Anonymous
Post 02/06/2017 14:38     Subject: Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
I'm afraid this is why men rule the world. They are able to compartmentalize their emotions and concentrate on the task at hand, while women tend to catastrophize, and get hysterical.

OP, get on some anti-anxiety meds, have sex with your DH, and channel that political energy into some meaningful volunteer work.

Oh, and get off social media for a while.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2017 14:31     Subject: Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
ZachF wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
ZachF wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So ... my husband is a pretty laid back guy, very little phases him. Generally a good thing, and definitely one of the reasons I married him. He, however, doesn't seem to care or worry about or even really acknowledge that Trump's policies are detrimental to this country. He's a very caring guy towards me, but doesn't seem to care about people beyond myself and his family and close friends. It's really really disappointing to see this. I have actually found myself less attracted to him lately. Any advice on how to get over this? We just got married last year.


Who else is he supposed to care about as much as you, his family, and his close friends? Why should he share your exact political beliefs about Trump and the future of our country? Maybe he doesn't feel the need to worry and, unlike you, doesn't spend his time with anxiety about things he can't change instead of focusing on the people closest to him.

Do you talk his ear off about Trump every day? Seriously question? Is there a day you haven't mentioned Trump to him? Could you go a week without getting political and just focus on him, and your family and close friends? If you can't, then it's not him that has a problem.

If you don't stop, he is the one who is going to find you less attractive if you can't stop yammering about Trump and all your fears that you have let effect your relationship with the guy who loved you enough to marry you. I pray he doesn't have to put up with that for 4 more long years.


Oh great, it makes women less attractive to be yammering on about Trump. Nice. Maybe OP's husband should validate her feelings, which have been expressed by millions of people.


I'm glad you understand. Anyone is less attractive if they are so concerned about a politician, even the president, that they let it effect their marriage in a bad way.


You are so wrong ( and you don't know the difference between affect and effect, which definitely makes you less attractive).
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2017 14:27     Subject: Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
OP I understand your concern. My situation is worse like a PP mentioned - my husband voted for Trump and is also happy about how things have been going. Our marriage hasn't been great the past few years, and I am beginning to believe this will end up breaking us. I am struggling with how to respect and trust a partner who thinks what is happening is ok. Trump has crossed so many bright lines that there is no going back at this point, and there is no excuse.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2017 11:04     Subject: Re:Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
Interesting thread.

My DW is constantly complaining, worrying, talking about Trump. She is a SAHM. Her politics are left of mine. That being said, even though I am a Republican, I am also horrified by Trump and cannot wait for this scumbag to get impeached so we can move on to Pence or someone normal.

However, it's not healthy to be this intense. I have told her to shut off the TV for a while and lower her anxiety. America is better than one man, he will not destroy us.
ZachF
Post 02/04/2017 01:29     Subject: Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
Anonymous wrote:
ZachF wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So ... my husband is a pretty laid back guy, very little phases him. Generally a good thing, and definitely one of the reasons I married him. He, however, doesn't seem to care or worry about or even really acknowledge that Trump's policies are detrimental to this country. He's a very caring guy towards me, but doesn't seem to care about people beyond myself and his family and close friends. It's really really disappointing to see this. I have actually found myself less attracted to him lately. Any advice on how to get over this? We just got married last year.


Who else is he supposed to care about as much as you, his family, and his close friends? Why should he share your exact political beliefs about Trump and the future of our country? Maybe he doesn't feel the need to worry and, unlike you, doesn't spend his time with anxiety about things he can't change instead of focusing on the people closest to him.

Do you talk his ear off about Trump every day? Seriously question? Is there a day you haven't mentioned Trump to him? Could you go a week without getting political and just focus on him, and your family and close friends? If you can't, then it's not him that has a problem.

If you don't stop, he is the one who is going to find you less attractive if you can't stop yammering about Trump and all your fears that you have let effect your relationship with the guy who loved you enough to marry you. I pray he doesn't have to put up with that for 4 more long years.


Oh great, it makes women less attractive to be yammering on about Trump. Nice. Maybe OP's husband should validate her feelings, which have been expressed by millions of people.


