Anonymous wrote:Op. I was you about 2 years ago. Sex isn't what it was, but there were reasons for it... his significant weight gain, he started traveling one week a month for work, leaving me with two young kids. I also work full time. His increased responsibilities at work led to less patience with the kids, and he'd yell at them all the time. They'd come to me for comfort, and I constantly felt like I had someone needing something from me. Then the kids would go to bed (not with his help) and suddenly he'd want his turn with me. I just needed like 30 minutes without someone touching my body, and he took that as rejection
There are a million things we could have done better to save our marriage.... but he had an affair with his assistant who travelled with him in all his work trips.

Also denied it after I found incriminating texts. Gaslighted me.

We did try therapy but he refused to acknowledge the affair. I played the pathetic "pick me, pick me" dance for a solid year, which I regret terribly now.

Divorce sucks. 'It Is financially devastating. It's terrifying. You lose access to your kids half the time.

But..... you can do this. my belief is that unless the cheater is willing to table his transgressions in therapy, attone for them and work through them so the two of you as a couple can address everything about your marriage, there is no hope. None, your marriage is over.

Don't waste another day in this situation, give him an ultimatum.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife (for now) here- my husband stopped having sex with me, it's been over 2 years now. I don't think he has cheated. I had an emotional affair (was never physical and he caught me), and now I am the cheater and he says he can't trust me anymore. I have not been in contact with the EA person in over a year now. We are in therapy, but we only seem to be addressing his trust issues, and none of my issues. Because I am the cheater.

So OP, I hope he doesn't leave me (the cheater) but I want that intimacy. I want it with HIM. Maybe your husband would prefer it with you, as well...??

OP here. I really want it with him. I’m not opposed to sex. Our sex life just got off track and I don’t know how to get it back on. I need his help and his support.

Anonymous wrote:

Or better yet, they don't want to compromise and give when they have been used by their wives.

¿Que?

Or better yet, they don't want to compromise and give when they have been used by their wives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I disagree with so much of this. The first part being the OP claims she does/is willing to have sex, so your argument about him being excused to cheat is invalid.

It just dumbfounds me how stupid some women can be. Seriously, you really think the only thing men need is a warm body and to ejaculate and then we're all happy .............. You. are. Clueless. Apparently,

OP stated a few times "She's willing to have sex" , Yeah, that's exactly what all us men want. Someone to lay there and judge us while we try to be vulnerable and orgasm. Oh Yeah, that's the goal of all men. I used to be in a sexless marriage for over 25 years. Until I drew the line. She then became "willing". Fine, I'll let you pretend that I'm satisfied. Meanwhile I'm out with women that can give what they take. If you turn the marriage into sexless - you've cooked it. It's. Done. Finalto. Any man with pride eventually wakes up. If men never had children, sexless women would be kicked to the curb.

You sir are correct. Not sure why women don't understand. You decide to not have sex anymore, as soon as a nice women not only gives him sex - but passionate sex and good attention, he'll engage with an affair.

There's only so much a guy will deprive himself of before he finds a better offer. And if you're in shape, have a good job, good hygiene, stable and can hold an intelligent conversation believe me when there are women who will gladly do the part you refuse to to do.

Why don't you get a pair of balls and divorce your wife? By having an affair, you are giving her exactly what she wants, sexless marriage. All the benefits, none of the work.

And please, do not approach single women with your lies and bs. If you do cheat, same it for the married women.

Most will, but here's the thing, divorce is financial and emotional ruin for men. The courts are stacked against them in many ways...so for some it's not an option.

Me personally, I divorced and I'm happy. I started dating a woman 12 years my junior not very long afterwards and it was amazing. So yeah, there are better offers for us who are stable, wealthy, fit, intelligent and good men.

Don't burden anyone else with your bulls$t though. Stay at home and live in your sexless marriage. And i am not buying it about only intelligent, wealthy men have options to get married. If you can find someone to cheat on your wife with being poor, fat, and unstable, you can find the same woman as a single men.

See how that works . . . Its called reasoning. Like my mom said, many marriages would not succeed without the help of a mistress. When faced with no options, you will reclaim your manhood and loose the weight and become attractive again.

Cheating and open marriages are a sign of weakness in a man.

Or you maintain that throughout the marriage. It takes looking in the mirror and saying you don't like what you see and fixing it.

I used to look down on husbands who cheat...I don't anymore. Every situation is different, so I can understand the motives.

More to the point, when you are intelligent, successful, stable and fit, the pick of women who are willing to sleep with you is much much higher. That is a fact. I can tell you about multiple men in their late 30's and early 40's who are single or newly single and they're having no issues. Of course I hang around people who are similar to me in interests and career wise. None of them are having issues with finding willing women...none at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I disagree with so much of this. The first part being the OP claims she does/is willing to have sex, so your argument about him being excused to cheat is invalid.

It just dumbfounds me how stupid some women can be. Seriously, you really think the only thing men need is a warm body and to ejaculate and then we're all happy .............. You. are. Clueless. Apparently,

OP stated a few times "She's willing to have sex" , Yeah, that's exactly what all us men want. Someone to lay there and judge us while we try to be vulnerable and orgasm. Oh Yeah, that's the goal of all men. I used to be in a sexless marriage for over 25 years. Until I drew the line. She then became "willing". Fine, I'll let you pretend that I'm satisfied. Meanwhile I'm out with women that can give what they take. If you turn the marriage into sexless - you've cooked it. It's. Done. Finalto. Any man with pride eventually wakes up. If men never had children, sexless women would be kicked to the curb.

You sir are correct. Not sure why women don't understand. You decide to not have sex anymore, as soon as a nice women not only gives him sex - but passionate sex and good attention, he'll engage with an affair.

