Anonymous wrote:As a nurse practitioner and WTW parent, I would argue that our school system is RESPONSIBLE because it takes a village. Kids spend the majority of their waking lives at school or performing work for school. The teachers at WTW know that homework is a problem and yet most don't do anything to fix it. FCPS also has a teacher task force to look at homework loads, but it's been stalled for two years.The WTW Director of Student Services, Dr. Carlin Floyd, gets it, but most of the administration at WTW and in FCPS Central Administration have their head in the sand. It's time that parents and students STAND UP and make their voices heard! Pleas consider honoring Minjoo's life by making a difference and start Speaking Truth to Power.

+1000 Just try to tell the schools to tone it down. Lately mine have had to do the senior walk around in their accepted college t shirts. Works for those going to elite schools .... not so nice for others. It's been that way since K.

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Anonymous wrote:I have some friends whose kids go to Woodson. They've told me that the environment there is like a pressure cooker. Because the school is known for its high test scores, it's ingrained in the culture that it is very important that it be maintained. Test scores are everything.

That doesn't stand up to the logic test. If that were true, then schools like Langley, McLean, Madison, Oakton and others in the DMV area would also have a lot of suicides... but as far as I know, they don't. Something is going on. I suspect that when it happens once, there is a sense that it's a possibility for other kids. But, something needs to be done.

It's not just because they have a good test record. According to the students I've spoken with, it's the over the top culture of perfectionism and lofty standards, specific to Woodson's administration.

I do not doubt this. My daughter was brought to near emotional collapse at another FFX Cty school due to what she called, her inability to please staff and impossibly high standards. No matter what she did, no matter how high her grades were (and she was a straight A student), she felt as if they wanted her to do more and more and more. The administration of these high schools care only about their numbers it seems.

Agree.

No tragedy fails to bring out Bullis Mom and her gripes against Langley, based on her daughter's one year there (which was five or six years ago). Sigh.

Stop. Just stop.

No. It's Bullis Mom who needs to stop trying to make everything about her. That act - which centers around spreading a narrative about Langley that no one else with kids there recognized - got tired years ago and has not aged well.

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Anonymous wrote:I have some friends whose kids go to Woodson. They've told me that the environment there is like a pressure cooker. Because the school is known for its high test scores, it's ingrained in the culture that it is very important that it be maintained. Test scores are everything.

That doesn't stand up to the logic test. If that were true, then schools like Langley, McLean, Madison, Oakton and others in the DMV area would also have a lot of suicides... but as far as I know, they don't. Something is going on. I suspect that when it happens once, there is a sense that it's a possibility for other kids. But, something needs to be done.

It's not just because they have a good test record. According to the students I've spoken with, it's the over the top culture of perfectionism and lofty standards, specific to Woodson's administration.

I do not doubt this. My daughter was brought to near emotional collapse at another FFX Cty school due to what she called, her inability to please staff and impossibly high standards. No matter what she did, no matter how high her grades were (and she was a straight A student), she felt as if they wanted her to do more and more and more. The administration of these high schools care only about their numbers it seems.

Agree.

No tragedy fails to bring out Bullis Mom and her gripes against Langley, based on her daughter's one year there (which was five or six years ago). Sigh.

Stop. Just stop.

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Anonymous wrote:Too much pressure and I'd say not just on grades. Can you be in a school play - no, can you play on a sports team - no. Can you make the choir you want - no. EVERYTHING is competitive. From the bus stop to book club, I hear over and over how someone's kid did not make the school play, get on a team, etc. And these are talented individuals. You have to be the best of the best.

When/Where I went to school you could do all of those things. Yes, there were talented kids but just about everyone could participate. You felt connected to your school and your friends. Often these kids do not have any friends around as everyone is on a specialized sports team, practicing music for hours, and then doing homework. None of the teens around us seem to just " hang out."

Most colleges say 3 yrs of a foreign language. Someone said 4 is better. Now a lot are doing 5. If you do that, not much time left for an elective. Again, all stress and very little joy.

This. And this is why APS parents are freaking out right now about the potential of a 4,000 student high school. My DS will be a freshman next year and we are sending him to a smaller school to hopefully avoid some of this although I know the pressure is everywhere through their peers even if parents try to lower it.

Woodson is just over 2000 students.

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Anonymous wrote:It's easy to blame the parents but the schools where the student is for many hours a day, push push push the students, mainly for the teachers and especially the coaches jobs and egos.

