Anonymous
Post 02/22/2019 10:45     Subject: Husbands, what little things do you wish your wives would stop/change?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is it because she's moving around doing house or child care?


Yes, or work email/text, etc. I am too. Last night I got home and immediately started cleaning the kitchen, cooking dinner and helping our teen with math homework. I get it - there’s lots to be done, but the 10 seconds it takes to hug someone won’t take the household schedule off track.


Approaching me to GIVE you something--a hug--while I am busy doing something that benefits you/the household/your children shows that you don't notice or care what I'm doing. How about:

"Thank you for making dinner. Can I help with anything? When you're not busy, I'd love a hug."


The day you have to ASK for a hug is the day your marriage is dead. You literally can’t put the dishes aside for TWO SECONDS to hug your spouse and show them the tiniest bit of affection? Jesus Christ.


Seriously expecting a hug every day upon entering the home is way over the top. Probably the busy time, how about letting the partner decide on when they want to give out the hugs, LOL. Little petty stuff, non-issues.


Uh, that's pretty cold. I mean, if you and your spouse are both low in physical affection needs, that's fine, but, for people for whom physical affection is a primary love language (which is a lot of, if not most, men), just refusing to stop for a minute to acknowledge your spouse like this is like starving your relationship of air. I mean, there are times that it might be impractical to drop everything at that very moment (but, still come back within 5 or 10 minutes), but if you can't stop and greet your life partner with a quick hug, you're too busy or have misplaced priorities.


I’m the original poster with the hug issue. Her love language is “Acts of Service” and I try to provide that daily. I get up before she does to make her (or go out and purchase favorite) coffee, even when it means changing my sleep schedule. I ask her daily if there’s anything I can take off of her calender, run errands, wash her car, even the mundane daily stuff (cooking, cleaning, homework, etc). I’m sure you can shoot anything I say full of holes but the point is that I’m teying to give her what she needs and proactively asking. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t WANT to do that stuff (aside from helping my kid with HW, which I enjoy). I do it because I recognize that’s the way she wants to be loved.

As the previous poster stated, my love language is physical affection. And, am I asking for her to put the same amount of minutes/hours in that I do for her? Ansolutely not, that would be unreasonable. But what if instead of the hour a day (or whatever it is) that I’m putting in doing thoughtful things to help out, she gives back 5 minutes? Maybe in the form of a hug, a hand on the shoulder, hell, I’d take anything that wasn’t provided by the dog.


You're a keep track type person, and a little needy.

Tell her you how you feel. Maybe you can compromise, try for 2 times a week. And don't minimize your dog's affection, they are part of the family.


Please learn to quote properly. Thanks.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2019 10:42     Subject: Husbands, what little things do you wish your wives would stop/change?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is it because she's moving around doing house or child care?


Yes, or work email/text, etc. I am too. Last night I got home and immediately started cleaning the kitchen, cooking dinner and helping our teen with math homework. I get it - there’s lots to be done, but the 10 seconds it takes to hug someone won’t take the household schedule off track.


Approaching me to GIVE you something--a hug--while I am busy doing something that benefits you/the household/your children shows that you don't notice or care what I'm doing. How about:

"Thank you for making dinner. Can I help with anything? When you're not busy, I'd love a hug."


The day you have to ASK for a hug is the day your marriage is dead. You literally can’t put the dishes aside for TWO SECONDS to hug your spouse and show them the tiniest bit of affection? Jesus Christ.


Seriously expecting a hug every day upon entering the home is way over the top. Probably the busy time, how about letting the partner decide on when they want to give out the hugs, LOL. Little petty stuff, non-issues.


Uh, that's pretty cold. I mean, if you and your spouse are both low in physical affection needs, that's fine, but, for people for whom physical affection is a primary love language (which is a lot of, if not most, men), just refusing to stop for a minute to acknowledge your spouse like this is like starving your relationship of air. I mean, there are times that it might be impractical to drop everything at that very moment (but, still come back within 5 or 10 minutes), but if you can't stop and greet your life partner with a quick hug, you're too busy or have misplaced priorities.


I’m the original poster with the hug issue. Her love language is “Acts of Service” and I try to provide that daily. I get up before she does to make her (or go out and purchase favorite) coffee, even when it means changing my sleep schedule. I ask her daily if there’s anything I can take off of her calender, run errands, wash her car, even the mundane daily stuff (cooking, cleaning, homework, etc). I’m sure you can shoot anything I say full of holes but the point is that I’m teying to give her what she needs and proactively asking. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t WANT to do that stuff (aside from helping my kid with HW, which I enjoy). I do it because I recognize that’s the way she wants to be loved.

As the previous poster stated, my love language is physical affection. And, am I asking for her to put the same amount of minutes/hours in that I do for her? Ansolutely not, that would be unreasonable. But what if instead of the hour a day (or whatever it is) that I’m putting in doing thoughtful things to help out, she gives back 5 minutes? Maybe in the form of a hug, a hand on the shoulder, hell, I’d take anything that wasn’t provided by the dog.


You're a keep track type person, and a little needy.

Tell her you how you feel. Maybe you can compromise, try for 2 times a week. And don't minimize your dog's affection, they are part of the family.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2019 10:38     Subject: Re:Husbands, what little things do you wish your wives would stop/change?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sleeping in
Pretending to be busy
Lack of cooking dinner


She can't sleep in? Why?

Maybe she is busy. How is that taking away from you??

Does she work? If so I would take the hint it's your turn to cook dinner.


Yet another example of "bitter wives criticizing any complaints and womansplaing why the wife was doing the crappy or inconsiderate thing."
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2019 10:36     Subject: Re:Husbands, what little things do you wish your wives would stop/change?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Clutter doesn’t bother her. Stuff is all over the place.
Always leaves used tissues sitting around. Every morning there is one on the kitchen counter.
Never puts a new soap bar in the shower.
Won’t allow anything but a penis to go into her V.


She doesn’t know what she’s missing!


So very true - my DH’s P will not go into my V until other things have been there first otherwise no O for me.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2019 10:31     Subject: Re:Husbands, what little things do you wish your wives would stop/change?
Anonymous wrote:Sleeping in
Pretending to be busy
Lack of cooking dinner


She can't sleep in? Why?

Maybe she is busy. How is that taking away from you??

Does she work? If so I would take the hint it's your turn to cook dinner.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2019 10:12     Subject: Husbands, what little things do you wish your wives would stop/change?
Why are women responding? Way to ruin the thread.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2019 10:09     Subject: Husbands, what little things do you wish your wives would stop/change?
Anonymous wrote:Love how this started as a topic for mend to respond with things they'd change about their wives but morphed into bitter wives criticizing any complaints and womansplaing why the wife was doing the crappy or inconsiderate thing.


DCUM Rule #1: Any problem in a marriage or relationship is always 100% the man's fault.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2019 10:04     Subject: Husbands, what little things do you wish your wives would stop/change?
Anonymous wrote:Love how this started as a topic for mend to respond with things they'd change about their wives but morphed into bitter wives criticizing any complaints and womansplaing why the wife was doing the crappy or inconsiderate thing.


+1