Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: You are not poor. You are not rich.

Sorry, but OP IS "rich" compared to the rest of the country. You can't just think in terms of the D.C private school bubble. OP, the point is your have to teach your kids that they have a lot and why that is -- e.g., you and your husband worked hard to get good jobs, you or your husband grew up with some advantages, you inherited some money, etc., whatever the case may be. Children should know where income comes from and why you have it. You have to teach them not to be bothered by the fact that others have more. Some people were born on third base, while others don't know the rules of the game. Teach them the truth. Don't dwell on your perceived income inferiority. Have them volunteer and interact with people who are truly impoverished.

I hate ignorant posts like this. Taking it a step further, the rest of the US is "rich" compared to many third world countries. Comparisons between high col and low col places are worthless for thinking about OPs question.

Your skewed view of reality is ignorant. The US IS rich compared to 3rd world countries, which OP should also make his/her children understand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: You are not poor. You are not rich.

Sorry, but OP IS "rich" compared to the rest of the country. You can't just think in terms of the D.C private school bubble. OP, the point is your have to teach your kids that they have a lot and why that is -- e.g., you and your husband worked hard to get good jobs, you or your husband grew up with some advantages, you inherited some money, etc., whatever the case may be. Children should know where income comes from and why you have it. You have to teach them not to be bothered by the fact that others have more. Some people were born on third base, while others don't know the rules of the game. Teach them the truth. Don't dwell on your perceived income inferiority. Have them volunteer and interact with people who are truly impoverished.

I hate ignorant posts like this. Taking it a step further, the rest of the US is "rich" compared to many third world countries. Comparisons between high col and low col places are worthless for thinking about OPs question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: You are not poor. You are not rich.

Sorry, but OP IS "rich" compared to the rest of the country. You can't just think in terms of the D.C private school bubble. OP, the point is your have to teach your kids that they have a lot and why that is -- e.g., you and your husband worked hard to get good jobs, you or your husband grew up with some advantages, you inherited some money, etc., whatever the case may be. Children should know where income comes from and why you have it. You have to teach them not to be bothered by the fact that others have more. Some people were born on third base, while others don't know the rules of the game. Teach them the truth. Don't dwell on your perceived income inferiority. Have them volunteer and interact with people who are truly impoverished.

Not when it comes down to disposable income. Most people in this income bracket are simply spending more on taxes, childcare and housing. And as we all know, the housing is more expensive in DC and you don't get as much for your money as you do in say, Kansas. Someone making 250k in this area lives a similar life as a family with one spouse working making 70k in Kansas.

Don't foster a Jay Gatsby-ish inferiority complex!

Anonymous wrote: You are not poor. You are not rich.

Sorry, but OP IS "rich" compared to the rest of the country. You can't just think in terms of the D.C private school bubble. OP, the point is your have to teach your kids that they have a lot and why that is -- e.g., you and your husband worked hard to get good jobs, you or your husband grew up with some advantages, you inherited some money, etc., whatever the case may be. Children should know where income comes from and why you have it. You have to teach them not to be bothered by the fact that others have more. Some people were born on third base, while others don't know the rules of the game. Teach them the truth. Don't dwell on your perceived income inferiority. Have them volunteer and interact with people who are truly impoverished.

I think a lot of posts are from public school parents with no clue. My husband and I both went to public but sent my DD grade 8 to private from K-8. What I found is that it has been an extremely dog eat dog world. The ones at the top of the social pyramid are wealthy. Pretty, athletic, smart kids who have 100k incomes eventually get pushed to the fringes.

We have a 250k income as well as you and my kids have never really been even accepted. We aren't showy so we probably appear poorer than we are. We also work all the time to generate this income so we aren't hosting different events. The funny thing is the tuition at our school is modest as we are in a parochial school...but it seems everyone is wealthy or works really hard to act wealthy.

My kids have very few friends at their private and we often feel out of place. I do think my oldest received a much better education. Our K-5 school was awful..possibly the middle would have been okay. Public HS is very well ranked so we are going to try it. If it doesn't work out, we would move back to private. I think at your income you do need to have pretty tough skin at the 250k income level. People without kids in private will think it's ridiculous but it doesn't make the statement less true.

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who feels inadequate with a 250K HHI needs to pay attention to some of the people with real problems in this world and get a life.

Plus 1 billion

OK have == Oh

OK have, God, who cares. Stop bickering about who the fancy parents are. Is your kid happy? That's all that matters. Full stop.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ Really, PP. I often wonder if some of the parents (father and mother) work. I suspect some live on family trust funds. They are at every school event during the day, are dressed in very casual attire. My kids don't know what other parents do. My son, who is 14, barely knows with his father and I do. The point is I don't think kids care. I know I don't.

You would like to think the kids don't notice. That's different from what they actually experience.

They know more about whose parents are about to split up than what they do for a living.

They know about both. I don't know who these posters are who are saying that kids are unaware of each other's financial situations. That's just not at all true. I went to private school and everyone knew who had more and who had less. I would imagine it wouldn't feel great to be on the side of those who have less, but that probably depends on how different the financial situation is between your family and that of the other families at the school and your child's personality.

