Anonymous wrote:
Men: why don't you ever just push your wife up against a wall or throw her down on the bed? Have you ever tried?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ YES to the above! Why can't men understand that we want them to help us 50/50 with the housework and kids but then throw us down on the bed and ravish us on occasion? That is HOT.

Don't they know anything about the kind of erotic fiction women read? That 50 Shades series was poorly written and the premise was dumb but there is a reason it is so popular despite those problems, LOL.

Because not all of us want to be thrown down and ravished. Not all of us find that hot. Speak for yourself not the group.

You might not want that but you can't deny that a LOT of women apparently fantasize about it. More to the point though is that specific combination (dominant in the bedroom, flexible with everything else) is really hard to find and I wonder why.

Men: why don't you ever just push your wife up against a wall or throw her down on the bed? Have you ever tried?

I didn't try to deny it. You however claimed that all women wanted it . I was simply pointing out to you that isn't true.

As for the rest of your post open your mouth and communicate. Marriage is not a fantasy where you pick your partner from a shelf and they come preloaded with info on how to please you. That is not people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ YES to the above! Why can't men understand that we want them to help us 50/50 with the housework and kids but then throw us down on the bed and ravish us on occasion? That is HOT.

Don't they know anything about the kind of erotic fiction women read? That 50 Shades series was poorly written and the premise was dumb but there is a reason it is so popular despite those problems, LOL.

Because not all of us want to be thrown down and ravished. Not all of us find that hot. Speak for yourself not the group.

You might not want that but you can't deny that a LOT of women apparently fantasize about it. More to the point though is that specific combination (dominant in the bedroom, flexible with everything else) is really hard to find and I wonder why.

Men: why don't you ever just push your wife up against a wall or throw her down on the bed? Have you ever tried?

Anonymous wrote:NP. Am I the only Type A woman on here who recognizes herself in the description of that husband? LOL. Knowing what I know now, I wish I had married someone more laid back and go with the flow who would let me handle things because I am objectively better at doing so. I let my husband do our taxes on year and he made a big, expensive mistake. Last time that happened.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ YES to the above! Why can't men understand that we want them to help us 50/50 with the housework and kids but then throw us down on the bed and ravish us on occasion? That is HOT.

Don't they know anything about the kind of erotic fiction women read? That 50 Shades series was poorly written and the premise was dumb but there is a reason it is so popular despite those problems, LOL.

Because not all of us want to be thrown down and ravished. Not all of us find that hot. Speak for yourself not the group.

Anonymous wrote:I would say longevity + happiness = healthiness. I mean, she's telling us that they're both happy (and I would assume this is true, otherwise they'd change things as they've been together for a long time). Who are you to say otherwise? lol. Are we just going to choose not to believe what she's telling us? What's the point in posting on these boards then if we're not going to take anything at face value?

Anonymous wrote:^ YES to the above! Why can't men understand that we want them to help us 50/50 with the housework and kids but then throw us down on the bed and ravish us on occasion? That is HOT.

Don't they know anything about the kind of erotic fiction women read? That 50 Shades series was poorly written and the premise was dumb but there is a reason it is so popular despite those problems, LOL.

Anonymous wrote:I am the DW and while DH can be demanding about certain things, essentially I make all the major decisions in our family, contribute equally financially and am definitely not intellectually or emotionally submissive--I am outspoken, confident, comfortable in my skin and a leader in my field at work. But i do wish that in the bedroom DH would take charge more often. My hottest relationships have been that way--I'm such a control freak in many areas that allowing myself to let go is intense. Unfortunately DH doesn't really know how to go there; it is not a role he assumes naturally.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't do the mail thing, but my husband always manages the family passports on trips. He hands them to the border agent for the family. He also does all the bills and all the taxes. I feel happy in my marriage after nearly 20 years, I think he does too, and our relationship is strong. If he likes to hold the family passports, and I don't, why would that mean anything? PP sounds pretty happy. Why assume otherwise?

It's not just the passports it's the totality of everything. PP doesn't sound happy to me. She sounds fearful and resigned, like she'd like to make some changes but doesn't know how.

I did not pick up on the fearful thing. I think she wants to make changes because she's getting to the age where people DO start dying young, like her friend's husband, and she realizes she's unusually reliant on him. But other than that, she mentions over and over that they're both happy with how things are. I agree with the person who said "If he likes to do X and I don't, why should it matter?" People can overthink this gender role stuff. In a long term relationship that lasts for decades, there should be a lot of mutual dependence imo. If there isn't, THAT can be indicative of a different set of problems.

I don't think dependence is ever a sign of a healthy relationship. Longevity does not equal healthy. That's a mistake many people make.

Anonymous wrote:I've got a good friend, he's mid 30's, a narcissist, but he's that guy in our group of friends who is hilarious, but can be so demanding and self centered at times. He's prone to delusions of grandeur and white lies. He has a good job though. He married a very pretty, but essentially opinion and temper free, woman in her mid 20's, who basically caters to his needs. He kind of belittles her at times, but is generally caring. To the guys out there who are in long term relationships or have been married for a while and the power dynamics are different, and actually equal, or flipped the other way, where the woman is moodier, or more type-a, or demanding than you are...do you wish you'd married someone more docile, agreeable, etc? Someone who would let you lead? This is just a random poll and not an admission that I consider a doormat perfect wife material. Just wondering if you're like "hmm, that could seem less stressful now that I think about it." Anyway, I'm sure there will be some people flaming away at this post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't do the mail thing, but my husband always manages the family passports on trips. He hands them to the border agent for the family. He also does all the bills and all the taxes. I feel happy in my marriage after nearly 20 years, I think he does too, and our relationship is strong. If he likes to hold the family passports, and I don't, why would that mean anything? PP sounds pretty happy. Why assume otherwise?

It's not just the passports it's the totality of everything. PP doesn't sound happy to me. She sounds fearful and resigned, like she'd like to make some changes but doesn't know how.

I did not pick up on the fearful thing. I think she wants to make changes because she's getting to the age where people DO start dying young, like her friend's husband, and she realizes she's unusually reliant on him. But other than that, she mentions over and over that they're both happy with how things are. I agree with the person who said "If he likes to do X and I don't, why should it matter?" People can overthink this gender role stuff. In a long term relationship that lasts for decades, there should be a lot of mutual dependence imo. If there isn't, THAT can be indicative of a different set of problems.

Ok this might be true but how is he dependent on her? All we hear about is how he takes care of all the details and she goes along with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't do the mail thing, but my husband always manages the family passports on trips. He hands them to the border agent for the family. He also does all the bills and all the taxes. I feel happy in my marriage after nearly 20 years, I think he does too, and our relationship is strong. If he likes to hold the family passports, and I don't, why would that mean anything? PP sounds pretty happy. Why assume otherwise?

It's not just the passports it's the totality of everything. PP doesn't sound happy to me. She sounds fearful and resigned, like she'd like to make some changes but doesn't know how.

I did not pick up on the fearful thing. I think she wants to make changes because she's getting to the age where people DO start dying young, like her friend's husband, and she realizes she's unusually reliant on him. But other than that, she mentions over and over that they're both happy with how things are. I agree with the person who said "If he likes to do X and I don't, why should it matter?" People can overthink this gender role stuff. In a long term relationship that lasts for decades, there should be a lot of mutual dependence imo. If there isn't, THAT can be indicative of a different set of problems.