Anonymous wrote:My FIL would says horrible things about women in general. Like "all women should be beat." When I went to the gym, he said to my husband, "it's like she has a boyfriend or something" (I have always worked out).

Earlier this year, he picked a fight with me about directions. I said three times I was not having a conversation about it. Then he physically approached me with his iPad (after I said I don't want to see your iPad) and continued to engage (which I felt to be bullying me in my own house). My husband sat there and said nothing. I yelled at my FIL "I am not having this conversation!" and left the room.

Afterward, he instructed his wife, which she did, when I said "sorry for yelling. safe travels" in a text message to him to respond to me with an awful text message back to me criticizing my parents, comparing me to my mentally ill mother and making unwarranted and untrue comments about my husband and I.

Immediately when they left, my husband threatened me with a a divorce (not the first time). I really do want one now. I am not visiting them for Christmas and told my husband I never intend to see them again.

Yikes! I hope things chill out and your husband is a better advocate for you.

My FIL would says horrible things about women in general. Like "all women should be beat." When I went to the gym, he said to my husband, "it's like she has a boyfriend or something" (I have always worked out).

Earlier this year, he picked a fight with me about directions. I said three times I was not having a conversation about it. Then he physically approached me with his iPad (after I said I don't want to see your iPad) and continued to engage (which I felt to be bullying me in my own house). My husband sat there and said nothing. I yelled at my FIL "I am not having this conversation!" and left the room.

Afterward, he instructed his wife, which she did, when I said "sorry for yelling. safe travels" in a text message to him to respond to me with an awful text message back to me criticizing my parents, comparing me to my mentally ill mother and making unwarranted and untrue comments about my husband and I.

Immediately when they left, my husband threatened me with a a divorce (not the first time). I really do want one now. I am not visiting them for Christmas and told my husband I never intend to see them again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering if the pregnancy/birth drama is caused by MILs who had awful pregnancy and birth experiences. My FIL was never present for their births (by his choice), so MIL has a real chip on her shoulder. I bet the other MILs might have the same thing going on.

You're probably onto something. I know my MIL had a bad birth experience. But she's had almost 40 years to seek therapy and get over it. If birth and newborns give her PTSD that materializes as raging narcissism, she should have just graciously stayed in her Grendel-cave instead of coming to terrorize my house.

X1000000

Anonymous wrote:Dh family is greek and I am not and MIL is very sad about this. We have been married almost 20 years. She recently called DH to tell him that one of his old girlfriends who is greek recently got divorced and is now available -- in case he wanted to leave me and get back together with her. You can't make this stuff up!! Too funny!! We just laugh at her crazy antics!!

How terrible! I’m glad you and DH have good perspective about it!

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering if the pregnancy/birth drama is caused by MILs who had awful pregnancy and birth experiences. My FIL was never present for their births (by his choice), so MIL has a real chip on her shoulder. I bet the other MILs might have the same thing going on.

It’s true in my case. I ended up on hospital bed rest at 28 weeks. DH called his parents to tell them and he knew it would be hard because they lost a child just a few days after birth. He didn’t want to hurt them but he felt he should tell them. The reaction was absolutely terrible. I was laying in the hospital bed with ten tubes pumping me full of drugs and I could hear his father ripping him to shreds through the phone about how he was softpedaling, not telling them the whole truth, that the baby would probably die and he was in denial. It was awful. I was in hospital for 7 weeks and they barely spoke to us. DH asked them to come for the birth (c section) and they declined.

Dh family is greek and I am not and MIL is very sad about this. We have been married almost 20 years. She recently called DH to tell him that one of his old girlfriends who is greek recently got divorced and is now available -- in case he wanted to leave me and get back together with her. You can't make this stuff up!! Too funny!! We just laugh at her crazy antics!!

My ILs are generally very nice to me. My MIL, in particular, is very respectful -- she said she learned through her experience with HER MIL!

FIL tries to proselytize to me whenever we see each other; he can't understand why someone wouldn't be a born again Christian, or why they would be another religion let alone atheist. The last time I told him that I did not want to offend him and was afraid that no matter what I said he would be offended (there is no room in any of these discussions to share my point of view -- it's always seen as belittling or an attack).