Huh. I wonder why on earth that could be?
Why would teachers be pushing their students for better performance? Gosh, I never come on here and read post after post of which schools are acceptable. What exactly makes a school acceptable? Oh that's right! Test scores. Teachers are pushed to deliver, by administrators, pushed by parents.

It's the community and it starts in the home.

It doesn't matter how laid back you are at home. When you are in high school, even if you are looking only at state schools, grades matter. So when teachers dump too much homework on kids, it's going to impact even those who aren't from academically obsessed families. Add bullying that the school refuses to address, and that can create major stress for kids. Just because some parents demand crazy standards of the schools, doesn't mean they have to drag us all along with them with excessive homework and projects. It's not like they make it optional for those who would prefer less stress.

This is true. We are a laid back family. Dh and I graduated from Mason and work typical jobs. I am the first to say "eh...close enough" in most situations, and in our home we don't even care about grades as long as the kids are doing their work and trying, and yet my ds has literal panic attacks about homework and grades and tests and not being able to get into college. This is 100% coming from our schools, and I don't know how to stop the freight train. It would take everyone from preshoool to grad school plus parents working together.

In our house, school is a top priority for our kids. If one of our kids gets a low grade on a test or an assignment that is cause for concern because that indicates that they do not understand the material for some reason. We do what we can at home to help them - lots of times it's simply a matter of setting aside time for homework and improving study skills. It is actually way less stressful when the kids stay on top of things and nip problems in the bud before they have a chance to snowball into something insurmountable. Hopefully by the time they get into college, they will have a well rounded education and good study skills.

My heart goes out to the family and friends of this good young man. I feel for his teachers and peers. Such a tragic loss should not be compounded by blame.

Exhibit A

And BTW, less stressful for whom when they stay on top of things? Because I agree 1000% that it's less stressful for me, as a parent when they do. But for the kid? IDK. And, much more to the point, is it less stressful for them to have me on top of them all the time making sure they stay on top of things? They do not seem to think so.

Also, what is a "low grade" in your house. And what do you do when there is "cause for concern"? How do you "nip problems in the bud"? What would you kids do if they got "low grades" their junior year and there was "cause formconcern"? What would they do to avoid you "nipping it in the bud?"

eh, I'm not one of the crazy parents who expects perfection. I also know how badly it sucks to fall behind and flounder in your coursework. That is why I have tried to drum into my kids to stay on top of things. If they get a bad grade - they know that they need to figure out what they did wrong and be sure that they learn the material. A lot of the time it boils down to having to study harder for some classes than they have to in others.

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Anonymous wrote:I have some friends whose kids go to Woodson. They've told me that the environment there is like a pressure cooker. Because the school is known for its high test scores, it's ingrained in the culture that it is very important that it be maintained. Test scores are everything.

That doesn't stand up to the logic test. If that were true, then schools like Langley, McLean, Madison, Oakton and others in the DMV area would also have a lot of suicides... but as far as I know, they don't. Something is going on. I suspect that when it happens once, there is a sense that it's a possibility for other kids. But, something needs to be done.

It's not just because they have a good test record. According to the students I've spoken with, it's the over the top culture of perfectionism and lofty standards, specific to Woodson's administration.

I do not doubt this. My daughter was brought to near emotional collapse at another FFX Cty school due to what she called, her inability to please staff and impossibly high standards. No matter what she did, no matter how high her grades were (and she was a straight A student), she felt as if they wanted her to do more and more and more. The administration of these high schools care only about their numbers it seems.

Agree.

No tragedy fails to bring out Bullis Mom and her gripes against Langley, based on her daughter's one year there (which was five or six years ago). Sigh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have some friends whose kids go to Woodson. They've told me that the environment there is like a pressure cooker. Because the school is known for its high test scores, it's ingrained in the culture that it is very important that it be maintained. Test scores are everything.

That doesn't stand up to the logic test. If that were true, then schools like Langley, McLean, Madison, Oakton and others in the DMV area would also have a lot of suicides... but as far as I know, they don't. Something is going on. I suspect that when it happens once, there is a sense that it's a possibility for other kids. But, something needs to be done.

It's not just because they have a good test record. According to the students I've spoken with, it's the over the top culture of perfectionism and lofty standards, specific to Woodson's administration.

