Anonymous
Post 10/02/2016 22:23     Subject: 3rd grader tickles & calls out
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Year after year I'm having the same issues with my son. He will not keep his hands to himself at school. It's not hurting anyone but it's tickling. I have no idea why he does it or why he won't stop doing it. I've told him to stop and that it's not okay to touch other people and invade their personal space. Additionally, he will not stop calling out in class or correcting other classmates. It's been years of hearing from teachers he lacks self control when it comes to calling out. He is what an observer would call "a know it all". He thinks he knows better than everyone even when I explained he has a lot of learn, let others learn, others learn at their own pace. Etc etc. I've said it all! He has no special education issues. He can't get through one day without arguing with or correcting someone. Anyone with a similar child? Help a mommy out, please.


I haven't read the rest of the thread...

What is his consequence? If you work together with the teacher you should both have specific expectations and then loss of things if he touches/tickles, if he calls out. If he goes without doing them, there should be a positive reinforcement.

I guess I would say:

Any reports of touching, no electronics for the day.
Any reports of calling out, no ______

Good report - 30min of your choice (within a list of offers) after HW

Stick with it EVERY time. Work with the teacher, back her up for every consequence he receives. Don't let the child interfere with their reasons or excuses.


This. Get a behavior chart going at school, make something that he likes to do each afternoon/evening contingent on good behavior. Let him earn points towards something he really wants for each day of good behavior. E.g., if he has 5 good days in a row, on Saturday we get to do x.

Kazdin method is your friend. Get the book.
Anonymous
Post 10/02/2016 22:04     Subject: 3rd grader tickles & calls out
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I read all the responses. Thank you for the thoughtful ones. My son hugs at home and that's about it when it comes to being hands on here. This appears to be an issue that comes out in school. He'll come home and tell me he got in trouble for not keeping his hands to himself and tickling. After some reflection I have come to the conclusion that it must be a social issue. He makes friends on playgrounds, plays with his cousins, and never tickles so I'm wondering if it's school anxiety?? It's the school environment that brings this out.


NP here, OP I wondered about anxiety when I read your initial post and still think it could be part of the problem. That is not an excuse for the behavior, but possible an explanation and a place to start for trying to curb the behavior. I'd try talking with a therapist and sharing your observations. It's possible that CBT could help and would probably involve both parent and child sessions. You know the behavior is inappropriate and are trying to do something about it, good for you. Just don't get caught up in the labels/reasons being excuses, just as something that may give you a starting point for dealing with them.

Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 10/02/2016 19:16     Subject: 3rd grader tickles & calls out
Anonymous wrote:He's a sweet kid. Incredibly bright..and very thoughtful. I just don't want the end result for him to be the class know it all that touches people. Maybe it'll never be 100% fixed but thank you for the strategies, above posters!


You need to stop with the lame excuses. If your kid was harassing my daughter with his tickling I'd go into to the school and be sure it stopped or he was removed. Frankly, it could be this kid is touching kids in their private areas. There is no way I'd put up with your kid and certainly wouldn't say he's so sweet and gifted. Just deal with it.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2016 10:41     Subject: 3rd grader tickles & calls out
Tickling is a mild form of pain for many people. Not to mention it's inappropriate to do at school. If your child cannot understand it's inappropriate and to not do it to others, there's an issue with comprehension or impulse control. You should seek a professional opinion.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2016 17:36     Subject: 3rd grader tickles & calls out
Anonymous wrote:He's a sweet kid. Incredibly bright..and very thoughtful. I just don't want the end result for him to be the class know it all that touches people. Maybe it'll never be 100% fixed but thank you for the strategies, above posters!


He is in 3rd grade. Hasn't he been doing this for the last 4+ years? What have you done to change the behavior? If you and teachers have tried multiple things and you are coming here for help, I think you realize this might be out of your hands. You need someone to evaluate him in class.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2016 17:09     Subject: 3rd grader tickles & calls out
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like your child has sensory processing disorder. Could be a mild version of it but it is definitely tactile and auditory sensory seeking behavior.

http://spdlife.org/symptoms/sensory-seeking.html

There are things you can do to help appease his tactile seeking. Some kids like chewing necklaces, stress balls at their desks, bouncy bands for his feet at his desk, etc...
Kids like this also like cleaning up, sorting, filing, handing things out. Let his teacher encourage those things when he is done classwork instead of sitting at his desk reading.

I would recommend an OT if behaviors do not get better.




This.

OP, many people evaluated for ADD or ADHD do not look for SPD. Your son has major clinical signs of sensory seeking processing disorder. I would recommend he sees an occupational therapist who have more info on PSD than doctors. And the ideas the poster gave above would help, especially the stress ball.


Don't waste your money on it. Its the trendy thing. Its not a real diagnosis. All OT's do it to justify services. OT's are great for concrete needs from fine motor, handwriting and more but not these concerns.


Agreed! The diagnosis is not helpful. Many children are diagnosed with this and then miss real treatment for real disorders. It isn't in the DSM and the American Academy of Pediatrics has come out against it.


It is sensory perception, not a DSM disorder. Some kids with functioning Autism or ADHD have it and other kids without any disorders have it. But go ahead and punish and isolate the kid for something that he just can't handle. It is absolutely NOT normal for a 9yr old to not realize tickling others and talking out in school is not appropriate it. K student? Yes but this child can not control himself and if you punish without helping, you are going to increase his anxiety and make things so much worse.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2016 13:53     Subject: 3rd grader tickles & calls out
He's a sweet kid. Incredibly bright..and very thoughtful. I just don't want the end result for him to be the class know it all that touches people. Maybe it'll never be 100% fixed but thank you for the strategies, above posters!