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Anonymous wrote:You should do IVF. 5% a month isn't cumulative. Each month its5%

OP here. My RE told me it is cumulative. He said I have a 20% chance of getting pregnant with one IVF, or a 30% chance of getting pregnant in 3 years TTC with no treatments. With those poor odds, I decided not to do IVF because I would only be willing to do it one time.

I can't imagine basing my decision entirely on those odds. There are plenty of women who get pregnant at 40 through IVF. Also one time? What if you had frozen embryos? I feel like you're the same poster who posted in the past about your AMH?

I was the poster with the .4 Amh - i happily did 2 ivfs and would have done more but i have a 10 week old! DOR is a different set of rules and needs to be approached aggressively - i would never tell anyone not to try ivf because your odds are low - that's the whole reason to do ivf!

I agree. I also have DOR. AMH of less than .01 at age 37. Did one natural cycle IVF and have my miracle baby. I'm 41.5 and I've had 1 period since he was born.

OP here. I am inspired by your story but how is it possible that one cycle of natural cycle IVF with just one egg allowed you to get pregnant with an AMH of .01? How is it that that one egg that month turned out to be a good one with such low AMH? We've been TTC two years now, and I feel like if I did natural cycle IVF it wouldn't get me anywhere since I've gone through 26 eggs already and all of them were bad.

Because there could be a chance that DH's sperm isn't string enough to penetrate your old eggs. So the DNA material inside is fine. The sperm just needs some help getting in (ICSI).

OP here. We have been thinking about that possibility and my husband wants to try donor sperm IUIs before giving up entirely. He's fine with it, I'm fine with it, but would a clinic allow me to do that? His sperm tests have all been normal.

That makes no sense. The problem isn't with DH's sperm. It's with your old eggs having a harder shell that sperm can't penetrate. Young eggs are like that glass pane in front of a fire extinguisher. Super easy to break. Old eggs is like a windshield. Much harder to break. Young sperm, old sperm won't matter. They will both be going up against your windshield like egg shell. ICSI pierces through the harder shell

At this point, you don't know if it's a problem with your egg shell or old DNA or lining just isn't syncing right. IVF will do things to improve all those areas to give you the best shot possible.

+1. The problem is that OP has made IVF to be a huge deal in her head. Most of what OP has said doesn't make any sense. It's mostly mental at this point. I understand as I've been there. It doesn't make any sense to be okay with undergoing countless IUIs (and the meds that go along with them!) or consider long wait times for adoption but not give normal IVF, which is the best shot you have, a chance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS- if you are okay with donor egg and DH is okay with donor sperm and you are contemplating spending $100K on a GC. Why aren't you exploring adoption?

OP here. We are exploring adoption but we are concerned about substance use among birthmothers. We met with an adoption lawyer and a homestudy agency and both told us our wait is going to be very long (probably 4-5 years, if not more) because we are not comfortable with substance use by a birthmother (minor smoking okay but nothing else). We are also not comfortable with major mental health issues in the birthparents. We were told by the lawyer and homestudy agency that most adoption agencies are going to refuse to work with us because of this. So a GC is a more appealing option.

You seem very focused on what someone tells you regarding a wait or success rate.

You also seem "concerned" about so many things - health risks, substance abuse, wait times etc. You realize people successfully adopt and have IVF babies all the time, right?

OP, I want to say this in kindness. From your posts it sounds like your family is complete with the child you have.

Anonymous wrote:PS- if you are okay with donor egg and DH is okay with donor sperm and you are contemplating spending $100K on a GC. Why aren't you exploring adoption?

OP here. We are exploring adoption but we are concerned about substance use among birthmothers. We met with an adoption lawyer and a homestudy agency and both told us our wait is going to be very long (probably 4-5 years, if not more) because we are not comfortable with substance use by a birthmother (minor smoking okay but nothing else). We are also not comfortable with major mental health issues in the birthparents. We were told by the lawyer and homestudy agency that most adoption agencies are going to refuse to work with us because of this. So a GC is a more appealing option.

PS- if you are okay with donor egg and DH is okay with donor sperm and you are contemplating spending $100K on a GC. Why aren't you exploring adoption?

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should do IVF. 5% a month isn't cumulative. Each month its5%

OP here. My RE told me it is cumulative. He said I have a 20% chance of getting pregnant with one IVF, or a 30% chance of getting pregnant in 3 years TTC with no treatments. With those poor odds, I decided not to do IVF because I would only be willing to do it one time.