There's only so much a guy will deprive himself of before he finds a better offer. And if you're in shape, have a good job, good hygiene, stable and can hold an intelligent conversation believe me when there are women who will gladly do the part you refuse to to do.

Why don't you get a pair of balls and divorce your wife? By having an affair, you are giving her exactly what she wants, sexless marriage. All the benefits, none of the work.

And please, do not approach single women with your lies and bs. If you do cheat, same it for the married women.

Most will, but here's the thing, divorce is financial and emotional ruin for men. The courts are stacked against them in many ways...so for some it's not an option.

Me personally, I divorced and I'm happy. I started dating a woman 12 years my junior not very long afterwards and it was amazing. So yeah, there are better offers for us who are stable, wealthy, fit, intelligent and good men.

Don't burden anyone else with your bulls$t though. Stay at home and live in your sexless marriage. And i am not buying it about only intelligent, wealthy men have options to get married. If you can find someone to cheat on your wife with being poor, fat, and unstable, you can find the same woman as a single men.

See how that works . . . Its called reasoning. Like my mom said, many marriages would not succeed without the help of a mistress. When faced with no options, you will reclaim your manhood and loose the weight and become attractive again.

Cheating and open marriages are a sign of weakness in a man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I disagree with so much of this. The first part being the OP claims she does/is willing to have sex, so your argument about him being excused to cheat is invalid.

It just dumbfounds me how stupid some women can be. Seriously, you really think the only thing men need is a warm body and to ejaculate and then we're all happy .............. You. are. Clueless. Apparently,

OP stated a few times "She's willing to have sex" , Yeah, that's exactly what all us men want. Someone to lay there and judge us while we try to be vulnerable and orgasm. Oh Yeah, that's the goal of all men. I used to be in a sexless marriage for over 25 years. Until I drew the line. She then became "willing". Fine, I'll let you pretend that I'm satisfied. Meanwhile I'm out with women that can give what they take. If you turn the marriage into sexless - you've cooked it. It's. Done. Finalto. Any man with pride eventually wakes up. If men never had children, sexless women would be kicked to the curb.

You sir are correct. Not sure why women don't understand. You decide to not have sex anymore, as soon as a nice women not only gives him sex - but passionate sex and good attention, he'll engage with an affair.

There's only so much a guy will deprive himself of before he finds a better offer. And if you're in shape, have a good job, good hygiene, stable and can hold an intelligent conversation believe me when there are women who will gladly do the part you refuse to to do.

Why don't you get a pair of balls and divorce your wife? By having an affair, you are giving her exactly what she wants, sexless marriage. All the benefits, none of the work.

And please, do not approach single women with your lies and bs. If you do cheat, same it for the married women.

Most will, but here's the thing, divorce is financial and emotional ruin for men. The courts are stacked against them in many ways...so for some it's not an option.

Me personally, I divorced and I'm happy. I started dating a woman 12 years my junior not very long afterwards and it was amazing. So yeah, there are better offers for us who are stable, wealthy, fit, intelligent and good men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I disagree with so much of this. The first part being the OP claims she does/is willing to have sex, so your argument about him being excused to cheat is invalid.

It just dumbfounds me how stupid some women can be. Seriously, you really think the only thing men need is a warm body and to ejaculate and then we're all happy .............. You. are. Clueless. Apparently,

OP stated a few times "She's willing to have sex" , Yeah, that's exactly what all us men want. Someone to lay there and judge us while we try to be vulnerable and orgasm. Oh Yeah, that's the goal of all men. I used to be in a sexless marriage for over 25 years. Until I drew the line. She then became "willing". Fine, I'll let you pretend that I'm satisfied. Meanwhile I'm out with women that can give what they take. If you turn the marriage into sexless - you've cooked it. It's. Done. Finalto. Any man with pride eventually wakes up. If men never had children, sexless women would be kicked to the curb.

You sir are correct. Not sure why women don't understand. You decide to not have sex anymore, as soon as a nice women not only gives him sex - but passionate sex and good attention, he'll engage with an affair.

There's only so much a guy will deprive himself of before he finds a better offer. And if you're in shape, have a good job, good hygiene, stable and can hold an intelligent conversation believe me when there are women who will gladly do the part you refuse to to do.

Why don't you get a pair of balls and divorce your wife? By having an affair, you are giving her exactly what she wants, sexless marriage. All the benefits, none of the work.

And please, do not approach single women with your lies and bs. If you do cheat, same it for the married women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I disagree with so much of this. The first part being the OP claims she does/is willing to have sex, so your argument about him being excused to cheat is invalid.

It just dumbfounds me how stupid some women can be. Seriously, you really think the only thing men need is a warm body and to ejaculate and then we're all happy .............. You. are. Clueless. Apparently,

OP stated a few times "She's willing to have sex" , Yeah, that's exactly what all us men want. Someone to lay there and judge us while we try to be vulnerable and orgasm. Oh Yeah, that's the goal of all men. I used to be in a sexless marriage for over 25 years. Until I drew the line. She then became "willing". Fine, I'll let you pretend that I'm satisfied. Meanwhile I'm out with women that can give what they take. If you turn the marriage into sexless - you've cooked it. It's. Done. Finalto. Any man with pride eventually wakes up. If men never had children, sexless women would be kicked to the curb.

You sir are correct. Not sure why women don't understand. You decide to not have sex anymore, as soon as a nice women not only gives him sex - but passionate sex and good attention, he'll engage with an affair.

There's only so much a guy will deprive himself of before he finds a better offer. And if you're in shape, have a good job, good hygiene, stable and can hold an intelligent conversation believe me when there are women who will gladly do the part you refuse to to do.