Anonymous wrote:DNA tests like 23andme cannot prove paternity. Ethnicity is not inherited in equal parts. Also, it’s probably better to wait until the child can decide on their own to do a DNA test, as they may not want contact with potential relatives.

Ummm 23andme can 100% prove paternity.

You are correct that ethnicity is not inherited in equal parts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your DD have any birthmarks? Like ones that looks blue-ish like a bruise? They are commonly referred to as Mongolian spots (old, non PC term) and are very, very common on black and biracial babies. They usually fade with age.

http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/picture-of-mongolian-spots

Black and mixed race black/white people aren't the only ones who get Mongolian spots- asians do too. I don't know if latinos get them as well, but I wouldn't be surprised.

And so do Caucasians just not as many.

Anonymous wrote:

Novels abounded with the grim story of a baby "as black as pitch" born to an ostensibly white couple. Doesn't happen.

It does. Check the name Sandra Laing in WIkipedia if you doubt this.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandra_Laing During apartheid in South Africa an Afrikaner (Dutch ancestry) white couple had 3 children--2 sons and a daughter. When the daughter started school, other parents complained because she looked "colored"--mixed race. She was expelled from school because under the law she wasn't white.

DNA tests weren't available at the time, but her father did a blood test which just proved he could be her father. Given her parents' political and religious beliefs, it is highly unlikely her mother had an affair. Family heritage was known for 3 generations and it was all white.

I looked up Sandra Laing. Going on features alone, it’s obvious her mom was getting a little side action. There is no way that her legal father was her biological one. They didn’t do a DNA test (those weren’t around). All they did to confirm paternity was a blood test. It’s pretty easy to match on a blood test. Close to 40% of the population regardless of race is O+. I’d hardly call matching blood types as definitive proof of parentage. Dad’s views were obvious, but mom was probably playing along. It’s far more likely that a woman cheated than it is that people with three generations of Dutch ancestry produced a Black child.


If I adopted a child, I would love her, not worry about classifying her. When she’s old enough, she can take a DNA test if she chooses. I’d leave it up to her.

Anonymous wrote:Just do an Ancestry or 23 and Me test. It's an easy swab or spit test and you will know what their DNA is. We did this with our adopted daughter. Her mother claimed to be half Mexican, but the DNA test says she has much more caucasian ancestry than Mexican.

That’s smart of her birth mom; giving her daughter a leg up for college!

Novels abounded with the grim story of a baby "as black as pitch" born to an ostensibly white couple. Doesn't happen.

It does. Check the name Sandra Laing in WIkipedia if you doubt this.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandra_Laing During apartheid in South Africa an Afrikaner (Dutch ancestry) white couple had 3 children--2 sons and a daughter. When the daughter started school, other parents complained because she looked "colored"--mixed race. She was expelled from school because under the law she wasn't white.

DNA tests weren't available at the time, but her father did a blood test which just proved he could be her father. Given her parents' political and religious beliefs, it is highly unlikely her mother had an affair. Family heritage was known for 3 generations and it was all white.

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 thoughts as an experienced transracial adoptive parents.

1) It took my son about 6 months before he settled in to his final coloring.

2) One of my greatest regrets as an adoptive parent is that I didn't insist on paternity tests on every possible father. I regret that I can't answer my son's questions. I also regret that I can't honestly tell him that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that his father would have consented to his adoption. I know that insisting on paternity tests during the time when he was in my arms, but not mine by law, would have ben scary because I would have worried about the possibility that someone would have changed their mind and sued for parental rights. However, there is no doubt in my mind that it would have been the right thing to do.

It's really good to read an adopter who is aware of these ethics issues and who at least had a conscience about the fact that child's father and paternal family may have wanted to raise their child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So a woman can give a baby up for adoption without the consent of the father? How is this not illegal?

If she had sex with multiple men who didn't use protection, there is no telling who the father is. Something no man should be doing in this day and age.

If OPs baby is biracial, they may darker over the next year. Many black people in NC are also bi or tri racial, so the baby may not darken at all, even if she is biracial. Only time will tell.

OP's baby is already in Kindergarten.

Anonymous wrote:So a woman can give a baby up for adoption without the consent of the father? How is this not illegal?

If she had sex with multiple men who didn't use protection, there is no telling who the father is. Something no man should be doing in this day and age.

If OPs baby is biracial, they may darker over the next year. Many black people in NC are also bi or tri racial, so the baby may not darken at all, even if she is biracial. Only time will tell.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So a woman can give a baby up for adoption without the consent of the father? How is this not illegal?

If the father is so concerned about what happens to his sperm, he could actually keep in touch with the woman he put it in.

Or use a condom, don’t have sex with strangers, etc.

Just do an Ancestry or 23 and Me test. It's an easy swab or spit test and you will know what their DNA is. We did this with our adopted daughter. Her mother claimed to be half Mexican, but the DNA test says she has much more caucasian ancestry than Mexican.

Anonymous wrote:Does your DD have any birthmarks? Like ones that looks blue-ish like a bruise? They are commonly referred to as Mongolian spots (old, non PC term) and are very, very common on black and biracial babies. They usually fade with age.

http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/picture-of-mongolian-spots

Meh I wouldn’t go by this 3 of my 4 Caucasian babies had and still have those

Anonymous wrote:OP--No one here knows the answer to your question because every child is unique. Even when both races of parents are known, no one knows. Siblings from the same parents can have very different coloring.

She is asking what race the child is, not what color.

Our friends mixed kids ended up looking like one parent each: Son is blond blue and very light skinned like dad; daughter has brown hair cocoa skin brown/hazel eyes like mom

Anonymous wrote: black dad/white mom kids look white

Look at Heidi Klum's kids with Seal.
You would never know they had a white mom.

Totally different situation. Seal is West African, meaning he likely has no white genes.

Black people in the US have a lot of White heritage (the Slave trade in this country resulted in many female African slaves being raped by their White owners. This was one way for owners to create more slaves).

Your child was born to a junkie and this is what you’re worried about? You need to be more concerned about developmental delays.