I can't imagine basing my decision entirely on those odds. There are plenty of women who get pregnant at 40 through IVF. Also one time? What if you had frozen embryos? I feel like you're the same poster who posted in the past about your AMH?

I was the poster with the .4 Amh - i happily did 2 ivfs and would have done more but i have a 10 week old! DOR is a different set of rules and needs to be approached aggressively - i would never tell anyone not to try ivf because your odds are low - that's the whole reason to do ivf!

I agree. I also have DOR. AMH of less than .01 at age 37. Did one natural cycle IVF and have my miracle baby. I'm 41.5 and I've had 1 period since he was born.

OP here. I am inspired by your story but how is it possible that one cycle of natural cycle IVF with just one egg allowed you to get pregnant with an AMH of .01? How is it that that one egg that month turned out to be a good one with such low AMH? We've been TTC two years now, and I feel like if I did natural cycle IVF it wouldn't get me anywhere since I've gone through 26 eggs already and all of them were bad.

Because there could be a chance that DH's sperm isn't string enough to penetrate your old eggs. So the DNA material inside is fine. The sperm just needs some help getting in (ICSI).

OP here. We have been thinking about that possibility and my husband wants to try donor sperm IUIs before giving up entirely. He's fine with it, I'm fine with it, but would a clinic allow me to do that? His sperm tests have all been normal.

That makes no sense. The problem isn't with DH's sperm. It's with your old eggs having a harder shell that sperm can't penetrate. Young eggs are like that glass pane in front of a fire extinguisher. Super easy to break. Old eggs is like a windshield. Much harder to break. Young sperm, old sperm won't matter. They will both be going up against your windshield like egg shell. ICSI pierces through the harder shell

At this point, you don't know if it's a problem with your egg shell or old DNA or lining just isn't syncing right. IVF will do things to improve all those areas to give you the best shot possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP can you afford an egg donor and a surrogate? Then no hormones at all, and the baby will be biologically your DH's.

It really sounds like you feel the risk of any infertility treatment or the hormones from pregnancy are making you too nervous. If that's your decision that is OK. It is your decision. The risk is low but nothing is without risk. You could also decide to do one round of IVF and then get a complete oopherectomy and hysterectomy and breast removal. Everything has risks and benefits. It's really hard. A lot of us are going through the same decisions and there's not one right answer. Good luck.

OP here. Well, we are thinking about donor egg and surrogate. Though 100K + is really hard to fathom right now. It is really hard. Every day I think about how our family does not feel complete, why I am not able to get pregnant, and what route I should take. It's very stressful and difficult. I've been researching more into a gestational surrogate and oddly enough I met one at a Christmas Party last week who talked to me about the process from the surrogate's point of view, it was very interesting. I'm really paralyzed with fear at this point about doing more infertility treatments.

IVF was such a relief to me because I was finally doing something to get pregnant! As of right now - you aren't doing anything. You're just spending energy worrying about it. IUI most likely won't ever work for you. Same with trying naturally. Sounds like IVF or a surrogate are your only options and both are great options. I'd try and make 2017 about taking action and doing something about this problem. Sitting around wondering why you haven't gotten pregnant or visiting different REs and focusing on success rates won't accomplish anything. Just more energy thinking, which won't get you pregnant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP can you afford an egg donor and a surrogate? Then no hormones at all, and the baby will be biologically your DH's.

It really sounds like you feel the risk of any infertility treatment or the hormones from pregnancy are making you too nervous. If that's your decision that is OK. It is your decision. The risk is low but nothing is without risk. You could also decide to do one round of IVF and then get a complete oopherectomy and hysterectomy and breast removal. Everything has risks and benefits. It's really hard. A lot of us are going through the same decisions and there's not one right answer. Good luck.

OP here. Well, we are thinking about donor egg and surrogate. Though 100K + is really hard to fathom right now. It is really hard. Every day I think about how our family does not feel complete, why I am not able to get pregnant, and what route I should take. It's very stressful and difficult. I've been researching more into a gestational surrogate and oddly enough I met one at a Christmas Party last week who talked to me about the process from the surrogate's point of view, it was very interesting. I'm really paralyzed with fear at this point about doing more infertility treatments.

This is why i would move on to IVF. I found being infertile and worrying way more challenging than IVF. What's great is IVF got me pregnant and now I don't have to stress and worry about infertility anymore. The stress and worry isn't good for you.

Anonymous wrote:OP can you afford an egg donor and a surrogate? Then no hormones at all, and the baby will be biologically your DH's.

