feel differently if they were pushy and entitled about it.

There is plenty of room for you to be kind to your ILs, who sound very nice but misguided, without compromising your house. Put the books in a storage facility for the short term when you inherit them, and then call in the used book experts. Let them do the inventory and identification of anything valuable, and then donate. Your DH may want the list anyway - books tell you a lot about people. I could see myself going through a list of my parents' books and laughing "what the hell did they get that for?" or "huh, I didn't know they were interested in X and Y." Also, it sounds like there is a lot of history since it's been a generational thing. It'd be a shame to lose all that. You can keep the titles and information but donate the physical books.

This sounds good, but my experience is that appraisers are very expensive and you pay them per hour. I think it would be worthwhile to have an appraiser go through the books to see if there are any rare first editions etc., but, if you really want an inventory, I’d hire a college kid to do it.

And if it’s three generations worth of books, I believe it could be 30,000 titles. My husband and I recently thinned out our library and gave away over 40 boxes of books (and we still have several bookshelves full). That’s just what we happened to accumulate — we weren’t trying to build a “library” like OPs family. It’s totally possible that each generation contributed 10,000 books.

Hiring college kids to do inventory is a great idea! It'll be faster for the appraisers to identify potentially valuable books if they're just scanning a spreadsheet as opposed to digging in boxes, so you'll pay for fewer hours of their time, too.

Anonymous wrote:^ It’s called “The Curse of the Petrie People”

Thanks! I've seen the show on Amazon prime videos, will check it out!

Americans accumulate too much "stuff"! I am only bringing up books here, but there are many other categories that we'll have to deal with too!

As a mom, I am trying to minimize everything, I am constantly throwing away things, and DH hasn't noticed a bit!

^ It’s called “The Curse of the Petrie People”

One last thing OP, there is a Dick VanDyke episode (yes, black and white) that deals with an inheritance the MIL can’t wait to pass down. It’s a funny humorous look at what families do to each other and yet still keep some traditions going. If you can stand it being an old show, you will find it pretty funny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is NOT your inheritance so you have no say in what your husband does with his inheritance. You need to MYOB.

I see your point. We are not getting the books yet, I just wanted to think about it and see what other people suggest. We may move or build a house in the near future, and need to take into consideration whether the books will be in our house or not.

I don't agree with that PP. That inheritance is definitely your business if it means a ton of stuff in your present or future house. Since you live in that house, you get a vote on what goes in it. If you were going to inherit 30,000 pieces of fine china from your mom, your DH would have every right to raise questions about how and where you would store and display it in the house.

Thanks! I am OP, even my in-laws always tell me those books are going to be "you and xx (DH's name)", so yeah, I do think I have a say in this. I respect DH's choice to a certain extent though. Anyway, we aren't getting the books yet. And I hope my in-laws live a long life.

And readers, please don't get hang up on the exact number of books, I don't have the exact number. But way more books than I can handle. Plus DH never read them!!! I won't read them either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I don't know exactly how many books there are, I don't have time to count them, so I said it was an estimate. Not trying to exaggerate. But also, does it make a difference if, let's say the number is 5000, does that change people's response? they have a very big house, and many rooms have floor to ceiling bookshelves full of books, and like I said, some books are in boxes in their attic - don't know how many.

Yes, because 5,000 is a relatively manageable number that could fit in an ordinary house. I have more than that myself.

if it fits, it should be kept?

Not necessarily, but it wouldn't be impossible to have that many actually in the house while you sorted through to figure out which to keep, which to donate, and which to sell on eBay. Anything more than 10,000 and you're talking storage unit, which is more trouble and expense than it's worth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I don't know exactly how many books there are, I don't have time to count them, so I said it was an estimate. Not trying to exaggerate. But also, does it make a difference if, let's say the number is 5000, does that change people's response? they have a very big house, and many rooms have floor to ceiling bookshelves full of books, and like I said, some books are in boxes in their attic - don't know how many.

Yes, because 5,000 is a relatively manageable number that could fit in an ordinary house. I have more than that myself.

if it fits, it should be kept?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is NOT your inheritance so you have no say in what your husband does with his inheritance. You need to MYOB.

I see your point. We are not getting the books yet, I just wanted to think about it and see what other people suggest. We may move or build a house in the near future, and need to take into consideration whether the books will be in our house or not.

I don't agree with that PP. That inheritance is definitely your business if it means a ton of stuff in your present or future house. Since you live in that house, you get a vote on what goes in it. If you were going to inherit 30,000 pieces of fine china from your mom, your DH would have every right to raise questions about how and where you would store and display it in the house.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I don't know exactly how many books there are, I don't have time to count them, so I said it was an estimate. Not trying to exaggerate. But also, does it make a difference if, let's say the number is 5000, does that change people's response? they have a very big house, and many rooms have floor to ceiling bookshelves full of books, and like I said, some books are in boxes in their attic - don't know how many.

Yes, because 5,000 is a relatively manageable number that could fit in an ordinary house. I have more than that myself.

There may be treasure in those books and not just monetary treasure.

Two stories:

1. I have an acquaintance that owns a book store and he related to me that he was able to convert a $500 estate sale book collection (7 books) into $250K worth of book sales/trades over a 6 month period of time. He started with low dollar trades using his personal list of contacts in North America and Europe to repeatedly sell and trade from his estate sale starting point in order to get a couple of very valuable sales at the end. The initial sales were for several hundred then it bumped up to 7/8K then a series of 25K book sales/trades and the last one was around 50K and when it was said and done he had a couple left over that he put in his store. He said that it made his year. These books were old bibles, prayer books, Hymnals, and the likes. Not all old books have market value.

2. I personally have a couple of old history books (early 1900s) and a few old math books (1800s). The history books in particular were eye opening to me in that they provide a perspective on how people though at the time which doesn't align with the modern narrative that people today project onto people of that era. These books are not valuable except that when I found then it brought into sharp focus that modern education is revisionist, watered down, and agenda driven. If you want to know something it is better to get it from the original source than to merely believe a 3 or 4th hand source.

On a final note, I have about 24 linear feat of books that consumes 4 book shelves. They are mostly science (math/physics/engineering) books which I use periodically as reference materials. My wife occasionally suggests that I throw them away. She sees no value in the books. She gets her information from YouTube and social media. Our local library is almost exclusively children's fiction and romance novels.

Lol if you let those books in the door you will be stuck with musty dusty books in your new home forever!

Anonymous wrote:This is NOT your inheritance so you have no say in what your husband does with his inheritance. You need to MYOB.

I see your point. We are not getting the books yet, I just wanted to think about it and see what other people suggest. We may move or build a house in the near future, and need to take into consideration whether the books will be in our house or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is plenty of room for you to be kind to your ILs, who sound very nice but misguided, without compromising your house. Put the books in a storage facility for the short term when you inherit them, and then call in the used book experts. Let them do the inventory and identification of anything valuable, and then donate. Your DH may want the list anyway - books tell you a lot about people. I could see myself going through a list of my parents' books and laughing "what the hell did they get that for?" or "huh, I didn't know they were interested in X and Y." Also, it sounds like there is a lot of history since it's been a generational thing. It'd be a shame to lose all that. You can keep the titles and information but donate the physical books.

So hey one of the joys of decluttering my dad's house after he died was finding his hidden porn collection...

So much Japanese bondage porn on my dad's computer. I will never unsee that.