Here's my beef with social media for tween girls in general: I was an attractive enough but slightly overweight tween/teen girl. I'm too old to have had social media in school but I remember seeing other girls on magazines and tv and just feeling so bad about myself because I didn't fit that mold that pop culture perpetuated as "ideal." Many of you reading this probably remember feeling like this too. It was damaging.

Today, kids have these pop culture machines in their pockets. And they check them literally all day, every day. Can you imagine the psycho-social effects of being absolutely bombarded with Kardashians and fake eyelashes and Brazilian butt lifts and fake lips etc... EVERY SINGLE TIME you pick up your phone, which is probably multiple times per half or or hour? It's astounding.

I don't have girls, but I was curious about this and checked out the followers of some of my nieces and my son's tween girlfriends who follow me on social media (yep, they follow me). It was heartbreaking. These sweet, beautiful, totally normal girls, so many of whom follow 1,000+ accounts and half of those at least are vapid caricatures of what 13 year olds think women are. I got down a rabbit hole and went to Instagram sites of people like the Kardashian sisters, the Hadid sisters, and also women like Amanda Gorman and Kamala Harris and Greta Thunberg. Guess what: these young ladies follow ALL of them because they are good at consuming media. Know which posts they reliably, always like? The Kardashians et al (you can tell, because if your friends like posts of shared followers, you see those likes first). You know whose posts they aren't liking? I'll let you guess. They probably aren't even seeing the worthwhile substantive women in their feeds, because you know, algorithms.

Bullying is real, and it's scary, and it's terrible, and we should do something about preventing it. But it may not reach your daughters.

This stuff? Guarantee it reaches 4/5 girls.

It is so toxic and so sad.

This is not a free speech issue.

When I was in high school we did this in an "underground newspaper."

In the Victorian era, there were gossip publications.

Nothing new at all.

Anonymous wrote:free speech

This makes you sound so very uninformed and dim.

No, you do not have the right to unbridled, uninhibited "free speech." You ARE protected from government curbs or punishment for most CONTENT of your speech (within certain parameters: you don't have free rein to produce and disburse content consisting of defamation, child pornography, threats of violence and the like, or misleading advertising). Most CONTENT: there is nothing in the Constitution that guarantees the right to speak whenever and wherever the spirit moves you, which is what you appear to believe "freedom of speech means." No. You are not permitted to physically shriek or babble (or Instagram) any of your ideas at any time or place.

And the First Amendment restrains only the government and its officials from curbing the content of your speech: it doesn't pertain to private organizations, such as your employer or Instagram, etc., or your employer.

I am sorry the eduction system failed you so badly.

Email a link thew school counselor and principal. It is considered a form of harassment and it it reflects on the school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade daughter told me that some anonymous kid started an Instagram page called “ insert school name here” tea. Kids send in gossip about other kids and the senders name is removed. Pretty much every kid in the school follows it. This is horrifying and i think this might actually be common for other schools. The sad thing is that I don’t think there’s anything that can really be done to stop it.

This is literally a worldwide thing kids do. I learned alllll about it from our German Aupair. Many of these groups are hidden.

And it's not knew. There was a thread on this several years ago.

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade daughter told me that some anonymous kid started an Instagram page called “ insert school name here” tea. Kids send in gossip about other kids and the senders name is removed. Pretty much every kid in the school follows it. This is horrifying and i think this might actually be common for other schools. The sad thing is that I don’t think there’s anything that can really be done to stop it.

This is literally a worldwide thing kids do. I learned alllll about it from our German Aupair. Many of these groups are hidden.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do minors have a right to free speech?

Yes, minors have constitutional rights. However, in the school setting (even public school), the school's (i.e., government's) interest often trumps the individual's, especially when protecting other students. Plus, the right to free speech, even for adults, is not absolute.

Plus, Instagram isn’t a governmental entity. So it can absolutely ban under 13s