Anonymous
11/27/2018 10:28
Subject: Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
You should find out who was talking about you or if that is your supervisor’s assumption.
Anonymous
11/27/2018 10:17
Subject: Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yikes! Bad follow up op.
Mine was similar in that they kept nagging me but it was that they wanted me to bring my baby by for an hour or so and that was just not happening. Nope. I play nice at work, but when I'm on unpaid maternity leave I'm not bringing my baby by for your enjoyment.
WTF?
Why on earth would anyone need your baby "for an hour or so"? This almost sounds like a cult.
To go from cubicle to cubicle with all the older women holding her. And then out to lunch. I have an old, primarily female workplace.
Most new parents in my organization do the same thing by bringing the baby in to visit. People in my organization feel invested in the new baby and love the opportunity to see the baby, hold it and coo. It breeds goodwill among coworkers by allowing them some facetime with the new baby. We are 50/50 men and women. Some of the men get more excited than the women about a baby coming to visit.
You are not entitled to meet someone's baby. I don't care about goodwill amongst my coworkers during flu season. If we were friends it would be different.
Sweetie, where did I say we forced them to do this? Where did I say that we felt it was our right?
It is our culture. The new parents are really thrilled to do it and take the "baby walk" as one new dad (his wife is our colleague) called it. Obviously in our organization you would not be a good fit. That's okay with me.
Anonymous
11/27/2018 09:26
Subject: Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yikes! Bad follow up op.
Mine was similar in that they kept nagging me but it was that they wanted me to bring my baby by for an hour or so and that was just not happening. Nope. I play nice at work, but when I'm on unpaid maternity leave I'm not bringing my baby by for your enjoyment.
WTF?
Why on earth would anyone need your baby "for an hour or so"? This almost sounds like a cult.
To go from cubicle to cubicle with all the older women holding her. And then out to lunch. I have an old, primarily female workplace.
Most new parents in my organization do the same thing by bringing the baby in to visit. People in my organization feel invested in the new baby and love the opportunity to see the baby, hold it and coo. It breeds goodwill among coworkers by allowing them some facetime with the new baby. We are 50/50 men and women. Some of the men get more excited than the women about a baby coming to visit.
You are not entitled to meet someone's baby. I don't care about goodwill amongst my coworkers during flu season. If we were friends it would be different.
Anonymous
11/27/2018 07:56
Subject: Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am not an employment attorney but have familiarity in this area. I’d suggest you send boss an email ASAP and copy your HR manager. Say something like “This is to follow up to the phone conference held at your request on [date], x days after the birth of my child. You asked me if I was returning from maternity leave or would be tendering my resignation. Further, you advised me of the availability of benefits such as Cobra in the event of the termination of my employment.
As I told you during our phone call, I have no present intention of tendering my resignation. I would greatly appreciate it if you would refrain from scheduling further phone calls during my FMLA. If there are any further questions, please send an email. I will do my best to respond in due course.”
PS good wording
I would drop present intention and just say not planning to resign.
NP here. I disagree. I think the original wording is important. OP does not want to get herself into any legal trouble should she find a new job anytime in the next year. If a good job comes along later in her maternity leave or within the first six months after returning, she has the option of resigning without any cause and she will not have mislead the employer or boss. If she eliminates that and sometime between now and her return to work, she gets an offer from another employer who had her resume on file or has a similar position to one she already applied for, she could get herself into trouble for having lied or mislead the employer by stating that she was not planning to resign.
And FYI, I looked up the guidelines for FMLA and found the following:
https://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/employeeguide.pdf
Page 8:
Communication with Your Employer
You will need to inform your employer if your need for FMLA leave changes while you are out (for example, if your doctor determines that you can return to work earlier than expected). Your employer may also require you to provide periodic updates on your status and your intent to return to work.
So the boss is not completely out-of-line for her request. However, her methods of communicating with OP are shady. If this were above-board, she would have had no issue with sending an email and/or leaving the request on VM for OP. But the fact that she went out of her way to inconvenience OP just so that there was no documentation of the call, suggests that she was not following company policy or was not authorized to make such a request. Had this request come through HR, it could have been seen as just protecting the company in the event that OP was considering changing employers.
Present intent makes it sound like she is planning on leaving ASAP amd makes her manager’s fears look legitimate. An email is not a binding contract, it is fine for her to say she plans on returning, since she does as the time the email is being sent.
Anonymous
11/27/2018 07:54
Subject: Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yikes! Bad follow up op.
Mine was similar in that they kept nagging me but it was that they wanted me to bring my baby by for an hour or so and that was just not happening. Nope. I play nice at work, but when I'm on unpaid maternity leave I'm not bringing my baby by for your enjoyment.
WTF?
Why on earth would anyone need your baby "for an hour or so"? This almost sounds like a cult.
To go from cubicle to cubicle with all the older women holding her. And then out to lunch. I have an old, primarily female workplace.
Most new parents in my organization do the same thing by bringing the baby in to visit. People in my organization feel invested in the new baby and love the opportunity to see the baby, hold it and coo. It breeds goodwill among coworkers by allowing them some facetime with the new baby. We are 50/50 men and women. Some of the men get more excited than the women about a baby coming to visit.
Anonymous
11/27/2018 07:50
Subject: Re:Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
I think it is very good that you finally took the call, OP. Now you know the lay of the land. Imagine if you had continued to try to avoid it. You would have no idea that this was swirling around in your boss's mind. I'm glad that you listened to prior DCUM advice and did what you needed to do. Now follow it again. You're getting some great advice about what to do and whom to contact. Document everything. Remain circumspect in your contacts. Remember the lesson you've learned about telling colleagues about interviewing. Continue to assert in writing that you are returning. Be a stickler about making sure that you follow the rules for FMLA and your leave. Escalate your search for another job. Good luck.
