taketothebank wrote:For the single moms - what is preventing your exDH (or child's father) from spending time with his kid and giving you some free time?

My daughter lived with me when we got divorced (she was a senior in high school.) I found time to date even with going to every sporting event, helping out with fundrasing and school stuff, etc. Now, she could drive and that made a HUGE impact.

I have dated single moms who were still tied to driving kids and the driving seemed to be the hardest part (i.e., they had trouble making plans for an evening since they would need to drive their DS/DD someplace during the evening.) But you could have fun waiting for that time and fun afterward.

taketothebank wrote:For the single moms - what is preventing your exDH (or child's father) from spending time with his kid and giving you some free time?

Anonymous wrote:I'm 35, single, with a 9yo DD. In theory, I'd like to meet another single dad, but I've had better success with single men without kids. DD is with Dad every weekend so I actually have quite a bit of free time each week. I met a single dad who had his DD every weekend. In addition to our schedules being incompatible, I felt he used his DD as an alibi sometimes. That really annoyed me as a single parent, because it illustrates why childless people are sometimes guarded with us. I was in a relationship with a single dad this year and thought, finally, someone who gets it. He had primary custody of his girls. I later found out that he had a son that he hadn't mentioned from outside of his marriage.

It's been MUCH easier to date single guys without kids and that's primarily what I've always attracted. However, the older I get, the less open I am to having another kid. The guys I've dated who were serious about settling down longterm were those who wanted to start a family vice remarry.

taketothebank wrote:For the single moms - what is preventing your exDH (or child's father) from spending time with his kid and giving you some free time?

My daughter lived with me when we got divorced (she was a senior in high school.) I found time to date even with going to every sporting event, helping out with fundrasing and school stuff, etc. Now, she could drive and that made a HUGE impact.

I have dated single moms who were still tied to driving kids and the driving seemed to be the hardest part (i.e., they had trouble making plans for an evening since they would need to drive their DS/DD someplace during the evening.) But you could have fun waiting for that time and fun afterward.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 35, single, with a 9yo DD. In theory, I'd like to meet another single dad, but I've had better success with single men without kids. DD is with Dad every weekend so I actually have quite a bit of free time each week. I met a single dad who had his DD every weekend. In addition to our schedules being incompatible, I felt he used his DD as an alibi sometimes. That really annoyed me as a single parent, because it illustrates why childless people are sometimes guarded with us. I was in a relationship with a single dad this year and thought, finally, someone who gets it. He had primary custody of his girls. I later found out that he had a son that he hadn't mentioned from outside of his marriage.

It's been MUCH easier to date single guys without kids and that's primarily what I've always attracted. However, the older I get, the less open I am to having another kid. The guys I've dated who were serious about settling down longterm were those who wanted to start a family vice remarry.

Anonymous wrote:So, single mom did you get a date yet?

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Anonymous wrote:All: don't give up. Once you meet someone, be upfront. Share that your kids come first, and that if they aren't up for the journey, then they can hit the road. As a single father in his 30's, I'd understand. With my career, 50% custody, and all the other intricacies of my life, I'd totally understand. Out time is limited.

Can I ask you something?
I am a single mom of 3, work fulltime and have full custody. So my plate is really full. Only thing I miss is physical intimacy.
With my stats, I only expect to find a few times a month NSA type of arrangement with a guy. What decent man would go for that? And if so, why?

Before I answer, would you be open to a real relationship? Or are you only interested in a fwb because of your "full plate?"

Back to answer your question. Would love a partner who truly loves me but I can also accept that such may not happen for me.
FWB may be all I can hope for. I have not tested if I am made for such arrangement because deep down I am a relationship person.

Now I don't know if I even answered your question ...

You answered it, sorta. I wouldn't say "such may not happen to me" because you never know. You seem to have a lot going for you, with the kiddos, the full time gig, and all your other responsibilities. Men like independent women.

If you have a FWB, stick with him long term. Some FWB relationships have great potential for LTR's. Just make sure you select a FWB that has personality, is employed, and is a great lay.

As I mentioned previously, women that have been married and have children, have a different take on life. They are more mature, bold, and don't beat around the bush. Some men love this in the women they date.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind of O/T but what do people think of single moms priorities other things (dating, career etc) over their children? Do we think that's great they're also focusing on themselves? Or do we judge and think they're a bad parent?

It isn't either/or. A good person can do all of the above.