Anonymous wrote:DD (12) came home today from a 13th bday sleepover with pink hair, her nails done, slept in makeup, and gushing about the fun mocktails they were served.

The invite didn’t list any of these things. It listed that they were going to dinner, to see Jurassic World (was fine with) and then getting Duck Donuts. When I dropped her off yesterday morning and spoke with the bday girl’s mom, she said the plan was to spend most of the day playing in their backyard pool and doing fun girlie things like makeovers.

I took that to mean the girls doing each other’s nails, hair, and maybe some make up. I didn’t realize the girls’s aunt, who is a professional that you can hire to do your hair and makeup before your wedding, was coming to offer her services. There was also a professional nail person or team there. I think the friend’s mom could tell I wasn’t pleased with the pink hair by the face I made when i picked my DD up. She quickly let me know it was 1 day spray in dye that would wash right out and then she texted me later this evening to double check that it had washed out after she showered (it did).

None of the other moms I’ve talked to seem to care. Am I really making a big deal of nothing? It seems irresponsible to serve mocktails and glamorize drinking. And to not even ask parental permission about the makeover peeves me. DD is already talking about getting more of the 1 day hair dye and the make up she wants to buy and now I get to be the bad mom who says no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My only problem would have been the make-up, since my child could have been allergic, especially if she slept in it. Make-up, polish and dye may contain toxic chemicals to vaying degrees, especially in this country where the FDA has little oversight for that category of products, contrary to the EU, which regulates all this carefully.

I don’t care about the fake drinking - my kids know they won’t be able to indulge in the real thing. We’re missing an enzyme to process alcohol in the family, like many Asians.

Basically, not my idea of a fun time, but not the end of the world.

These kids were 13, not 5. Certainly a 13 year old knows whether or not she has sensitive skin or not. She's probably had her face painted at festivals and fairs over the years. And she quite likely has even worn makeup on special occasions.

I'll bet it was a real treat to have a professional makeup artist do her makeup. I would have absolutely loved everything about that party at that age.

You probably don't have skin sensitivities, then, because that's not how it works. You don't know in advance, unless you have used that exact same product before.
I have experienced really bad rashes as an adult with cosmetics I had not previously used.

On an unrelated note, I would have hated such a party.

*shrug* isn’t that life? One time my kid with Celiac went to a birthday party and they took the kids to a bakery to make cupcakes and the bakery didn’t have any GF options so she wasn’t able to eat her cupcake at the end like the rest of the attendees. She got over it in all of about 2 minutes.

The same kid is invited to a Doctor Who themed party in a few weeks. She’s never seen Doctor Who and really couldn’t care less about the series. She’ll go, smile, nod, and pretend to be interested during the conversations/activities that are Dr. Who related, and she’ll have a good time with her friends even if she’s not really into the theme.

Sometimes you do things you aren’t particularly interested in, or go to activities even though you might not be able to participate fully. It’s called having social graces.

Absolutely. PP with allergies here.
I'm just pointing out that not everyone at that age is interested in makeovers and mocktails.
And the bigger picture here is that some of us don't particularly like pushing our kids to enjoy grown-ups things in their early teens. Kids develop at different rates. Some never grow up to like those things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My only problem would have been the make-up, since my child could have been allergic, especially if she slept in it. Make-up, polish and dye may contain toxic chemicals to vaying degrees, especially in this country where the FDA has little oversight for that category of products, contrary to the EU, which regulates all this carefully.

I don’t care about the fake drinking - my kids know they won’t be able to indulge in the real thing. We’re missing an enzyme to process alcohol in the family, like many Asians.

Basically, not my idea of a fun time, but not the end of the world.

These kids were 13, not 5. Certainly a 13 year old knows whether or not she has sensitive skin or not. She's probably had her face painted at festivals and fairs over the years. And she quite likely has even worn makeup on special occasions.

I'll bet it was a real treat to have a professional makeup artist do her makeup. I would have absolutely loved everything about that party at that age.

You probably don't have skin sensitivities, then, because that's not how it works. You don't know in advance, unless you have used that exact same product before.
I have experienced really bad rashes as an adult with cosmetics I had not previously used.

On an unrelated note, I would have hated such a party.

