Anonymous wrote:Early on he was very nice to me and I got comfortable sharing my vulnerabilities and weaknesses with him. It didn’t take long for him to use them against me, and know what buttons to push to punish me. When I withdrew emotionally, he said I was cold and that we need to be each others’ emotional support system. No way. I take care of myself by taking care of my responsibilities and having the satisfaction of knowing I’ve done a good job. I told him he’s free to leave at any time, but he’s stayed. Together we have two great kids, a nice home and a nice life. Yes it lacks warm and fuzzies but it is much safer and stable this way. I learned in those early years to throw up that boundary of not letting him near me emotionally.

Anonymous wrote:Early on he was very nice to me and I got comfortable sharing my vulnerabilities and weaknesses with him. It didn’t take long for him to use them against me, and know what buttons to push to punish me. When I withdrew emotionally, he said I was cold and that we need to be each others’ emotional support system. No way. I take care of myself by taking care of my responsibilities and having the satisfaction of knowing I’ve done a good job. I told him he’s free to leave at any time, but he’s stayed. Together we have two great kids, a nice home and a nice life. Yes it lacks warm and fuzzies but it is much safer and stable this way. I learned in those early years to throw up that boundary of not letting him near me emotionally.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am going through a very difficult time emotionally and logistically re: my aging parents. My DH and I have financial resources and are raising two young children. I am finally emerging from a situational depression with the help of a therapist (bu not my DH) and am feeling my zest for life and my future returning.

But my DH is a drag, and when I am upset, he in turn gets very anxious and goes to worst case scenarios, which he taunts me with. I need a hug and someone to help me sort it out - not someone who can't handle his own sh*t or create some space for me to.

How many women are married or partnered with a man who actually has some emotional strength?

YOU are the one with depression who gets upset and needs hugs, but HE is the one who lacks emotional strength?

Apparently "emotional strength" is defined as "willingness to be your human blankie and teddy". Whatever.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy. I understand that sometimes women just like to vent. But I get very tired very fast if they're not looking for a solution. Why listen to someone complain about the same thing over and over again, who takes no steps to solve it? Admittedly, I don't take the necessary steps to solve the problems in my life. But I also don't vent about them. I only bring stuff up when I want help finding a solution. It seems like a lot of PP are facing this in their spouses; some seem okay with it, others not. I don't think it is a case of capability of emotional support. It's a question of why provide it to someone who wants to conceive or herself as a victim. It's fine sometimes, but it gets nauseating. Of course, I'm not referring here to real traumas. But to venting about day-to-day stuff. My fiancée doesn't vent that much, and I appreciate that immensely. It's part of the reason I respect her a ton.

Anonymous wrote:No, but he has issues