SAHM here. I admit I am one of those people who has a very easy gig now. My kids are grown, and I have a lot of help. I also have money. I slogged my butt off when I was younger and when I had my kids. Thankfully, I know now how hard it is to work at the office, pick up the kids, and pull a shift when you get home - and so I decided that the one thing that will make entire family happy is paid help. I kept the paid help when I became a SAHM, and I doubt if I will ever revert to not having that help.

I salute all the working moms who are working because they have to. I know not everyone is working as a high paying attorney or emergency room dr., and many women are working long hours for lower wages. I know that it is hard to do everything and raise kids too. I know that there is guilt when you miss some event that your child wants you to be in, and I know that your paycheck is a source of great security for your partner and an integral part of your HHI.

My SAH mom raised me to be a WOHM because she always felt that the grass was greener. Then I found that WOH had other costs that I was not willing to pay long term. I am now guiding my DD to a career that will provide her the flexibilty to WOH or SAH as needed, and which will still be sufficiently high paying.

I firmly believe that being a SAHM or WOHM, both has its challenges, and it really requires the husband to be an equal partner for the woman to succeed as a SAHM as well as a WOHM.

The one thing that women can and should do, is really work hard to get a stellar education at school and college and aim for a really high paying job. The financial well being of a woman is linked to the financial wellbeing of her children too. Every woman need to have the ability and skills to earn enough so that she can take care of herself and her kids. After that, it is really up to what hand you are dealt in the marriage and luck department. If you have the money, you can decide to WOH, SAH, WAH or whatever.

Hard to say if you're lazy, but that sounds like an easy gig. The kids are in school for much of the day, right?

Depends who cooks and how many times a month you eat out?

I'm a Sahm with 6 year old twins, a bi monthly cleaners and a DH that frequently travels and comes home from work at 8pm every night when he isn't traveling. Would you guys consider me lazy or say I have an easy gig?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do too. I just don't get paid for it as I see no reason to take a job from someone who needs it. My moral responsibility is my family- always first- and then using my time and resources to help others.

NP here. You sound really classist and patronizing. Please stick to your mom gig and keep your 'help' to yourself.

No- it's annoying to hear what you choose to do constantly demeaned on here. Especially from people I don't believe, like the "human rights lawyer" eho found being a SAHM as a vacation. Talk about patronizing.

Eh, I stayed home for a few years with young kids when I was laid-off during the recession and it took a while to find a job that paid enough to justify the expense of childcare, and while it was a little stressful to have only one income and not know when I would find work again, my life was for sure easier when I was at home in comparison with when I was working.

Do you find that patronizing that I shared this experience?

No, sharing your experience is fine. Nothing wrong with saying, "staying home was easy FOR ME." The problem is that people who had an easy experience often assume that all others have an identical experience. As if all children and family situations are the same.

Not bashed. But it's invalidating other peoples experiences. I'm so glad that the humanitarian lawyer felt like she was on vacation while parenting 3 3 and under and solo parenting 50% of the time with no family or household help. I am also someone who loves staying home and have no interest in adding all of the stress to becoming a two income family to my life. However, it's well known that many SAHM feel isolated, or overwhelmed, or whatever. To say that the job isn't "hard" is stupid. Parenting (and I mean all parts of parenting ~ trying hard to raise empathetic, kind, hardworking kids with as few issues as possible) is absolutely the hardest thing most people do ~ at least, if you are vested in it.

Lets simply stop demeaning different choices ~

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do too. I just don't get paid for it as I see no reason to take a job from someone who needs it. My moral responsibility is my family- always first- and then using my time and resources to help others.

NP here. You sound really classist and patronizing. Please stick to your mom gig and keep your 'help' to yourself.

No- it's annoying to hear what you choose to do constantly demeaned on here. Especially from people I don't believe, like the "human rights lawyer" eho found being a SAHM as a vacation. Talk about patronizing.

Eh, I stayed home for a few years with young kids when I was laid-off during the recession and it took a while to find a job that paid enough to justify the expense of childcare, and while it was a little stressful to have only one income and not know when I would find work again, my life was for sure easier when I was at home in comparison with when I was working.

Do you find that patronizing that I shared this experience?

You all sound pathetic. This is OP.

lmao...the OP struggling to make the SAHM gig work because she can't manage her time well enough to go to the gym is calling people pathetic...the horror.

Do you guys really feel "bashed" when a poster said staying home was like a vacation when compared with working? Some pretty easily offended folks here it seems.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An engineer who couldn't find a job that paid enough to cover childcare?

Firms weren't hiring. I wasn't going to take a lower-paid non-engineering job just to be employed.

You must not be very happy with your career if you feel the need to come on here bashing SAH moms. You clicked on this thread for that very reason. I feel sorry for you.

What was OPs question again?

So, the lower paying non-engineering jobs were taken by the H1B workers?

Anonymous wrote:An engineer who couldn't find a job that paid enough to cover childcare?

Firms weren't hiring. I wasn't going to take a lower-paid non-engineering job just to be employed.

An engineer who couldn't find a job that paid enough to cover childcare?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do too. I just don't get paid for it as I see no reason to take a job from someone who needs it. My moral responsibility is my family- always first- and then using my time and resources to help others.

NP here. You sound really classist and patronizing. Please stick to your mom gig and keep your 'help' to yourself.

No- it's annoying to hear what you choose to do constantly demeaned on here. Especially from people I don't believe, like the "human rights lawyer" eho found being a SAHM as a vacation. Talk about patronizing.

Eh, I stayed home for a few years with young kids when I was laid-off during the recession and it took a while to find a job that paid enough to justify the expense of childcare, and while it was a little stressful to have only one income and not know when I would find work again, my life was for sure easier when I was at home in comparison with when I was working.

Do you find that patronizing that I shared this experience?

You all sound pathetic. This is OP.

lol that's a bit rich coming from a lady with no job who can't figure out when to get to the gym

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do too. I just don't get paid for it as I see no reason to take a job from someone who needs it. My moral responsibility is my family- always first- and then using my time and resources to help others.

NP here. You sound really classist and patronizing. Please stick to your mom gig and keep your 'help' to yourself.

No- it's annoying to hear what you choose to do constantly demeaned on here. Especially from people I don't believe, like the "human rights lawyer" eho found being a SAHM as a vacation. Talk about patronizing.

Eh, I stayed home for a few years with young kids when I was laid-off during the recession and it took a while to find a job that paid enough to justify the expense of childcare, and while it was a little stressful to have only one income and not know when I would find work again, my life was for sure easier when I was at home in comparison with when I was working.

Do you find that patronizing that I shared this experience?

How the hell did someone hire you with this kind if grammar?

Oh, my grasp of English grammar and spelling is atrocious. Luckily as an engineer it doesn't matter too much. I just need to be mostly fluent in English because the math will translate.

And nice typo

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do too. I just don't get paid for it as I see no reason to take a job from someone who needs it. My moral responsibility is my family- always first- and then using my time and resources to help others.

NP here. You sound really classist and patronizing. Please stick to your mom gig and keep your 'help' to yourself.

No- it's annoying to hear what you choose to do constantly demeaned on here. Especially from people I don't believe, like the "human rights lawyer" eho found being a SAHM as a vacation. Talk about patronizing.

Eh, I stayed home for a few years with young kids when I was laid-off during the recession and it took a while to find a job that paid enough to justify the expense of childcare, and while it was a little stressful to have only one income and not know when I would find work again, my life was for sure easier when I was at home in comparison with when I was working.

Do you find that patronizing that I shared this experience?

You all sound pathetic. This is OP.