Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is an example of something more selfish?

Staying with an abuser; letting your abuser abuse your kids

As a child who grew up in DV, I agree. My dad was also unfaithful but his hurting my mom in front of us was the bigger trauma.

The other piece is the parent who stays, but is utterly checked out. They might or might not contribute financially. A friend’s mom spent 15 years on a sofa, getting up only to use the bathroom and shower. She was likely depressed, but she made no effort to seek treatment despite living blocks from a world renowned hospital.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex wife had an affair and I let her work know. They yanked her clearance. Totally torpedo'd her professionally.

So, now you pay more alimony and child support? Smart move.

Alimony? What century do you live in?

I don't get the vengeful people. I really don't, especially where you have kids. Note: Your spouse cheated on you, not your kids. And for those of you who decided to ruin your spouse's career, how does that work out with the need for child support, alimony, etc.? I'm pretty sure it's counterproductive to kill the source of income. My STBX - who is the one who cheated (and cheating is the least of the reasons we are getting divorced) - always used to threaten to do things to undermine my security clearance. I always pointed out, well good luck in keeping the house, your car, etc. in such a case. And, since I had texts from her attesting to her desire to be a vengeful b*tch, it put her in a worse light vis-a-vis the divorce. She was simply stupid. She was angry I was divorcing her and decided to act on the anger. Put you emotions aside people. Relationships fail for any number of reasons. Put on your big girl or big boy pants, get what is legally yours, be civil - hell even be magnanimus - and you will have a better and happier future. Good luck!