Op's child was not assigned to the class that her best friend

What if said friend did not want to be with your daughter? It's possible. After 4 years I found out that a certain mother always asked that our children be placed together. I didn't know she did that. I didn't know that was a request that would be honored. Our family did not want that to determine our child's placement. If it had happened randomly a time or two that would have been fine, but not every year because she wanted it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you "volunteered" because you thought it would curry you favors with the principal with class placement? If you'd just stuck to sharing about how frustrated you were that your communicated request for separating your child from another wasn't met, I would have offered some helpful advice. But you had to throw in the part about expecting some preferential treatment because you volunteered.

You're an idiot, OP. You fail to see how your kid will be fine, even with some kids who learn differently. Even worse, though, is that you're an entitled idiot. Please stay in MD.

-Principal of a Title 1 school in Fairfax

The overwhelming number of parents who spend a lot of time volunteering, do so hoping for preferential treatment. Let's not kid ourselves.

Do you have proof of this? Lots of stereotyping here. I'm the PTA President of a Focus school in Mont. County. I have a full time job and honestly I'm rarely at the school during the day so I'm barely in my kids classroom . I volunteered to be the Pres. because no one else wanted to do it. Let's face it, although people know how much a school benefits from a PTA, very few will step up to actually volunteer. The board members and I are dedicated in helping all the kids in the school. We have never received preferential treatment for being a part of the PTA Board, nor would we ever expect it! That would actually be pretty embarrassing. And to the VA Principal- what does OP's actions have anything to do with MD??

Teachers and admin should do what's best for all kids under their care. THAT'S their job, not showing some kids preferential treatment because their parents jumped through some hoops. That would be terribly unfair to those kids who get little family support, either at school or at home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are just the kind of person who schools should not let volunteer..keeping track of who might have learning issues who stayed back..people's socioeconomic status. Stay away from the classroom please. You are only there for selfish reasons not to help.

I don't share it with other people. In fact other people tell me bits of info and it all comes together, I don't keep track on purpose.

NP here. OP, you really are WAAAY too involved in this. You've basically got your own personal assessment of every single kid in your child's class. In no way is that appropriate.
I'm saying this as a former PTA president, btw.

When exactly are you planning on NOT having this level of perceived knowledge about your kid's classmates? Middle school? High school? College? I'm suggesting you make it now. Today. Your child will be fine. If a problem does arise, it can be dealt with then.

Please get out of the building.

Awe. I don't think she needs to "get out of the building" she just needs to tone it down a notch or two. Focus on her own kid's unique needs whatever they me be (the ALL have them) and stop worrying about the other kids.

It is totally 100% possible to walk into a room full of kids with a smile on your face and do what helps out in the moment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL they asked what you wanted and did the opposite. They hate you.

Not necessarily. There are only two classes and it's possible that Op's child was not assigned to the class that her best friend is in because Op's daughter and this friend are giggly/disruptive chatterboxes together. They learn better in school when they aren't in the same classroom together.

No need to seat them together, just the same classroom.

Girls know how to communicate....we'll leave it at that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are just the kind of person who schools should not let volunteer..keeping track of who might have learning issues who stayed back..people's socioeconomic status. Stay away from the classroom please. You are only there for selfish reasons not to help.

I don't share it with other people. In fact other people tell me bits of info and it all comes together, I don't keep track on purpose.

NP here. OP, you really are WAAAY too involved in this. You've basically got your own personal assessment of every single kid in your child's class. In no way is that appropriate.
I'm saying this as a former PTA president, btw.

When exactly are you planning on NOT having this level of perceived knowledge about your kid's classmates? Middle school? High school? College? I'm suggesting you make it now. Today. Your child will be fine. If a problem does arise, it can be dealt with then.

Please get out of the building.

Anonymous wrote:You are just the kind of person who schools should not let volunteer..keeping track of who might have learning issues who stayed back..people's socioeconomic status. Stay away from the classroom please. You are only there for selfish reasons not to help.

I don't share it with other people. In fact other people tell me bits of info and it all comes together, I don't keep track on purpose.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL they asked what you wanted and did the opposite. They hate you.

Not necessarily. There are only two classes and it's possible that Op's child was not assigned to the class that her best friend is in because Op's daughter and this friend are giggly/disruptive chatterboxes together. They learn better in school when they aren't in the same classroom together.

No need to seat them together, just the same classroom.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your child fell victim to being a well behaved high-achiever. Often those kids get placed in the class (and seat) with the children who have behavioral problems. Some people have the assumption that your child will be a role model and then ignore the major issues that start affecting your child.