I do not doubt this. My daughter was brought to near emotional collapse at another FFX Cty school due to what she called, her inability to please staff and impossibly high standards. No matter what she did, no matter how high her grades were (and she was a straight A student), she felt as if they wanted her to do more and more and more. The administration of these high schools care only about their numbers it seems.

Agree.

Anonymous wrote:Too much pressure and I'd say not just on grades. Can you be in a school play - no, can you play on a sports team - no. Can you make the choir you want - no. EVERYTHING is competitive. From the bus stop to book club, I hear over and over how someone's kid did not make the school play, get on a team, etc. And these are talented individuals. You have to be the best of the best.

When/Where I went to school you could do all of those things. Yes, there were talented kids but just about everyone could participate. You felt connected to your school and your friends. Often these kids do not have any friends around as everyone is on a specialized sports team, practicing music for hours, and then doing homework. None of the teens around us seem to just " hang out."

Most colleges say 3 yrs of a foreign language. Someone said 4 is better. Now a lot are doing 5. If you do that, not much time left for an elective. Again, all stress and very little joy.

This. And this is why APS parents are freaking out right now about the potential of a 4,000 student high school. My DS will be a freshman next year and we are sending him to a smaller school to hopefully avoid some of this although I know the pressure is everywhere through their peers even if parents try to lower it.

Too much pressure and I'd say not just on grades. Can you be in a school play - no, can you play on a sports team - no. Can you make the choir you want - no. EVERYTHING is competitive. From the bus stop to book club, I hear over and over how someone's kid did not make the school play, get on a team, etc. And these are talented individuals. You have to be the best of the best.

When/Where I went to school you could do all of those things. Yes, there were talented kids but just about everyone could participate. You felt connected to your school and your friends. Often these kids do not have any friends around as everyone is on a specialized sports team, practicing music for hours, and then doing homework. None of the teens around us seem to just " hang out."

Most colleges say 3 yrs of a foreign language. Someone said 4 is better. Now a lot are doing 5. If you do that, not much time left for an elective. Again, all stress and very little joy.

^^^their kids

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a nurse practitioner and WTW parent, I would argue that our school system is RESPONSIBLE because it takes a village. Kids spend the majority of their waking lives at school or performing work for school. The teachers at WTW know that homework is a problem and yet most don't do anything to fix it. FCPS also has a teacher task force to look at homework loads, but it's been stalled for two years.The WTW Director of Student Services, Dr. Carlin Floyd, gets it, but most of the administration at WTW and in FCPS Central Administration have their head in the sand. It's time that parents and students STAND UP and make their voices heard! Pleas consider honoring Minjoo's life by making a difference and start Speaking Truth to Power.

100% true. I made damn sure to let my voice be heard by the administration at my daughter's high school, and also spoke to students at the high school personally, which really pissed them off. Students still approach me on social media because they need someone to talk to who gets it.

Wrong focus. Teacher and adminstrators are merely responding to what the community wants. These threads are constantly focusing on school performance.

Some parents are obsessed about scores. The schools cave to them. The administrators are in a position to say no to the race to nowhere, and they choose not to. What are the parents who aren't supportive of this to do? Tell there kids not to do the hours of homework, take zeroes on projects with insane time commitments....If the schools give the assignments, all kids are stuck doing them, not just those from families that demand the rat race. It's too late for my kid who is close to starting high school, but I hope at some point the administrators say enough is enough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a nurse practitioner and WTW parent, I would argue that our school system is RESPONSIBLE because it takes a village. Kids spend the majority of their waking lives at school or performing work for school. The teachers at WTW know that homework is a problem and yet most don't do anything to fix it. FCPS also has a teacher task force to look at homework loads, but it's been stalled for two years.The WTW Director of Student Services, Dr. Carlin Floyd, gets it, but most of the administration at WTW and in FCPS Central Administration have their head in the sand. It's time that parents and students STAND UP and make their voices heard! Pleas consider honoring Minjoo's life by making a difference and start Speaking Truth to Power.

100% true. I made damn sure to let my voice be heard by the administration at my daughter's high school, and also spoke to students at the high school personally, which really pissed them off. Students still approach me on social media because they need someone to talk to who gets it.

Wrong focus. Teacher and adminstrators are merely responding to what the community wants. These threads are constantly focusing on school performance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to blame the parents but the schools where the student is for many hours a day, push push push the students, mainly for the teachers and especially the coaches jobs and egos.