I don't think people should be jumping on OP for this post. Why not consider all aspects of how a change to private could impact your child's life.

One family at my kids' school owned a major sports team. My kids could care less. The child was always inviting kids to his home for get togethers and some kids would always go to enjoy the bling but my son found him boring to the point where he asked me to decline future invitations, which I did. You could tell kid was desperate for friends. But, regardless of the socioeconomic status, if the child is obnoxious or a bore, kids won't want to be with them, at least mine won't.

Does anybody else notice the difference here:
- posters saying "I was a private school kid and we all knew who was rich",
vs.
- posters claiming their kids have no idea who's rich.

I wonder if the latter have even discussed this with their kids. I know I wouldn't say something like "were you aware how rich so-and-so's family is?" Who even talks like this to their kids? So then I wonder how much the "my kids couldn't care less" posters actually know about their kids' thoughts on this.

No, that isn't the difference people are making. This is the difference:

- posters saying "I was a private school kid and we all knew who was rich",
vs.
- posters claiming their kids have don't care who is rich and answering the OP's question: No, your DD will not feel out of place because your HHI is $250,000.

They both can be true. A kid can notice that another a family is rich and still not feel out of place. Why is this so hard for folks to understand or believe? That is what what my kids experienced at the Cathedral schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ Really, PP. I often wonder if some of the parents (father and mother) work. I suspect some live on family trust funds. They are at every school event during the day, are dressed in very casual attire. My kids don't know what other parents do. My son, who is 14, barely knows with his father and I do. The point is I don't think kids care. I know I don't.

You would like to think the kids don't notice. That's different from what they actually experience.

They know more about whose parents are about to split up than what they do for a living.

They know about both. I don't know who these posters are who are saying that kids are unaware of each other's financial situations. That's just not at all true. I went to private school and everyone knew who had more and who had less. I would imagine it wouldn't feel great to be on the side of those who have less, but that probably depends on how different the financial situation is between your family and that of the other families at the school and your child's personality.

I don't think people should be jumping on OP for this post. Why not consider all aspects of how a change to private could impact your child's life.

One family at my kids' school owned a major sports team. My kids could care less. The child was always inviting kids to his home for get togethers and some kids would always go to enjoy the bling but my son found him boring to the point where he asked me to decline future invitations, which I did. You could tell kid was desperate for friends. But, regardless of the socioeconomic status, if the child is obnoxious or a bore, kids won't want to be with them, at least mine won't.

Does anybody else notice the difference here:
- posters saying "I was a private school kid and we all knew who was rich",
vs.
- posters claiming their kids have no idea who's rich.

I wonder if the latter have even discussed this with their kids. I know I wouldn't say something like "were you aware how rich so-and-so's family is?" Who even talks like this to their kids? So then I wonder how much the "my kids couldn't care less" posters actually know about their kids' thoughts on this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ Really, PP. I often wonder if some of the parents (father and mother) work. I suspect some live on family trust funds. They are at every school event during the day, are dressed in very casual attire. My kids don't know what other parents do. My son, who is 14, barely knows with his father and I do. The point is I don't think kids care. I know I don't.

You would like to think the kids don't notice. That's different from what they actually experience.

They know more about whose parents are about to split up than what they do for a living.

They know about both. I don't know who these posters are who are saying that kids are unaware of each other's financial situations. That's just not at all true. I went to private school and everyone knew who had more and who had less. I would imagine it wouldn't feel great to be on the side of those who have less, but that probably depends on how different the financial situation is between your family and that of the other families at the school and your child's personality.

I don't think people should be jumping on OP for this post. Why not consider all aspects of how a change to private could impact your child's life.

One family at my kids' school owned a major sports team. My kids could care less. The child was always inviting kids to his home for get togethers and some kids would always go to enjoy the bling but my son found him boring to the point where he asked me to decline future invitations, which I did. You could tell kid was desperate for friends. But, regardless of the socioeconomic status, if the child is obnoxious or a bore, kids won't want to be with them, at least mine won't.

OP, I was at the middle at a top Catholic private in the late 80s-early 90s. Plenty of families had less and plenty had more. Most likely your children will be right in the middle. Your cars are fine. Your cape cod is fine.

Many of my classmates were in the same boat and their parents (like mine) drove 10-15 yo cars because education was more important in their families. You will always find families like that at the local privates and I think you have nothing to worry about.

But I still feel sad about this post.

This makes me sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ Really, PP. I often wonder if some of the parents (father and mother) work. I suspect some live on family trust funds. They are at every school event during the day, are dressed in very casual attire. My kids don't know what other parents do. My son, who is 14, barely knows with his father and I do. The point is I don't think kids care. I know I don't.

You would like to think the kids don't notice. That's different from what they actually experience.

They know more about whose parents are about to split up than what they do for a living.

They know about both. I don't know who these posters are who are saying that kids are unaware of each other's financial situations. That's just not at all true. I went to private school and everyone knew who had more and who had less. I would imagine it wouldn't feel great to be on the side of those who have less, but that probably depends on how different the financial situation is between your family and that of the other families at the school and your child's personality.

I don't think people should be jumping on OP for this post. Why not consider all aspects of how a change to private could impact your child's life.