Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:41
Subject: Re:At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Well, at least I understand why so many on DCUM are crying that they don't have any friends.
I would much rather have OP than the user twin mom as my friend.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:40
Subject: Re:At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is OP, and wow, this really took off.
To clear some things up:
-It will be a month this week I’ve been doing this.
-We drive because we are in a gated community and the bus picks up at the front.
-We could walk, but I head right to work. I don’t have time to walk back.
-Yes, it takes an extra 10 minutes because I don’t want to be late for any reason and then have to drive them all to school. I’ve been allowing extra time in case someone is running behind.
This just doesn't seem like a big deal to me and it's no doubt a huge help to her. Are her kids routinely late? Do they bring food and leave your car a mess? Are they rude to you or your kids? If not, just suck it up and help her out. It sounds like you don't have to leave 10 minutes earlier, that is just your preference.
I agree. I can't believe no one else picked up on the fact that OP doesn't have to take those 10 extra minutes she's complaining about but that she is deciding to leave 10 minutes early just in case someone happens to be running late.
OP, tell your neighbor that you have to leave for the bus at 7.30 and that you can't be late. If her kids aren't outside at 7.30, she'll have to find another way that day.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:39
Subject: Re:At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Well, at least I understand why so many on DCUM are crying that they don't have any friends.
No kidding. This thread is so illuminating. These people wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:38
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow 2.5 whole hours of help total.
Is OP up for the Nobel this year?
It is in the mornings.
It's also a FAVOR not an obligation. Twin mom needs to either make other arrangements or get the twins into the bus stop routine.
Twin mom probably has no idea that OP is bugging over stopping at her house on the way up to the gate she has to leave out of either way.
I just personally could not ask someone to help me out indefinitely with my kids/ newborns. I would be trying to do something to get out the door.
Right! At some point, take care of your shit!
Its been three weeks you friggin harpies! My god. For all we know she's already planning to take things over again next week.
For 3 weeks OP has driven * one extra kid* to the bus stop * she already drives her own kids to every day.* This is NOT some huge burden or undertaking. Twin mom is probably doing the best she can and has no intention of letting it go on forever or not thanking OP kindly when she takes back over.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:37
Subject: Re:At what point does a favor become a burden?
Well, at least I understand why so many on DCUM are crying that they don't have any friends.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:36
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow 2.5 whole hours of help total.
Is OP up for the Nobel this year?
It is in the mornings.
It's also a FAVOR not an obligation. Twin mom needs to either make other arrangements or get the twins into the bus stop routine.
Twin mom probably has no idea that OP is bugging over stopping at her house on the way up to the gate she has to leave out of either way.
I just personally could not ask someone to help me out indefinitely with my kids/ newborns. I would be trying to do something to get out the door.
Right! At some point, take care of your shit!
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:35
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow 2.5 whole hours of help total.
Is OP up for the Nobel this year?
It is in the mornings.
It's also a FAVOR not an obligation. Twin mom needs to either make other arrangements or get the twins into the bus stop routine.
Twin mom probably has no idea that OP is bugging over stopping at her house on the way up to the gate she has to leave out of either way.
I just personally could not ask someone to help me out indefinitely with my kids/ newborns. I would be trying to do something to get out the door. [/quote
It doesn’t sound like that’s what happened. They just haven’t checked in or not in a way OP recognizes. I certainly hope neighbor isn’t reading this thread. How terrible that would feel.
Like OP cares. She probably is hoping twin mom sees this.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:35
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow 2.5 whole hours of help total.
Is OP up for the Nobel this year?
It is in the mornings.
It's also a FAVOR not an obligation. Twin mom needs to either make other arrangements or get the twins into the bus stop routine.
Twin mom probably has no idea that OP is bugging over stopping at her house on the way up to the gate she has to leave out of either way.
she has no idea because she doesn't care and simply assumes OP will keep solving her problem.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:35
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow 2.5 whole hours of help total.
Is OP up for the Nobel this year?