I'm glad you understand. Anyone is less attractive if they are so concerned about a politician, even the president, that they let it effect their marriage in a bad way.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2017 11:47     Subject: Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband voted for Trump! Oh wait, so did I.

Suck it, liberals! You lost.


Please tell that to the babies (literally babies!) getting detained at airports. You're a selfish monster.


I know, I know. In your perfect world they would have been aborted. (not the pp)
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2017 11:47     Subject: Re:Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
People need to chill out and stop thinking that our country isn't going to handle this episode just fine. Remember, lots of your fellow citizens voted for Obama twice and then voted for Trump; he wouldn't have won without those people in Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and maybe Florida. Trust in our democratic system. All these countries that are supposedly less racist/more progressive -- how many of them would have elected a black man named Barack Hussein Obama twice to be their President/Premier/Prime Minister?
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2017 11:35     Subject: Re:Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:op you should ask yourself if you hadn't been watching the news or on Facebook what would you be upset about? Of course it's important to stay up on current events but it seems things are a bit crazy right now and maybe taking a break from the news could help your relationship.

The only thing I would personally know of had I not been watching the news would be 90 day The federal hiring freeze and that's hardly the end of the world.


I guess you aren't Muslim, an immigrant/green card holder, or a refugee, or have any of them in your world outside the news. Even at my church we discussed the impact of these policies and how we should respond as Christians given Jesus's commandment to love thy neighbor as thyself.


1. Muslims - I know and work with some but they are American citizens. I do not know any Muslims in foreign countries or any affected by the ban.

2. Immigrant / green card - I know immigrants but unaware of anyone from one of the seven banned countries.

3. Refugees - I do not know any refugees personally and I doubt many Americans know refugees overseas. As far as I'm aware, refugees already here aren't affected.

So, that shows that if you not watching the news and only paying attention to what affects you personally, you are missing a great deal.



I think it's safe to say that the vast majority of Americans do not personally know people affected by the ban! I mean how many people have you even met in your life from yemen or Syria? I have met a few and all of them are American citizens.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2017 11:33     Subject: Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
Anonymous wrote:
ZachF wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So ... my husband is a pretty laid back guy, very little phases him. Generally a good thing, and definitely one of the reasons I married him. He, however, doesn't seem to care or worry about or even really acknowledge that Trump's policies are detrimental to this country. He's a very caring guy towards me, but doesn't seem to care about people beyond myself and his family and close friends. It's really really disappointing to see this. I have actually found myself less attracted to him lately. Any advice on how to get over this? We just got married last year.


Who else is he supposed to care about as much as you, his family, and his close friends? Why should he share your exact political beliefs about Trump and the future of our country? Maybe he doesn't feel the need to worry and, unlike you, doesn't spend his time with anxiety about things he can't change instead of focusing on the people closest to him.

Do you talk his ear off about Trump every day? Seriously question? Is there a day you haven't mentioned Trump to him? Could you go a week without getting political and just focus on him, and your family and close friends? If you can't, then it's not him that has a problem.

If you don't stop, he is the one who is going to find you less attractive if you can't stop yammering about Trump and all your fears that you have let effect your relationship with the guy who loved you enough to marry you. I pray he doesn't have to put up with that for 4 more long years.


Oh great, it makes women less attractive to be yammering on about Trump. Nice. Maybe OP's husband should validate her feelings, which have been expressed by millions of people.


Very few men want to come home from work and debate politics with their spouse or hear more hysteria about the latest 6 year old who can't come to the US for free surgery. You obviously know very little about men if you think men are interested in hearing about this. Instead they want you to smile, have sex and make them dinner. Sad, but the truth.

Anonymous
Post 02/03/2017 11:33     Subject: Re:Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:op you should ask yourself if you hadn't been watching the news or on Facebook what would you be upset about? Of course it's important to stay up on current events but it seems things are a bit crazy right now and maybe taking a break from the news could help your relationship.

The only thing I would personally know of had I not been watching the news would be 90 day The federal hiring freeze and that's hardly the end of the world.


