Anonymous wrote:I married someone who has never been as ambitious as I have. Yes, it's caused problems and I'm not sure if we'll be able to stick it out much longer.

But in this case, OP isn't ambitious either, so it should work out perfectly !

Though he is a low earner would he bring a substantial endowment to the marriage?

Anonymous wrote:I am about to marry a man I love very much but I am concerned about the fact that he doesn't not earn a lot of money. I do not think this is a big deal but I want to go in with eyes wide open about what this means for us as a family. Can anyone tell me its going to be okay?

If you have concerns now it will be worse later. Marrying a low earner is not an issue for all marriages, but it seems like it will be for you. You need to decide what is more important how much he earns or having him in your life. Just be sure to be honest with yourself for both of you.

Anonymous wrote:NP.

Why are the bitter assholes here pretending that it is not OK for people to seek to maximize their wealth in marrying? Marriage is not only a joining of hearts, it is also a merging of finances. What exactly is the point of having a partner if achieving an upper-middle-class lifestyle is entirely on the OP alone?

Yes, but even in the old days, the women had land, dowry, a title/social status something that they brought to the marriage that benefited the guy. It's never one sided. The bottom line is if they can live off his salary for the most part and use what she makes (once she finds another job hopefully making at least 60K or more) for awhile they will be in decent shape. I was making more than DH when we met though I never thought of him as a low earner. In my mind we would live as close to as we could off one salary and the other. Don't immediately step up into spending more right away because you have dual incomes.

The compromises mentioned are true, maybe you rent longer, you end up buying a townhouse instead of a SFH, maybe one child or have the them spaced far apart, maybe you save up (remember living as close as possible on one salary) and stay at home for 2 years, not 5 or longer. Whatever it ends up being, you and your DH have to agree. If you can't agree on the compromises/sacrifices or you want the other person to make all the compromises/sacrifices or vice versa, that's how you end up in marriage trouble.

I married someone who has never been as ambitious as I have. Yes, it's caused problems and I'm not sure if we'll be able to stick it out much longer.

Anonymous wrote:More important that you are on the same page about money. Is he as worried about the debt as you are? Are you both willing to scrimp and save and pay off his debt in five years? Will you forego a fancy wedding and instead use that money towards a Down payment and/or savings. If you want to stay home full time are you willing to live in an apt instead of a house? You could marry a millionaire but if you or he blow through the money it won't matter. and someone making his salary could do well if you play your cards right. Figure out a financial plan that you would feel secure. If he's too blasé about debt and financial planning then it's a red flag.

+1

Yeah Op doesn't earn anything and is critical of him? This can't be a real person