It really sounds like you feel the risk of any infertility treatment or the hormones from pregnancy are making you too nervous. If that's your decision that is OK. It is your decision. The risk is low but nothing is without risk. You could also decide to do one round of IVF and then get a complete oopherectomy and hysterectomy and breast removal. Everything has risks and benefits. It's really hard. A lot of us are going through the same decisions and there's not one right answer. Good luck.

OP here. Well, we are thinking about donor egg and surrogate. Though 100K + is really hard to fathom right now. It is really hard. Every day I think about how our family does not feel complete, why I am not able to get pregnant, and what route I should take. It's very stressful and difficult. I've been researching more into a gestational surrogate and oddly enough I met one at a Christmas Party last week who talked to me about the process from the surrogate's point of view, it was very interesting. I'm really paralyzed with fear at this point about doing more infertility treatments.

OP can you afford an egg donor and a surrogate? Then no hormones at all, and the baby will be biologically your DH's.

It really sounds like you feel the risk of any infertility treatment or the hormones from pregnancy are making you too nervous. If that's your decision that is OK. It is your decision. The risk is low but nothing is without risk. You could also decide to do one round of IVF and then get a complete oopherectomy and hysterectomy and breast removal. Everything has risks and benefits. It's really hard. A lot of us are going through the same decisions and there's not one right answer. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do want a second child more than anything. But I am not willing to do traditional IVF. I've done iui with injectibles and that was a negative experience. I am willing to do acupuncture, supplements and more Iuis or natural cycle ivf. But I am brca positive and have a hideous family history of reproductive cancers, breastfeeding, uterine and ovarian. I know that it is extremely unlikely that I will get pregnant naturally, though we continue to try every month. But I am unwilling to take hormones that could adversely affect my health or cause cancer down the line
This is especially so because I have such a low chance of success with ivf statisticslly.
As much as I want a second child I am not willing to put my own health at risk, especially since I already have one child. Does that make sense?

My question is about the hormones issue. How is 10-12 days of IVF hormones (which mimic those your body makes naturally) any worse than 9 (almost 10) months of pregnancy hormones? No snark, just genuinely curious.

OP here. Well no, not all of them "mimic" natural hormones. I was recommended to have an estrogen priming protocol by the RE. That involves taking estrace and Ganirilex before the start of the IVF cycle, then Menopur and Follistim during the cycle plus Ganirilex (I ovulate too early which they think is negatively impacting egg quality). The hormone/med amounts are way more than what the body would gradually experience with a naturally conceived pregnancy. I experienced this when I did my first IUI with Follistim and developed a large uterine polyp from that which had to be removed. The polyp was not there prior to the IUI (did sonohysterogrm right before) then did one after and they saw polyp. So that is an example of how even a small amount of hormones can cause adverse issues. If I got a polyp from an IUI what kind of cancer might develop from a full IVF cycle? Especially since I am already predisposed to a high cancer risk with a horrible family history of reproductive cancers. Also, it might be worth it if I didn't have DOR plus AMA, which already means that IVF has a low chance of working. If I was early 30s with a normal ovarian reserve I would be more inclined to try IVF because my chance of success would be better. When I consider the risks versus the benefits, it doesn't seem worth putting my body through all that for such a low chance of success.

This doesn't make any sense to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do want a second child more than anything. But I am not willing to do traditional IVF. I've done iui with injectibles and that was a negative experience. I am willing to do acupuncture, supplements and more Iuis or natural cycle ivf. But I am brca positive and have a hideous family history of reproductive cancers, breastfeeding, uterine and ovarian. I know that it is extremely unlikely that I will get pregnant naturally, though we continue to try every month. But I am unwilling to take hormones that could adversely affect my health or cause cancer down the line
This is especially so because I have such a low chance of success with ivf statisticslly.
As much as I want a second child I am not willing to put my own health at risk, especially since I already have one child. Does that make sense?

My question is about the hormones issue. How is 10-12 days of IVF hormones (which mimic those your body makes naturally) any worse than 9 (almost 10) months of pregnancy hormones? No snark, just genuinely curious.

