Anonymous wrote:Rich kids are not drama-free and middle class kids are not more likely to have social issues.

I suspect we're using similar vocabulary, but are not actually talking about the same sets of issues. I love and an involved in my neighborhood, but there are significant issues with substance abuse and household instability in my immediate community, which also translates into children not having the support and structure they need. These things absolutely increase the more impoverished a community is. Also, there are significant differences in the way that different communities think about and value education.

I don't think people are comfortable expressing it in these terms, which is probably good, but the truth is that they like the end product admissions provides them. Admissions sets up a fairly elaborate process for applying - essays, financial forms, multiple visits (during work hours), interviews. The are innumerable opportunities in that process to hand select families who "fit" the school. The financial barrier is the biggest and most obvious tool for producing elite self-selection, as well as the fastest way to pick very carefully one's FA candidates.

I'm insanely happy with my child's school, but frankly, if you think that process was designed with even minimal interest in helping parents of lesser means apply and gain admission, parents like my immediate neighbors, then you need to break down just how many separate steps are involved in just completing the initial school research and application process. Keep in mind that a lot parents in my community want good things for their kids, but many of them have never filled out their own college essay - let alone writing a reflective, well-edited piece on the kindergartener. I know how to do it because I'm just affluent enough to find the cash and have been over-educated for the social position I occupy. If you make things hard for me, I just come back next year with a better essay. But anyone who works with American working class communities knows this is not the typical result with most people.

Nobody wakes up every morning and says, "Hey, let's make a super exclusive school where there are not any poor kids with unfamiliar challenges." At least I hope not. But I do think that if schools placed a very high priority on being inclusive, they'd do things like hold workshops in particular neighborhoods and walk people through the process. And, of course, they'd have a few fully funded or mostly funded spots, which they would advertise in lower income communities as they search for the next years special scholarships fellows.

Rich kids are not drama-free and middle class kids are not more likely to have social issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:13.09 you dont get private school economics. It is price-discrimination.

What does this mean?

It means that people want the entire class to be "nice kids" - that is, for a class of peers who have strong abilities and come from families with middle to upper class behavior and support. The game is to widen the pool of applicants by admitting some less affluent families, but no one is bending over backwards to bring kids living the poverty line into the schools.

It makes me sick when I think about it, as a resident of a lower-income neighborhood; at the same time, I'm also paying big bucks because I want a positive, challenging, drama-free environment for my gradeschooler. There's a certain amount of social chaos that is inevitable at my neighborhood school, and no matter how bad I feel about it, I also can't change it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think we earn enough to afford private, but we are just another ordinary dual income professionals in the area, and we live in a very modest house

Can someone tell me what majority of private school families are like financially? I don’t want our kid to feel that he’s the poorest one in the class

HHI is 370k/year. Kid got accepted into a private school that costs over 40k/year. Filled out the FA application and uploaded W2 and previous tac return from the past. Got 80% in FA and I still don't know why.

That makes no sense to me. We make 190, have significant student loan debt, and a small mortgage (160k on the mortgage). TADS thinks we can pay around 37,000, which I think is in range. Maybe it allows much bigger leeway for additional kids or mortgage debt than I would anticipate?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the private schools here so unsophisticated that they can easily be duped and end up awarding FA to shrewd asset-hiders who would otherwise not get any? How can this be? Are their vetting/due diligence processes that inadequate?

I was actually surprised by how intrusive it is. I hate TADS.

My finances are not that complex, so maybe I just don't know how to hide money. But it looks to me like the only way to hide too well from TADS is to input faulty data and make sure the IRS forms match.

Anonymous wrote:I think we earn enough to afford private, but we are just another ordinary dual income professionals in the area, and we live in a very modest house

Can someone tell me what majority of private school families are like financially? I don’t want our kid to feel that he’s the poorest one in the class

HHI is 370k/year. Kid got accepted into a private school that costs over 40k/year. Filled out the FA application and uploaded W2 and previous tac return from the past. Got 80% in FA and I still don't know why.

Anonymous wrote:Are the private schools here so unsophisticated that they can easily be duped and end up awarding FA to shrewd asset-hiders who would otherwise not get any? How can this be? Are their vetting/due diligence processes that inadequate?

I was actually surprised by how intrusive it is. I hate TADS.

Are the private schools here so unsophisticated that they can easily be duped and end up awarding FA to shrewd asset-hiders who would otherwise not get any? How can this be? Are their vetting/due diligence processes that inadequate?

Anonymous wrote:You are aware that families hide wealth to qualify for FA?

It's rare. You would have to hide your salary and tax returns.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids go to Sidwell. Our two working parent HHI is about 400; that's total gross HHI before deductions for taxes, healthcare, retirement, mortgage, tuition, etc. Our house is worth about 750. We have no financial aid from the school or grantparents or anything like that; just paying our own way. We consider ourselves really lucky and blessed, and quite frankly successful to be able to pay for an expensive luxury like private school. I think we're about average/median for the school. Plenty of families are far wealthier, but plenty are less fortunate. HTH. Take my opinions with a grain of salt though, because I can only guess at how other families are doing financially. But fwiw, I never have felt out of place.

This is exactly us.

Exactly us too.

similar to us too -- no family wealth, just under 400K for 2 working parent HHI. After many years of private, we are opting out and going back to public. the tuition hikes, combined with opportunity costs and future college costs, have changed the value proposition for us, despite the relative quality of the two education systems remaining the same as when we made the decision back when our eldest was in K.

Same situation and we're contemplating public too. The tuition increases each year make it harder to afford it, even at 400K HHI (two full-time working parents), with 2 kids in private. We are living frugally, but not able to save much at all.

You are aware that families hide wealth to qualify for FA?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids go to Sidwell. Our two working parent HHI is about 400; that's total gross HHI before deductions for taxes, healthcare, retirement, mortgage, tuition, etc. Our house is worth about 750. We have no financial aid from the school or grantparents or anything like that; just paying our own way. We consider ourselves really lucky and blessed, and quite frankly successful to be able to pay for an expensive luxury like private school. I think we're about average/median for the school. Plenty of families are far wealthier, but plenty are less fortunate. HTH. Take my opinions with a grain of salt though, because I can only guess at how other families are doing financially. But fwiw, I never have felt out of place.

This is exactly us.

Exactly us too.

similar to us too -- no family wealth, just under 400K for 2 working parent HHI. After many years of private, we are opting out and going back to public. the tuition hikes, combined with opportunity costs and future college costs, have changed the value proposition for us, despite the relative quality of the two education systems remaining the same as when we made the decision back when our eldest was in K.

Anonymous wrote:13.09 you dont get private school economics. It is price-discrimination.

Yes I took Econ 1. But no one making $250k+ needs a discount. That money could be better spent on kids who really need it. Families making $70k with excellent students just don't apply to these schools because historically they can't give out enough aid to make it possible. I know one school that even says on its website that no one gets more than 30% aid so don't even try. But if they quit giving little discounts to very wealthy people, there might be enough to fund a truly needy kid here and there.

Anonymous wrote:13.09 you dont get private school economics. It is price-discrimination.

What does this mean?