*shrug* isn’t that life? One time my kid with Celiac went to a birthday party and they took the kids to a bakery to make cupcakes and the bakery didn’t have any GF options so she wasn’t able to eat her cupcake at the end like the rest of the attendees. She got over it in all of about 2 minutes.

The same kid is invited to a Doctor Who themed party in a few weeks. She’s never seen Doctor Who and really couldn’t care less about the series. She’ll go, smile, nod, and pretend to be interested during the conversations/activities that are Dr. Who related, and she’ll have a good time with her friends even if she’s not really into the theme.

Sometimes you do things you aren’t particularly interested in, or go to activities even though you might not be able to participate fully. It’s called having social graces.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My only problem would have been the make-up, since my child could have been allergic, especially if she slept in it. Make-up, polish and dye may contain toxic chemicals to vaying degrees, especially in this country where the FDA has little oversight for that category of products, contrary to the EU, which regulates all this carefully.

I don’t care about the fake drinking - my kids know they won’t be able to indulge in the real thing. We’re missing an enzyme to process alcohol in the family, like many Asians.

Basically, not my idea of a fun time, but not the end of the world.

These kids were 13, not 5. Certainly a 13 year old knows whether or not she has sensitive skin or not. She's probably had her face painted at festivals and fairs over the years. And she quite likely has even worn makeup on special occasions.

I'll bet it was a real treat to have a professional makeup artist do her makeup. I would have absolutely loved everything about that party at that age.

You probably don't have skin sensitivities, then, because that's not how it works. You don't know in advance, unless you have used that exact same product before.
I have experienced really bad rashes as an adult with cosmetics I had not previously used.

On an unrelated note, I would have hated such a party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 8 year old niece has gone to birthday parties AT a kiddie hair salon and come home with temporary hair color spray, etc. I think this happens at girl birthday parties nowadays although as the mom to boys only it does sound nuts to me .

The mocktail part has been interesting for me to read the responses. Posters seem to parse this at different points. Some like OP don’t like it at all. Others think it is okay so long as it is in solo cups instead of margarita glasses. Another thinks coconut flavor (pina colada) is okay but not lime (margarita). I think a lot of this is distinction without a difference. I’m not sure how I’d feel in OP’s shoes but I suspect so long as there was no alcohol in anything then I wouldn’t see it as different than drinking a shirley temple, which my kids love to do when we go out to nicer restaurants.

I posted about the pina coladas vs margaritas vs martini glasses.

To me, pina coladas means coconut and pineapple juice, where margaritas mean tequila with lime juice. Pina colada make me think of the beach flavor, while margaritas make me think of alcohol first, lime second.

As far as the glasses and presentation, some glasses (like martini glasses) are strictly for adult alcoholic beverges, while something like a hurricane glass might be used to serve a milkshake. Restaurants almost always serve virgin drinks in a standard tumbler or hurricane.

I think at least for me those are subtle things that really change the message from innocent fun to, well, Regina's mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My only problem would have been the make-up, since my child could have been allergic, especially if she slept in it. Make-up, polish and dye may contain toxic chemicals to vaying degrees, especially in this country where the FDA has little oversight for that category of products, contrary to the EU, which regulates all this carefully.

I don’t care about the fake drinking - my kids know they won’t be able to indulge in the real thing. We’re missing an enzyme to process alcohol in the family, like many Asians.

Basically, not my idea of a fun time, but not the end of the world.

These kids were 13, not 5. Certainly a 13 year old knows whether or not she has sensitive skin or not. She's probably had her face painted at festivals and fairs over the years. And she quite likely has even worn makeup on special occasions.

I'll bet it was a real treat to have a professional makeup artist do her makeup. I would have absolutely loved everything about that party at that age.

You probably don't have skin sensitivities, then, because that's not how it works. You don't know in advance, unless you have used that exact same product before.
I have experienced really bad rashes as an adult with cosmetics I had not previously used.

On an unrelated note, I would have hated such a party.

So then you teach your kid to say “I’m sorry, I have really sensitive skin. I’ll just get my hair done.” Actually, if your kid doesn’t know how to speak up by 13 you’ve got bigger fish to fry.