Anonymous
05/09/2018 21:40
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Grandma is obviously doing it because she knows it upsets you, OP.
And she seems like a really shitty person to be totally fine with calling her grandson something he has made clear he doesn’t want to be called. What an unloving person to treat a little kid like that! It kind of breaks my heart that Theo has said she can call him Sweetie Pie and she won’t even do that.
Well, he's 4. My contrarian 4 year old says he hates everything.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 20:32
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
Anonymous wrote:Grandma is obviously doing it because she knows it upsets you, OP.
And she seems like a really shitty person to be totally fine with calling her grandson something he has made clear he doesn’t want to be called. What an unloving person to treat a little kid like that! It kind of breaks my heart that Theo has said she can call him Sweetie Pie and she won’t even do that.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 20:23
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
Anonymous wrote:I like the Grandma Ted response.
Honestly I wouldn’t bother with the grandma part. Just call her Ted - the whole family should join in.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 19:50
Subject: Re:MIL refuses to call DS the right name
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
There are things worth fighting for in life. Even things worth severing relationships over.
But many more things are better left ignored. And often ignoring them solves the problem.
Child (and more importantly his mother) need to learn this lesson (and apparently so do you).
I think MIL has figured out and in part is doing this to get under DIL's skin. If true MIL is a passive aggressive POS. But DIL is stupid for not being smart enough to steer herself and her son clear of this silliness and worrying about more important things.
Dafuq? OP is standing up for her DS who isn't being respected by his own grandmother.
Are you people on glue? Insisting that a 4 year old be respected over a grandmother? 4 year olds are really low on the totem pole of having earned “respect.” Have fun with Prince Snowflake Ted in a few years.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 19:38
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
Two viable options:
1) Grandma Ted
2) No visits until she can call him by either his full name or his preferred nickname. If she can't be respectful about the most basic aspect of your son's identity--his name--she has no right to be in his presence.
1) Grandma Ted
2) No visits until she can call him by either his full name or his preferred nickname. If she can't be respectful about the most basic aspect of your son's identity--his name--she has no right to be in his presence.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 19:33
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would tell the kid that "Ted" was (whatever part of your ethnicity's mother tongue) for "sweetie pie".
You're welcome.
This. It allows the child to still believe grandma is not a b!tch, (it's really none of his business at this age) while also not taking the bait to let Grandma get to you.
But I also think Theo should call her Grandma Ted to return the favour. Then you end up with two options-
1 If she expresses that it bothers her, do some handholding and encourage her to share her feelings on why. Then bring it full circle and ask her why she wants Theo to feel that way? (I wouldn't bother with this option- I think it's obvious why)
2 Refuse to acknowledge her dislike for her name, like she does with his dislike. Use the same reactions/verbiage she uses when she defends her behaviour. Either way, fun for the family.
Yep. I would completely go full on Grandma Ted. Practice with Theo and everything.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 18:44
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
Anonymous wrote:I would tell the kid that "Ted" was (whatever part of your ethnicity's mother tongue) for "sweetie pie".
You're welcome.
This. It allows the child to still believe grandma is not a b!tch, (it's really none of his business at this age) while also not taking the bait to let Grandma get to you.
But I also think Theo should call her Grandma Ted to return the favour. Then you end up with two options-
1 If she expresses that it bothers her, do some handholding and encourage her to share her feelings on why. Then bring it full circle and ask her why she wants Theo to feel that way? (I wouldn't bother with this option- I think it's obvious why)
2 Refuse to acknowledge her dislike for her name, like she does with his dislike. Use the same reactions/verbiage she uses when she defends her behaviour. Either way, fun for the family.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 18:26
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
My paternal grandmother used to call me and my sisters "girl" in her native language. It wasn't a cultural thing because none of the other grandmothers, including my maternal grandmother, did this. She hated us because we were the reason her youngest son (my father) left his home country and her to make a better life for us. Didn't shed a tear the day she died and was secretly glad for it.
OP, let MIL show her true colors to your DC. She's the one that will miss out on what could be a loving relationship with her grandkid.
OP, let MIL show her true colors to your DC. She's the one that will miss out on what could be a loving relationship with her grandkid.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 18:25
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
Anonymous wrote:I would tell the kid that "Ted" was (whatever part of your ethnicity's mother tongue) for "sweetie pie".
You're welcome.
This might be the worst advice on this thread. And that's quite a bar to clear. Good grief.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 18:20
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
I would tell the kid that "Ted" was (whatever part of your ethnicity's mother tongue) for "sweetie pie".
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 18:08
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
Anonymous wrote:Pretty much. People usually give you nicknames,not the other way around.
Most southern grandma's would not stop, even if the child / parents ask. It's best to ignore it, and the DC will just think grandma's a little off.
This just confirms that the South's purported mania about manners and politeness is complete BS. Bless your heart.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 18:05
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
PPs who keep talking about raising a rude kid...
If you hear your kid in conversation with another kid, and your kid repeatedly keeps calling other kid a nickname even after being corrected... do you teach your child manners and correct them, telling them they need to listen to the other person, because ignoring what someone is saying is rude?
I'm just trying to understand how "rude" works in your world.
Is there some kind of magic age when you don't have to worry about being rude anymore? Can you let me know what that age is? 50? 60? Just wondering how many more years before I get this magic licence to be an a$$hat.
If you hear your kid in conversation with another kid, and your kid repeatedly keeps calling other kid a nickname even after being corrected... do you teach your child manners and correct them, telling them they need to listen to the other person, because ignoring what someone is saying is rude?
I'm just trying to understand how "rude" works in your world.
Is there some kind of magic age when you don't have to worry about being rude anymore? Can you let me know what that age is? 50? 60? Just wondering how many more years before I get this magic licence to be an a$$hat.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 17:59
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
PPs who keep saying this is a "DIL vs. MIL thing."
Just stop. Go find one of the many other threads describing a scenario where that IS what is happening and share your profiubd insight there. Literally every other person in this family including her husband, has told yhis grandma she's wrong.
Just stop. Go find one of the many other threads describing a scenario where that IS what is happening and share your profiubd insight there. Literally every other person in this family including her husband, has told yhis grandma she's wrong.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 17:58
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
Two can call her bat s*I& crazy!
Anonymous
05/09/2018 17:43
Subject: MIL refuses to call DS the right name
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am amazed at the posters defending the MIL. Who are you people?
This is clearly a fight between OP and her MIL. She hasn't encouraged her DS to accept the name or to have a good relationship with his grandma, only requiring politeness. Stubborn old lady?
I actually think they should drop the politeness requirement.
Let mean old grandma feel just exactly how much she’s upsetting her four year old grandson. Sheesh.