It is in the mornings.
It's also a FAVOR not an obligation. Twin mom needs to either make other arrangements or get the twins into the bus stop routine.
Twin mom probably has no idea that OP is bugging over stopping at her house on the way up to the gate she has to leave out of either way.
I just personally could not ask someone to help me out indefinitely with my kids/ newborns. I would be trying to do something to get out the door. [/quote
It doesn’t sound like that’s what happened. They just haven’t checked in or not in a way OP recognizes. I certainly hope neighbor isn’t reading this thread. How terrible that would feel.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:34
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow 2.5 whole hours of help total.
Is OP up for the Nobel this year?
It is in the mornings.
It's also a FAVOR not an obligation. Twin mom needs to either make other arrangements or get the twins into the bus stop routine.
Twin mom probably has no idea that OP is bugging over stopping at her house on the way up to the gate she has to leave out of either way.
I just personally could not ask someone to help me out indefinitely with my kids/ newborns. I would be trying to do something to get out the door.
Well I say that right now too sitting on my couch. If I had twins and my freaking life was in shambles as I adjusted and I knew my child could at least get out the door to school in the mornings, I'm not sure I would have my shit together enough to stop and be like hey, it's rude for OP who is driving that way anyway to take my kid to the same stop she's going to. I should haul my infants into the car and get everyone up to the exact same bus stop she is already going to because it's only the right thing to do and I have some tough woman who can do it all in 3 weeks medal to win.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:32
Subject: Re:At what point does a favor become a burden?
It becomes a burden when you pretty much realize that people who you do favors for will never do anything for you in return. Has this neighbor helped you out in the past? I think not...and I'm surprised that neighbors can be that 'close' (I don't speak with any of my neighbors in my neighborhood and wouldn't count on anyone for anything). I think people expect OP to help out cos she's a woman and women undertake a TON of emotional labor. This 'favor' is a form of a emotional labor cos you took on the responsibility and are now feeling like you cant get out without straining relations.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:32
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
There is this awesome thing called communication. OP, give it a whirl with your neighbor. Much more effective than boohoo griping online to strangers.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:31
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op think about it. Even if it's minorly annoying, and I believe it is, is it SO inconvenient you cang just help out a fellow mom who now has TWO newborns to deal with? For you it's maybe 10 minutes. What would it take for her to get the kids AND the babies in the car every morning? Isn't it better for the older kids to not feel rushed and chaotic because mom isn't wrangling two screaming hungry babies to get them to school?
Sometimes being a good helpful person means you just suck it up and do the annoying thing that has a tiny impact on your life but is a HUGE deal for someone else. This is one of those times.
so for how many years do you suggest OP keeps doing this? perhaps she should take on the twins as well, when the time comes.
How about a couple more weeks? You know - just until the twins mother stops bleeding like a stuck pig and her nipples stop screaming?
you have zero evidence that this woman is bleeding and her nipples are "screaming"
Right, a month after delivering twins I am sure she is running marathons.
In two weeks she’ll be back to work. What will her excuse be then? Sorry, can’t come to work. Nipples are screaming. Kid not sleeping through the night. Too cold out.
Maybe give it 6weeks OP.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:30
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow 2.5 whole hours of help total.
Is OP up for the Nobel this year?
It is in the mornings.
It's also a FAVOR not an obligation. Twin mom needs to either make other arrangements or get the twins into the bus stop routine.
Twin mom probably has no idea that OP is bugging over stopping at her house on the way up to the gate she has to leave out of either way.
I just personally could not ask someone to help me out indefinitely with my kids/ newborns. I would be trying to do something to get out the door.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 19:28
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow 2.5 whole hours of help total.
Is OP up for the Nobel this year?
It is in the mornings.
It's also a FAVOR not an obligation. Twin mom needs to either make other arrangements or get the twins into the bus stop routine.
Twin mom probably has no idea that OP is bugging over stopping at her house on the way up to the gate she has to leave out of either way.