Anonymous
11/26/2018 23:06
Subject: Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yikes! Bad follow up op.
Mine was similar in that they kept nagging me but it was that they wanted me to bring my baby by for an hour or so and that was just not happening. Nope. I play nice at work, but when I'm on unpaid maternity leave I'm not bringing my baby by for your enjoyment.
WTF?
Why on earth would anyone need your baby "for an hour or so"? This almost sounds like a cult.
To go from cubicle to cubicle with all the older women holding her. And then out to lunch. I have an old, primarily female workplace.
Anonymous
11/26/2018 23:05
Subject: Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
Anonymous wrote:Yikes! Bad follow up op.
Mine was similar in that they kept nagging me but it was that they wanted me to bring my baby by for an hour or so and that was just not happening. Nope. I play nice at work, but when I'm on unpaid maternity leave I'm not bringing my baby by for your enjoyment.
WTF?
Why on earth would anyone need your baby "for an hour or so"? This almost sounds like a cult.
Anonymous
11/26/2018 22:24
Subject: Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
Yikes! Bad follow up op.
Mine was similar in that they kept nagging me but it was that they wanted me to bring my baby by for an hour or so and that was just not happening. Nope. I play nice at work, but when I'm on unpaid maternity leave I'm not bringing my baby by for your enjoyment.
Mine was similar in that they kept nagging me but it was that they wanted me to bring my baby by for an hour or so and that was just not happening. Nope. I play nice at work, but when I'm on unpaid maternity leave I'm not bringing my baby by for your enjoyment.
Anonymous
11/26/2018 22:05
Subject: Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
Wow! I am so sorry you have to deal with this while on maternity leave. How stressful! I am no expert of anything, but I would follow up with an email ASAP to remind her you are coming back and confirm the date - cc HR. Ask her to confirm receipt.
I would probably then follow up with HR via phone to confirm. And then send them another email documenting that conversation.
While I was on maternity leave I sent an email every few weeks just to confirm and remind my boss when I was returning - you know a quick touch base how are things and I hope the report and strategy are going well. I’ll see you on March 1st and look forward to jumping right back in.
Good luck. I hope you find another position soon!
I would probably then follow up with HR via phone to confirm. And then send them another email documenting that conversation.
While I was on maternity leave I sent an email every few weeks just to confirm and remind my boss when I was returning - you know a quick touch base how are things and I hope the report and strategy are going well. I’ll see you on March 1st and look forward to jumping right back in.
Good luck. I hope you find another position soon!
Anonymous
11/26/2018 21:42
Subject: Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's really annoying that she is pestering you while on mat leave. However, what is so hard about talking on the phone for 45 mins to an hr?
Have you ever had a baby? Mine didn’t sleep for more than 30 minutes at a stretch for monnnnnnths.
Anonymous
11/26/2018 20:10
Subject: Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
Yes, it's really annoying that she is pestering you while on mat leave. However, what is so hard about talking on the phone for 45 mins to an hr?
Anonymous
11/26/2018 17:13
Subject: Re:Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
I think you really would benefit from specific and private legal advice, and of course you should be frank with your counsel about any prior conversations.
THIS. I am a former lawyer (not labor and employment). There could be any number of things going on here - from constructive discharge (making conditions so miserable you are basically forced to quit) to your manager being a jerk. One would hope that HR would do the right thing, but PPs are right - in general, HR works for the company, not you. It's probably a good idea that HR receive notification in some way, but I'd talk to a lawyer first.
The wording of an email as suggested by PPs is good. I'd probably run it by an attorney first to keep it as bare bones as possible so that you aren't seen as promising anything to your employer if things change before your maternity leave is up. And when you get back, you may also be facing poor treatment based on you taking maternity leave. I watched my SIL go through that. She stuck around her firm for over a decade, passed over for partner and marginalized until they finally "dissolved her group" and she was let go. She should have come at them with both barrels from the get go, obtained a settlement, left town, and moved on.
Anonymous
11/26/2018 16:05
Subject: Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
Anonymous wrote:
So the boss is not completely out-of-line for her request. However, her methods of communicating with OP are shady. If this were above-board, she would have had no issue with sending an email and/or leaving the request on VM for OP. But the fact that she went out of her way to inconvenience OP just so that there was no documentation of the call, suggests that she was not following company policy or was not authorized to make such a request. Had this request come through HR, it could have been seen as just protecting the company in the event that OP was considering changing employers.
I'm talking with a tin-hat here, but OP you should screen shoot your call log that includes the date and the length of the call.
DP. Better safe than sorry.
Also save the personal email correspondence back and forth setting up the call.
Anonymous
11/26/2018 15:01
Subject: Re:Boss keeps bugging me on maternity leave
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update.
I spoke to my boss on the phone. She said that she “had it on good authority” that I’m not planning to return to my job after maternity leave, and she wanted to tell me to please resign as soon as possible so she could hire my replacement.
I told her this is simply not true-I don’t have another job and I do intend to return after my leave, but of course if that were to change I will let her know promptly so she can move forward with hiring my replacement.
She straight up didn’t believe me and gave me a lecture on cobra, benefits, etc.
I’ve been in this job over 5 years and am a top performer.
Wow!
If you are indeed planning on returning, I would follow up with an email to her and carbon copy human resources.
Yes, this is incredibly inappropriate (and illegal? Lawyers?). I'd definitely alert HR and let them handle her.
+1 Copy HR into this, and if they don't respond appropriately, you may want to use part of your maternity leave to contact an employment attorney.