OP here. Well no, not all of them "mimic" natural hormones. I was recommended to have an estrogen priming protocol by the RE. That involves taking estrace and Ganirilex before the start of the IVF cycle, then Menopur and Follistim during the cycle plus Ganirilex (I ovulate too early which they think is negatively impacting egg quality). The hormone/med amounts are way more than what the body would gradually experience with a naturally conceived pregnancy. I experienced this when I did my first IUI with Follistim and developed a large uterine polyp from that which had to be removed. The polyp was not there prior to the IUI (did sonohysterogrm right before) then did one after and they saw polyp. So that is an example of how even a small amount of hormones can cause adverse issues. If I got a polyp from an IUI what kind of cancer might develop from a full IVF cycle? Especially since I am already predisposed to a high cancer risk with a horrible family history of reproductive cancers. Also, it might be worth it if I didn't have DOR plus AMA, which already means that IVF has a low chance of working. If I was early 30s with a normal ovarian reserve I would be more inclined to try IVF because my chance of success would be better. When I consider the risks versus the benefits, it doesn't seem worth putting my body through all that for such a low chance of success.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do want a second child more than anything. But I am not willing to do traditional IVF. I've done iui with injectibles and that was a negative experience. I am willing to do acupuncture, supplements and more Iuis or natural cycle ivf. But I am brca positive and have a hideous family history of reproductive cancers, breastfeeding, uterine and ovarian. I know that it is extremely unlikely that I will get pregnant naturally, though we continue to try every month. But I am unwilling to take hormones that could adversely affect my health or cause cancer down the line
This is especially so because I have such a low chance of success with ivf statisticslly.
As much as I want a second child I am not willing to put my own health at risk, especially since I already have one child. Does that make sense?

I find this interesting. I understand medication is involved with IUIs. I also understand it has a low success rate and often takes many rounds, if one of their works. Which is why I skipped the IUI route and went straight to IVF. First round of IVF got me a bunch of frozen embryos. I would prefer to do a round or two of IVF with the medication involved versus do IUI with injectibles over and over again! Seems like this is a similar amount of medication over time but a treatment that has a much less chance of working. I also chose to do icsi and pgs testing. I wanted to pursue every treatment option possible on the first round.

I also have a family history of breast cancer and decided one round of IVF would be easier on my body than multiple IUIs. Now I have no crystal ball - is it possible IUI would have worked the first try? Maybe. But the chances are low. So I did one round of IVF and got a dozen embryos in the freezer. Also keep in mind that stress hormones also cause cancer - so those are good to avoid too!

This was also my approach. I preferred to do IVF once or twice versus keep trying with IUIs. Of course similar to PP, IUI could have worked the first time - I'll never know. But now I have a bunch of frozen embryos.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do want a second child more than anything. But I am not willing to do traditional IVF. I've done iui with injectibles and that was a negative experience. I am willing to do acupuncture, supplements and more Iuis or natural cycle ivf. But I am brca positive and have a hideous family history of reproductive cancers, breastfeeding, uterine and ovarian. I know that it is extremely unlikely that I will get pregnant naturally, though we continue to try every month. But I am unwilling to take hormones that could adversely affect my health or cause cancer down the line
This is especially so because I have such a low chance of success with ivf statisticslly.
As much as I want a second child I am not willing to put my own health at risk, especially since I already have one child. Does that make sense?

I find this interesting. I understand medication is involved with IUIs. I also understand it has a low success rate and often takes many rounds, if one of their works. Which is why I skipped the IUI route and went straight to IVF. First round of IVF got me a bunch of frozen embryos. I would prefer to do a round or two of IVF with the medication involved versus do IUI with injectibles over and over again! Seems like this is a similar amount of medication over time but a treatment that has a much less chance of working. I also chose to do icsi and pgs testing. I wanted to pursue every treatment option possible on the first round.

I also have a family history of breast cancer and decided one round of IVF would be easier on my body than multiple IUIs. Now I have no crystal ball - is it possible IUI would have worked the first try? Maybe. But the chances are low. So I did one round of IVF and got a dozen embryos in the freezer. Also keep in mind that stress hormones also cause cancer - so those are good to avoid too!

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do want a second child more than anything. But I am not willing to do traditional IVF. I've done iui with injectibles and that was a negative experience. I am willing to do acupuncture, supplements and more Iuis or natural cycle ivf. But I am brca positive and have a hideous family history of reproductive cancers, breastfeeding, uterine and ovarian. I know that it is extremely unlikely that I will get pregnant naturally, though we continue to try every month. But I am unwilling to take hormones that could adversely affect my health or cause cancer down the line
This is especially so because I have such a low chance of success with ivf statisticslly.
As much as I want a second child I am not willing to put my own health at risk, especially since I already have one child. Does that make sense?

OP, I understand not wanting to do IVF. We had primary infertility (unexplained yet passed every test with flying colors) and got pregnant on the first round of IVF. But I don't think I'd do it again (we are happily one and done, though).

My question is about the hormones issue. How is 10-12 days of IVF hormones (which mimic those your body makes naturally) any worse than 9 (almost 10) months of pregnancy hormones? No snark, just genuinely curious.