I guess you aren't Muslim, an immigrant/green card holder, or a refugee, or have any of them in your world outside the news. Even at my church we discussed the impact of these policies and how we should respond as Christians given Jesus's commandment to love thy neighbor as thyself.


1. Muslims - I know and work with some but they are American citizens. I do not know any Muslims in foreign countries or any affected by the ban.

2. Immigrant / green card - I know immigrants but unaware of anyone from one of the seven banned countries.

3. Refugees - I do not know any refugees personally and I doubt many Americans know refugees overseas. As far as I'm aware, refugees already here aren't affected.

So, that shows that if you not watching the news and only paying attention to what affects you personally, you are missing a great deal.

Anonymous
Post 02/03/2017 11:30     Subject: Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
ZachF wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So ... my husband is a pretty laid back guy, very little phases him. Generally a good thing, and definitely one of the reasons I married him. He, however, doesn't seem to care or worry about or even really acknowledge that Trump's policies are detrimental to this country. He's a very caring guy towards me, but doesn't seem to care about people beyond myself and his family and close friends. It's really really disappointing to see this. I have actually found myself less attracted to him lately. Any advice on how to get over this? We just got married last year.


Who else is he supposed to care about as much as you, his family, and his close friends? Why should he share your exact political beliefs about Trump and the future of our country? Maybe he doesn't feel the need to worry and, unlike you, doesn't spend his time with anxiety about things he can't change instead of focusing on the people closest to him.

Do you talk his ear off about Trump every day? Seriously question? Is there a day you haven't mentioned Trump to him? Could you go a week without getting political and just focus on him, and your family and close friends? If you can't, then it's not him that has a problem.

If you don't stop, he is the one who is going to find you less attractive if you can't stop yammering about Trump and all your fears that you have let effect your relationship with the guy who loved you enough to marry you. I pray he doesn't have to put up with that for 4 more long years.


Oh great, it makes women less attractive to be yammering on about Trump. Nice. Maybe OP's husband should validate her feelings, which have been expressed by millions of people.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2017 11:08     Subject: Re:Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:op you should ask yourself if you hadn't been watching the news or on Facebook what would you be upset about? Of course it's important to stay up on current events but it seems things are a bit crazy right now and maybe taking a break from the news could help your relationship.

The only thing I would personally know of had I not been watching the news would be 90 day The federal hiring freeze and that's hardly the end of the world.


I guess you aren't Muslim, an immigrant/green card holder, or a refugee, or have any of them in your world outside the news. Even at my church we discussed the impact of these policies and how we should respond as Christians given Jesus's commandment to love thy neighbor as thyself.


1. Muslims - I know and work with some but they are American citizens. I do not know any Muslims in foreign countries or any affected by the ban.

2. Immigrant / green card - I know immigrants but unaware of anyone from one of the seven banned countries.

3. Refugees - I do not know any refugees personally and I doubt many Americans know refugees overseas. As far as I'm aware, refugees already here aren't affected.

Anonymous
Post 02/03/2017 11:04     Subject: Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
You might be my sister... Just had the exact same conversation with her.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2017 11:04     Subject: Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
Anonymous wrote:My husband voted for Trump! Oh wait, so did I.

Suck it, liberals! You lost.


You'll lose in the long run.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2017 11:01     Subject: Re:Husband's Lack of Worry Re: Trump
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I understand, OP. It's not about politics; it's about values.


OP here. Yes, absolutely. It feels like we are not aligned on values, which is a tough pill to swallow.


This is tough. If you want the keep your marriage going, don't try to change him, but don't let him try to change you. My DH and I are closely aligned politically speaking but I am probably a more willing to be out there than he is. I'm not trying to get him to go to a rally, volunteer, donate money, or call our elected officials. However, I'll let him know what rally I may go to, what groups I am donating to so he isn't surprised. I look to my friends to provide that sounding board about worries as well as sources of action. Oh, and I pick at least 2 days a week where I stay off social media and don't listen to the news so I can disconnect. I've also started watching the Daily Show to both stay aware and find some humor in recent events. Loved the analogy about Beyonce's announcement.