Anonymous wrote:Woman here and I agree that alimony is ridiculous. There's no reason any person on God's green earth shouldn't be able to support themselves once divorced.

My ex BIL insisted that my sister quit her job when they got married. She has only a HS diploma and was a receptionist; he has an MBA From an Ivy and his career in investment banking was just taking off. The first 8 years of their marriage no kids. My sister spent a significant amount of time entertaining his business associates and holding down the fort while he’d be gone weeks at a time traveling internationally for work. The second 8 years they had two kids, both with autism, one of whom will probably never be able to live on own. In addition to continuing what she did the first 8 years, she spent/spends much her day taking their two kids to their various therapies. He had a long term affair and filed for divorce. My sister damn well deserves and should get alimony. The most she can work is a few hours at pretty much a minimum wage job during the school day while the kids are at school and the weekends they’re with their dad. Meanwhile he now earns $5M a year, still travels a lot and has little time for his special needs kids.

Anonymous wrote:My husband pays his greedy ex $5k a month. makes six figures and has a pension. She wanted more and still asks for money.

your husband was dumb enough to not get a better attorney and divorce settlement.

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t you women receiving alimony embarrassed to be accepting money from an ex? It’s pathetic to me to be reliant on a man who you’re not even with to get by. I’m a woman, too, and I’d rather starve than accept thousands of dollars a month from a dude I’m not even with. I’d never tell anyone that I was getting money from him.

Okay, second wife. We get it. You resent her and the money.

Aren’t you women receiving alimony embarrassed to be accepting money from an ex? It’s pathetic to me to be reliant on a man who you’re not even with to get by. I’m a woman, too, and I’d rather starve than accept thousands of dollars a month from a dude I’m not even with. I’d never tell anyone that I was getting money from him.

Anonymous wrote:Yes I’m sure you would have rushed right out and

Your entire post is so easily debunked!

Anonymous wrote:supported your kids after a decade out of the workplace

Child support is totally separate from alimony.

Anonymous wrote:and no signifigant retirement

Retirement gets split 50/50 upon divorce, and is also totally separate from alimony.

Anonymous wrote:and just jump into full time caring for kids and full time supporting them financially? After being a sahm to a man who has little custody (I and most sahm I know got 60-80% custody).

50/50 custody is standard today. But again, you are talking about child support (not alimony), and guess what? CS is based on custody!

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t sound like that might make kids suffer at all? My alimony is $7k and my CS $5k. My mortgage is $4000. I’m incredibly lucky to have found a job where I’m making a lot of money-

Glad you have found a worthy job. Your alimony should now be reduced, given that you are able to support yourself.

Anonymous wrote:which I’m banking hard in the years of alimony to preserve and grow back the cash I had to pay him to buyout the house

Here you go again confusing the normal 50/50 split of assets that is expected in all divorces, with a totally different thing, alimony, that is not warranted in most cases.

Anonymous wrote:so my three kids could have a place to live he’s too busy being a drunk to care.

It is unfortunate that your ex husband is a drunk. But that has nothing to do with alimony.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get $13,000 a month. Married 23 years. I worked part time.

These are exactly the kinds of unjust and offensive awards that modern alimony reforms are eliminating. Unless you are severely disabled, there is absolutely zero reason that you don’t have a fulltime job.

Actually, there are 13,000 reasons.

Pride be damned!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here and I agree that alimony is ridiculous. There's no reason any person on God's green earth shouldn't be able to support themselves once divorced.

And women who had scaled back work or stayed home when their kids were small, thus sacrificing career advancement, including salary increases? Ever read “The Price of Motherhood”?

You made that choice knowing it might bite you in the ass in the future. Team No Alimony

WE made the choice to have children. We did not make the choice to have special needs children.

Yes I’m sure you would have rushed right out and supported your kids after a decade out of the workplace and no signifigant retirement and just jump into full time caring for kids and full time supporting them financially? After being a sahm to a man who has little custody (I and most sahm I know got 60-80% custody).


Doesn’t sound like that might make kids suffer at all? My alimony is $7k and my CS $5k. My mortgage is $4000. I’m incredibly lucky to have found a job where I’m making a lot of money- which I’m banking hard in the years of alimony to preserve and grow back the cash I had to pay him to buyout the house so my three kids could have a place to live he’s too busy being a drunk to care.

Alimony is a scam. Child support, get as much as you can. It's for your kids. I'll be damned I'm going to get a paycheck from my ex husband years after we've split though. Jesus.

She's* the one that makes six figures

My husband pays his greedy ex $5k a month. makes six figures and has a pension. She wanted more and still asks for money.

Wow. There is a lot of bitterness on this thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get $13,000 a month. Married 23 years. I worked part time.

These are exactly the kinds of unjust and offensive awards that modern alimony reforms are eliminating. Unless you are severely disabled, there is absolutely zero reason that you don’t have a fulltime job.

I said I worked part time while married.

What do you do now to earn $13k/month from his salary. Sounds like he gave you a pretty cushy life for 23 years.

It's not hard to figure out - she was accustomed to living a certain way, wanted the perks that life has to offer and $13k per month is in line with her expectations.

and LOL at making up for ALL the years she was in the background supporting the family when she could have been making much more. That is absurd logic. Do you also believe there's a gender gap with wages, too?

Who knows, maybe he dealt with years of her insufferable nagging while she was a SAHM or showering her with all the nice things life has to offer with his top salary.? There are many ways to skin that cat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get $13,000 a month. Married 23 years. I worked part time.

These are exactly the kinds of unjust and offensive awards that modern alimony reforms are eliminating. Unless you are severely disabled, there is absolutely zero reason that you don’t have a fulltime job.

I said I worked part time while married.

And now you work full time? And why exactly do you deserve $156K/year from a former spouse?

If she is getting $156K after tax from her ex, he is making significant money. For 23 years, do you think she did nothing to contribute to his financial success at work?

Explain how her contributions were so extraordinary that now, and for who knows how many years more, he must continue working an obviously stressful demanding job (one that previously required massive support from his ex-wife, but now he somehow is expected to make do without). Meanwhile she can sit home eating snacks and cashing his checks?

Sorry but this is a perversion and we should all be glad these archaic laws are being reformed, state by state, across the country

Because for 23 years, she supported him in the background. She may have been a SAHM or had the lower paying, more flexible job. At the time, there was an inherent agreement that both people were working towards the common goal. Once they got to retirement and old age, they would be able to join the fruits of their labor.

Now, as they approach retirement, he has all the money. She has not been on the fast track and perhaps her skills are not what they could be. Perhaps it would have been better during the marriage if she asked for $100K/yr to invest. Then, today, there wouldn't be the need for alimony.

I don't agree with alimony. But I also don't agree that a married person is successful on their own. They have to take of those who took care of them. Perhaps in lieu of monthly alimony, there could be a one time lump sum payment that would acknowledge her contributions to the marriage for 23 yrs.

I'm guessing she always wanted newer / bigger / better and spent his money like crazy, or pouted and whined. Then, I bet she nagged him to make more, or spend less time at work, or pay more attention to her little hobbies and feelings. In short, she probably got in his way, rather than contribute to his success. Carryout is cheap, as are maid services; hardly worth millions of bucks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get $13,000 a month. Married 23 years. I worked part time.

These are exactly the kinds of unjust and offensive awards that modern alimony reforms are eliminating. Unless you are severely disabled, there is absolutely zero reason that you don’t have a fulltime job.

I said I worked part time while married.

What do you do now to earn $13k/month from his salary. Sounds like he gave you a pretty cushy life for 23 years.