Huh. I wonder why on earth that could be?
Why would teachers be pushing their students for better performance? Gosh, I never come on here and read post after post of which schools are acceptable. What exactly makes a school acceptable? Oh that's right! Test scores. Teachers are pushed to deliver, by administrators, pushed by parents.

It's the community and it starts in the home.

It doesn't matter how laid back you are at home. When you are in high school, even if you are looking only at state schools, grades matter. So when teachers dump too much homework on kids, it's going to impact even those who aren't from academically obsessed families. Add bullying that the school refuses to address, and that can create major stress for kids. Just because some parents demand crazy standards of the schools, doesn't mean they have to drag us all along with them with excessive homework and projects. It's not like they make it optional for those who would prefer less stress.

This is true. We are a laid back family. Dh and I graduated from Mason and work typical jobs. I am the first to say "eh...close enough" in most situations, and in our home we don't even care about grades as long as the kids are doing their work and trying, and yet my ds has literal panic attacks about homework and grades and tests and not being able to get into college. This is 100% coming from our schools, and I don't know how to stop the freight train. It would take everyone from preshoool to grad school plus parents working together.

In our house, school is a top priority for our kids. If one of our kids gets a low grade on a test or an assignment that is cause for concern because that indicates that they do not understand the material for some reason. We do what we can at home to help them - lots of times it's simply a matter of setting aside time for homework and improving study skills. It is actually way less stressful when the kids stay on top of things and nip problems in the bud before they have a chance to snowball into something insurmountable. Hopefully by the time they get into college, they will have a well rounded education and good study skills.

My heart goes out to the family and friends of this good young man. I feel for his teachers and peers. Such a tragic loss should not be compounded by blame.

Exhibit A

And BTW, less stressful for whom when they stay on top of things? Because I agree 1000% that it's less stressful for me, as a parent when they do. But for the kid? IDK. And, much more to the point, is it less stressful for them to have me on top of them all the time making sure they stay on top of things? They do not seem to think so.

Also, what is a "low grade" in your house. And what do you do when there is "cause for concern"? How do you "nip problems in the bud"? What would you kids do if they got "low grades" their junior year and there was "cause formconcern"? What would they do to avoid you "nipping it in the bud?"

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We're at Fairfax HS. I'm glad that we are not in a pressure cooker environment.

It is naive to think that any FCPS (or MCPS) school is immune from these pressures; they are endemic to the region, and to upper middle class communities all over the country. But I understand that it comforts people to think that the problem is limited to a specific high school.


I agree. LCPS has the same issue. They've lost 2 this year and 4 the year before. There have been recent pushes to educate people on the issue, but the pressure filled, competitive lifestyle isn't going away any time soon.

It's not just the schools, people. Wake up! We are in and out of DC every five or six years. I can compare it to the many other places we have lived. It is a cancer that is endemic to the entire area. This shit starts at home. Unfortunately, it seeps into the lives of the kids with normal parents too. The reason? These hyper competitive, materialistic, power-driven parents are the ones demanding that the schools squeeze their kids till they burst.

Read this forum. It permeates nearly every thread. It's nauseating to those of us who can see it.

It's the meanness that makes me laugh, and I mean that in a condescending way. Anyone who has to be that mean clearly has some serious insecurity issues and is compensating for it by attempting to emotionally beat the F out of people they will never have to face in real life.

Honestly, the moment my last turns 18, I will be spending 1/2 years out of this area whether or not my DH wants to join me. I would have left 20 years ago and he refused.

Anonymous wrote:As a nurse practitioner and WTW parent, I would argue that our school system is RESPONSIBLE because it takes a village. Kids spend the majority of their waking lives at school or performing work for school. The teachers at WTW know that homework is a problem and yet most don't do anything to fix it. FCPS also has a teacher task force to look at homework loads, but it's been stalled for two years.The WTW Director of Student Services, Dr. Carlin Floyd, gets it, but most of the administration at WTW and in FCPS Central Administration have their head in the sand. It's time that parents and students STAND UP and make their voices heard! Pleas consider honoring Minjoo's life by making a difference and start Speaking Truth to Power.

100% true. I made damn sure to let my voice be heard by the administration at my daughter's high school, and also spoke to students at the high school personally, which really pissed them off. Students still approach me on social media because they need someone to talk to who gets it.