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Anonymous wrote:Jesus. The first thing I notice is that we are all working our asses off in a high COL place trying to do the best we can with jobs, family, etc. my hous is messier than I would like in an ideal world, and I expect yours will be as well. Truly dirty or messy to the point of hoarding is different, but garden variety 'I didn't have time or energy to clean as I might like' after working all day and dealing with kids, just is a fact of life.

I think all this is fine for day-to-day. But if you can't clean up a bit for guests, then when DO you clean? Don't have guests over.

Absolutely, I should definitely make sure to clean up before a play date with one and four year olds because they won't scatter the toys or mess up the kitchen. I have had plenty of people come over plenty of times so I feel just fine hosting, even if you prima donnas don't approve.

NP. OK, calm down, Defensive Debbie. But it is an iteresting question...can you answer it? If you don't clean up A BIT for guests...when DO you clean?

I will spruce it up before a visit from child protective services.

In the time it took you to comment all over this thread this morning, you could have given your kitchen a once-over, or folded a load of laundry, or de-cluttered a drawer.

And it is her time, her day and her house. She chose to sip a cup of coffee and surf the internet instead of tidying and cleaning.

Well put. But to the extent I have to justify the use of my time, I was actually at work (a concept many of those demanding domestic perfection likely only know vicariously through their husbands) and was taking a 5 minute break while waiting for someone to get me information I needed to continue working on something.

Odors--especially animal smell. People become immune to their own doggy funk.
Animal dander and hair (never forget staying with a friend and wh n I went to get in the bed and tufts of cat hair and dander flew up.) Nasty.
Pills of crap, such that you know they no longer even know what's in them

Like others, I will notice a lot of clutter. By clutter I don't mean "stuff" -- some people have a lot more stuff than I do -- but a clear lack of organization or attention to whatever stuff they have.
Another thing I notice is when things are obviously broken or in total disrepair. Like the porch railing has fallen over and no one bothered to pick it up or fix it.
Now, to another poster's point, I am always grateful to be invited to someone else's home and I am typically happy to just spend time with friends. But to OP's question, these are things I will notice to myself, and will inform my own mental picture of you.
Also, seeing and reflecting on the state of someone's house isn't just about being judgemental. Sometimes a house is a reflection of someone's life. It can tell you something about how well someone is dealing with life, or show signs of being overwhelmed. This was true of a friend. I (and others) watched the level of mess, dirt, clutter, and disrepair of her house build over time and it became clear that her life was spinning out of control. There were other signs, too, but the house was a clear physical signal that confirmed other concerns. And become the impetus for a sort of intervention.

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Anonymous wrote:I only have to see one thing that tells me the whole house is dirty.

refrigerator full of magnets and other things like drawings, photos, cards ...

That alone tells me I need to limit my visit or risk getting sick.

That's bizarre.

+1. That is really bizarre. I collect magnets from every place we travel, and they are all on the fridge. I love it because it's memories of good times. And I dust them periodically, LOL.

The only thing I can see from BizarrePP's post, is if they mean kids drawings = kids = germs. That makes a smidgen of sense because a house with little kids in it will probably have more germs than a house with only 2 adults. A smidgen of sense. The magnets and photos make no sense at all.

I'm never having company again. Who knew there were so many judgmental bitches out there? I understand not wanting to enter squalor, but a lot of what is being described here is just life. Clutter on the dining table? Photos on the fridge? Really?!

Anonymous wrote:I really think that some of the people on this thread are either empty nesters or they have enormous houses.

And either way have cleaning services and tons of time on their hands to be judgmental. If other people's homes gross you out so much, stay home.

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Anonymous wrote:I only have to see one thing that tells me the whole house is dirty.

refrigerator full of magnets and other things like drawings, photos, cards ...

That alone tells me I need to limit my visit or risk getting sick.

How odd. My frig is covered, yet I spent time cleaning the inside, washing out the crisper, etc this morning.

I doubt that.

The outside is cobered in germs and you know it.