My FIL, however, has not been kind to my BIL, who is gay and came out to his family many years ago. FIL, who is 85, says that he doesn't "accept his lifestyle" (as if being gay is a lifestyle choice). They apparently had a huge argument this year and were not on speaking terms. I love BIL and his husband very much and whenever we see them we commiserate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They threw away my favorite old mug that was missing the handle.

Why did u want to keep That?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/767874.page
Bravo, PP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My H told them (after 2 years of therapy) he was raped by his older cousin from 5-11 and added he would not come to holidays if he was attending.

His parents invited us to a Xmas eve dinner and after a 2 hour drive on Xmas eve with our children, when we arrived "the family" approached us at the door and said "family is family" and the rapist was coming and we needed to get over it.

We left and I have never and will never speak to them EVER again.

Today my MIL will spend Thanksgiving with her son's rapist and all his apologists.

They make me sick to think of them ALL.

Oh wow. This is horrifying.

Terrible. I'm so sorry for your husband, pp. how awful of his parents, too.

Anonymous wrote:They threw away my favorite old mug that was missing the handle.

Why did u want to keep That?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"First you steal my son away, now you won't give me grandchildren! You're so selfish!"

So, among other things that have occurred/been said, I keep my distance.

Do we have the same MIL? I know that is impossible as my DH is an only child, but the words are almost verbatim.

I think I had one of these, which I never understood. Never learned to drive, expected everyone to drop everything to fix her house, take her to the store, etc. Never a card when we were married, nor a gift or on holidays. The excuse was their family was just too big. Ok fine, but no acknowledgement of a baby announcement? Every Mothers Day she expected to be taken to the nice restaurant by all her kids regardless if they were married with their own families. That last Mother's Day I made sure to let everyone know WE were expecting. A very gossipy family, it made the rounds at the restaurant around the large table we reserved. Definitely stole her thunder, but I would think she would have been happy.
Why are some of these MILs so jealous instead of embracing their new family members? It's a lesson NOT to behave that way because it only alienates.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Context: both DH and I are Indian; our parents are Hindu

This is just the stuff related to our wedding. So much more that I could on about.

Sorry, and no, no relationship. I say hi and bye at any events. Make it a point to never be alone in a room with them. DH barely tolerates them. Thanksgiving was spent ignoring the daggers that I saw everytime I looked up from whatever I was doing.

Sounds like a fun group and good times!

Anonymous wrote:Context: both DH and I are Indian; our parents are Hindu

This is just the stuff related to our wedding. So much more that I could on about.

Sorry, and no, no relationship. I say hi and bye at any events. Make it a point to never be alone in a room with them. DH barely tolerates them. Thanksgiving was spent ignoring the daggers that I saw everytime I looked up from whatever I was doing.

Anonymous wrote:My H told them (after 2 years of therapy) he was raped by his older cousin from 5-11 and added he would not come to holidays if he was attending.

His parents invited us to a Xmas eve dinner and after a 2 hour drive on Xmas eve with our children, when we arrived "the family" approached us at the door and said "family is family" and the rapist was coming and we needed to get over it.

We left and I have never and will never speak to them EVER again.

Today my MIL will spend Thanksgiving with her son's rapist and all his apologists.

They make me sick to think of them ALL.

Oh wow. This is horrifying.

Context: both DH and I are Indian; our parents are Hindu

- threw an engagement party for me and DH and physically dragged me around their house during the party telling me to touch all of their friends’ feet (they said it was a custom in their family; later found out the custom is not for women, and definitely not physically something to be forced upon someone)

- at the wedding ceremony brought this weird head covering for DH to wear and then a fabric head covering for me that they put on during the ceremony that covered both of our heads even though I asked beforehand if there were any customs they wanted to follow and they said nothing. All of our wedding pictures are ruined.

- drove down their own priest to our wedding hosted by my parents - he grabbed the mike from the priest that my parents hired to do the ceremony after it was over and started chanting in Sanskrit (guests and all of us were horrified)

- at the wedding reception hosted by my parents told the dj that it was DH’s mother’s birthday that day and that he should make an announcement to sing her happy birthday (he did and guests proceeded to sing her happy birthday at our reception)

- took one of the wedding gifts that was meant for me and DH and texted me to send a thank you note for it

This is just the stuff related to our wedding. So much more that I could on about.