Anonymous
05/14/2018 21:57
Subject: No grandchildren
Anonymous wrote:I totally understand your sense of loss OP. I am one of the lucky ones who had quite a few grandchildren very young, and have thoroughly enjoyed them. I have spent a great deal of my time helping my daughters with their kids and retired early so I could have more time with them. Here is my problem and perhaps you can advise me. I have several friends who do not have grandkids and may not every have them. When I am with them I always inquire about their travels, grown kids, dog or whatever their interest are, but inevitably I end up mentioning at least one of my grandkids and something we did together, since my life revolves around them. One of my friends asked me not to talk about my grandkids to her, and now I just don't feel motivated to spend much time with her. Am I wrong? It just feels weird to me having to edit everything I say.
I think it's really unreasonable of your friend to ask you not to talk about your grandkids. That said, did you talk at great length about them? I like hearing about people's kids/grandkids to an extent but not when people go on and on and on about them (the same goes for people talking endlessly about their pets). Did you brag? It's understandable to talk about the good things they do, etc. but I think it is funny how many women happen to have grandkids that are brilliant, prodigiously talented or beautiful.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 09:19
Subject: Re:No grandchildren
Anonymous wrote:OP, you at least twice mentioned that raising children is difficult and hard. If you raised your children with this attitude, why are you expecting them to have children? My kids are still in school, but I tell them constantly what a joy it is to have children and that my life would never be as fun without them. I want to make sure that when they become adults, the daily difficulties of raising a child wont stop them from having one. I want them to see a bigger picture of raising a child.
I did not find raising children to be difficult and never said that to my kids. Others fell differently. I had a great time with my kids, even when they were newborns although I have to admit that my daughter was a bit trying as a teenager. I do realize that it is a huge commitment to have children and not something that everyone is willing to do, and I fully support that choice. My adult children know that my husband and I really enjoyed them, and still do. But I have also really tried to let them make their own choices and not project what I want on them.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 00:42
Subject: Re:No grandchildren
OP, you at least twice mentioned that raising children is difficult and hard. If you raised your children with this attitude, why are you expecting them to have children? My kids are still in school, but I tell them constantly what a joy it is to have children and that my life would never be as fun without them. I want to make sure that when they become adults, the daily difficulties of raising a child wont stop them from having one. I want them to see a bigger picture of raising a child.
Anonymous
05/09/2018 00:36
Subject: No grandchildren
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I love your assumptions. I am the grandma above, but also have a PH.D. in economics and love to talk about all kinds of intellectual topics. BUT, I still get more from my time with my grandkids, then any other activity. Sorry to be so boring. It is who I am.
People, get with the times. Demographic changes mean that so many wont be grandparenting. It's not a bad thing at all. If children are so great, why arent more people having them?
Actually most of other cultures continue to have 3-6 children. It's just white americans think it is hard work, not a gift.
Anonymous
04/28/2018 23:12
Subject: No grandchildren
Anonymous wrote:I love your assumptions. I am the grandma above, but also have a PH.D. in economics and love to talk about all kinds of intellectual topics. BUT, I still get more from my time with my grandkids, then any other activity. Sorry to be so boring. It is who I am.
People, get with the times. Demographic changes mean that so many wont be grandparenting. It's not a bad thing at all. If children are so great, why arent more people having them?
Anonymous
04/28/2018 23:11
Subject: No grandchildren
If it makes you feel better, I did not have kids til I was 40, then I had too. Never discussed it with my parents but I guess they were feeling a bit like you. There is nothing you can do about that. Look within yourself or your own marriage to find things to fulfill yourself and give purpose to your life. It is not up to them to provide that and kind of sad you might need them to.
On the other hand I am pretty darn sure I won't have grandkids either. At least, while I am young. Not that I can help with or anything like that. Unless my kids have kids WAY younger than me, I won't get that experience. I am sad about it but in no way would want them to rush their life for me.