He is averagely behaved and is just one of the high achievers. He and another girl are the only notably good students in that classroom, but I never saw him as one of the top 2 students.

Anonymous wrote:LOL they asked what you wanted and did the opposite. They hate you.

It wasn't just me fwiw... and who is THEY exactly

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Schools usually honor requests to avoid another child, so you can ask why this request was not honored.

However for all the rest, shame on you, OP!

What you expected was highly unethical and immoral.

I have been on the PTA Board for years, and would not tolerate it if my child received favors as a result. That is NOT why I volunteer.
I want to help all the students, not my children in particular.

And as the parent of a child with special needs, I find your remark about the slow learner particularly offensive. At our MCPS school, children with special needs do not slow down the rest of the class - they have aides in the classroom, who help others as well as the child in question, so it's actually a bonus for everyone.

You are a disgusting human being.

I agree with you that OP's request was improper. But you have unrealistically rose colored glasses in claiming special needs students don't slow down the class and actually benefit others because of aides. In truth, it is a mixed bag and depends on a lot of factors, including the SN kid(s) and the aide(s). I've had circumstances where there have been frequent, significant disruptions and others with few disruptions and the aides were able and willing to help other kids.

I am not suggesting the SN kid shouldn't be in the class or get extra help, but that extra help does sometimes come at the expense of other kids and the pace of the class. Pretending otherwise doesn't help anyone.

Also, remember not all SN kids have aides, exacerbating the problems and taking away some of the potential benefit.

Too bad. SN kids have a right to be in the classroom. If you don't get that, go private.

Can you read? That was my point. They do have that right. I just thought the PP was being dishonesty in saying it was always a positive for other kids in the class.

PP you accuse of being dishonest. I specified that this is the way it is in our elementary school, where we have spent 6 years so far (2 kids), and where I volunteer extensively.

Of course there are disruptions! But when I observe the children leading others by the hand, accompanying and explaining things, telling newcomers not to make fun of certain of their habits, etc, the advantages FAR OUTWEIGH the disadvantages. And that comes from the top, PP. Our MCPS school is known for how it handles children with special needs, it is a center for our cluster, and receives students who cannot be accommodated in nearby schools. The school counselor, principal, EVERYONE, is trained and very hands-on in that regard. It creates a culture of acceptance. Children with or without particular needs, who become disruptive, are escorted out of classrooms, walked in the corridors, sent to the gym or outside. The younger students have two, sometimes three, recess periods.

I have actually observed that it's the children without a diagnosis that are the most disruptive! It's so easy and nasty to target the children with visible special needs - but the reality is that with a willing administration and trained teachers, instruction can progress at any level MCPS chooses to provide. They are all pretty low, but that's a topic for another thread...

The problem comes in with kids like mine who cannot handle all the disruptions and distractions. The school then complains they have attention issues. No one else sees attention issues and they refuse to recognize that the classroom environment is counterproductive. Its highly distracting to have kids pulled out multiple times a day. Its highly distracting to see kids walking the halls. Young kids don't get why xxx can act that way and why they cannot and will copy behaviors. Some of the kids who have more severe SN are physical with the other kids, like in mine's situation. I worry at some point after getting hit so many times that mine will hit back. Mine will get in trouble, those others will not. Our school claims to be very SN friendly. My child gets services that are not catered to their needs but rather the lowest functioning in that group. Its a waste of time for them to be pulled out of class for things that are not their particular need. The teachers from my observations don't have the experience to deal with all SN and really only understand a few and the rest of the kids are lumped within those SN. When you complain your child is being assaulted daily, they ignore and say there is nothing they can do because of the SN. It was a nightmare getting my child to school daily and on many days they'd come home crying as they were hit, grabbed or somehow attacked multiple times a day. If we could afford private, we would do it. (and agree this doesn't apply to SN only as there are non-SN kids who are very disruptive or mean to other kids but we were lumped in a majority SN classroom)

You are just the kind of person who schools should not let volunteer..keeping track of who might have learning issues who stayed back..people's socioeconomic status. Stay away from the classroom please. You are only there for selfish reasons not to help.

Anonymous wrote:LOL they asked what you wanted and did the opposite. They hate you.

Not necessarily. There are only two classes and it's possible that Op's child was not assigned to the class that her best friend is in because Op's daughter and this friend are giggly/disruptive chatterboxes together. They learn better in school when they aren't in the same classroom together.

Sounds like your child fell victim to being a well behaved high-achiever. Often those kids get placed in the class (and seat) with the children who have behavioral problems. Some people have the assumption that your child will be a role model and then ignore the major issues that start affecting your child.

LOL they asked what you wanted and did the opposite. They hate you.