Dude seriously? You have issues. I hope you never use public transit, shake hands, or otherwise exit your antiseptic bubble. If the fridge has drawings the people likely have kids, so yes, you may be exposed to whatever germs the kids have. But to assume the place is filthy because there are magnets on the fridge is nuts. You can't escape all germs nor should you try.

covered

as in filth

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only have to see one thing that tells me the whole house is dirty.

refrigerator full of magnets and other things like drawings, photos, cards ...

That alone tells me I need to limit my visit or risk getting sick.

How odd. My frig is covered, yet I spent time cleaning the inside, washing out the crisper, etc this morning.

I doubt that.

The outside is cobered in germs and you know it.

- Dirty dishes in the sink - so disgusting
- an empty toilet paper roll with a new roll sitting on top of it
- stacks of papers, like magazines, old mail, etc.

Clutter doesn't bother me one bit. But what does gross me out is pet hair everywhere or dirt, disgusting unknown substances or just things that are UNCLEAN. I can deal with clutter all day- I don't care if the floor is covered in clothes- so long as the floor underneath is actually CLEAN and not gross, covered food bits or whatever else. That's when I get squicked out

I really think that some of the people on this thread are either empty nesters or they have enormous houses.

Nasty floors and carpets gross me out more than anything. Filthy kitchen sinks, bathrooms, and overflowing trash/wastebaskets. Lots of crap everywhere just indicates a lazy, scattered person to me, too.

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Anonymous wrote:I agree with the above, that "non-obvious dirt" is fine, but clutter everywhere is very noticable. I know many people who moved in YEARS ago and still have entire rooms that are unpacked/not organized. "Guest rooms" where they just keep STUFF.

Here's a hint...if you have boxes and boxes of items you haven't unpacked in years, you don't need that stuff. Throw it away or donate.

1/2 of our guest room is like that. I wish we had the time to go through it. But we tend to prioritize fun weekend activities and vacations over staying home to sort through old stuff. Maybe we will pick a long weekend this year.

You don't have to do it all at once. Pour a glass of wine, put a Netflix movie on your iPad, and clear out one box. It will take you 20 minutes if you are ruthless and efficient, and an hour if you hem and haw. Take the donation items and put them in a bag in your trunk. Put the other items where they belong. Put the storage items (like holiday decor) in proper storage, like garage or basement. You don't have to do it all at once!

What if I have a guest room, but don't have a car, garage, or basement?

If you can't store your stuff properly in the space you have, you have too much stuff. Period. If it has to live in boxes, it's not really part of your home, and it needs to go. There are countless ways you can organize in small spaces--look on Pinterest for ideas. Really, what is in these boxes? High school yearbooks? Old swimming trophies? Pre-baby clothes that you honsetly will never wear again? Aunt Edna's doily collection? GET RID OF IT!

Says you. Maybe when the kids move out and go off to college I'll want to display Aunt Edna's doily collection or convert a room into a library for all of my beloved books. It's my house ya know.

That's fine. But don't call it a guest room. Call it what it is: a dump.

First off, I would never leave a guest room cluttered up with boxes and my stuff and expect a guest to sleep there overnight. When we have guests, anything in that room gets moved out and stored in other bedrooms, the room/bath gets a thorough cleaning, the sheets and towels get freshly laundered and it becomes our guest's personal space. But when the guests leave, the stuff goes right back in the guest room.

NP. That is SO much extra time and energy wasted, every time you have guests. If you just DEALT with the stuff, one box at a time, over the next few weeks, you'd be done with it. And then all you'd have to do for guests is clean that room/make the bed, etc. Instead, you are playing musical chairs with crap you don't need.

I need my wrapping paper and I want my crafts and I would prefer to keep my old books. If I wanted to get rid of it, I would. I would prefer to leave it in the guest bedroom rather than have it clutter up my bedroom. We don't have overnight guest more than a few times a year, I have to clean the room anyway when they come so it works for me.

Besides the obvious things mentioned, dirty door jams! Like where kids grab on when they go around corners