I call BS on your claim of practicing “positive parenting” during the day, but then morphing into Cruella Deville at night. I can’t wrap my mind around denying your young child your affection and then, as punishment for his begging for you, putting him in a dark closet for as many times as it takes for him to finally shut down and comply. I don’t doubt that you’ll ultimately get him to comply 100% of the time with such tactics, but at what cost to your soul and his psyche? The good news is that you’re aware this is likely horrible, so please just stop this and get yourself to a counselor.

OP, I think its wrong. I think you should look into therapy. I had abusive parents. I know that they weren't bad people- just tired and frustrated, and I was a strong willed child. It doesn't make it any better. Your child will be no less traumatized because you didn't mean it or were tired.

Put em in the chokey!

Total troll. Or child abuser. But probably troll.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most recommended method is to offer a prize in the morning if he goes to bed without causing trouble, and you should try this. He sounds so emotional that this method may not work on its own so you could combine the reward with the closet punishment since that does actually seem to be working.

When does that end though? Serious question. Doesn't that just teach kids that the only reason we do things is for reward and material gains? A treat once in a while for a specific job well done is one thing but to reward kids for doing what they're supposed to do anyway? Why a reward for going to bed when you're supposed to? Besides he's old enough to know how to behave.

Read the Kazdin method so you can understand how positive reinforcement works.

Read the Kazdin Method OP. This is a parenting problem. The closest is stupid, unhelpful, and mean.

Anonymous wrote:The most recommended method is to offer a prize in the morning if he goes to bed without causing trouble, and you should try this. He sounds so emotional that this method may not work on its own so you could combine the reward with the closet punishment since that does actually seem to be working.

When does that end though? Serious question. Doesn't that just teach kids that the only reason we do things is for reward and material gains? A treat once in a while for a specific job well done is one thing but to reward kids for doing what they're supposed to do anyway? Why a reward for going to bed when you're supposed to? Besides he's old enough to know how to behave.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most recommended method is to offer a prize in the morning if he goes to bed without causing trouble, and you should try this. He sounds so emotional that this method may not work on its own so you could combine the reward with the closet punishment since that does actually seem to be working.

There is subset of children for whom rewards just do. not. work. My son, for example.

Then I would recommend the book The Explosive Child. Because if rewards do not work for your child then chances are punishments and negative consequences like time out do not work either. FFS do not lock your child in the closet. Also - if it's a bedtime issue, try 1 mg of melatonin which can be really effective for children that do not respond to typical punishments and rewards as you have described.

^^ wanted to add that if your DS is a handful, it will only get worse, and you can't put a 15 year old in the closet. You need to figure out an alternative way of getting across to him now, while he's young.

Read Raising Your Spirited Child or How to Talk so Kids will Listen & Listen so Kids will Talk

Haven't read all the comments but wanted to add that DHs parents did this to him as a kid, and he's now in therapy and struggling with depression from the effects. He has basically no memories of most of his childhood, and very strong memories of this.

His parents were otherwise great, loving, caring. But boy did they mess up when they decided THAT was a good way to discipline.

Keep trying different ways until you find one that works. I do not think what you are doing is a beneficial form of discipline. Many Prayers....