Also, just to say the other side, my kids are a bit older and soccer is over for us. They both played but now they don't and a little bit, I miss hanging out with kids friends parents on the side lines, watching the kids play and socializing with my friends. Now my kids do different things that don't require me to watch. The good thing is I have some of my weekend back, the bad thing is parents are not involved so I know my kids friends parents less and I don't get to watch my kids. Don't forget these are all stages - my 7 year old played soccer. My 14 year old does not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I should move to Europe. You guys are clearly my people regarding sports. To an outsider it must look like Ameican parents are all trying to create little circus performers. The people I know who have always loved sports and encouraged their children in time-intensive sports are also generally very competitive about everything. They can turn the PTA into a competition, or the size of their house, or how many A's their child gets. Competitive sports is just a great way of getting routine affirmation if you are a very competitive person who needs it. This has nothing to do with people who run or swim or hike for exercise. If you really think you or your child does a competitive sport just for fun, imagine it without the scores or rankings. If you don't still want to do it, I don't think you're in it for the fun.

The thing is colleges don't care if you go for a hike for exercise. They want to see commitment or leadership in a consistent activity- whether that is soccer, other sports, music, or something else. So for parents who want their kids to go to a decent college, it is not that they want a "circus performer," so much as to put their children in a position to be a competitive candidate for college.

That's actually what I figured. Parents are encouraging their 3rd graders to play travel soccer so they can get into a good college in 10 years. That's screwed up to me.

And it often backfires.

My third grader plays travel soccer because he likes to play soccer, and all,of his friends who,like soccer play travel. Has zero tondo with college.

So why does he play year round for so much $$$. Just because he likes to play? That makes no sense. You are keeping up with the Jones' - following the pack.

You are mentally sick. How do you know what previous PP's kid likes or doesn't like?

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. I also hate it. I look at weekends as rare quality family time, and sitting on the sidelines of a practice isn't it. But I have an extreme sport lover, so we do it. I temper it though, two activities a year right now (early elem). We may change it up when he gets older. It's important to me that some weekends are FREE for us.

I don't get why our culture is so programmed to build the individual and there are so few all-family experiences. It's kind of sad. I had kids to be with them, not drive them around everywhere so they can have more hobbies and be a more accomplished adult.

Because America is an individualistic society? Nobody prevents you from doing as many family experiences as you want, but it doesn't mean other families have to do the same. So if you do family picnics or museum trips every Sat morning, there will still be others pounding that ball and hanging on the sidelines. For them it's fun and it's OK.
Finally please note that your children are not puppies or cats that you have in the house to keep you company. They are individuals, by all means divert them from hobbies that you think are detrimental for your family, but realize that the older they get the more outside interest there will be. PS: There is nothing wrong with being an accomplished adult either.

I grew up playing soccer and our weekend plans always revolved around soccer games. My mom hated it but my dad was the one who coached and yelled from the sidelines. I didn't consider it family time. It was mostly a time for parents to be competitive and get all worked up about nothing. I'm sure some kids I knew enjoyed it but most of us were doing it because our parents wanted us to. And they wanted us to because, well, the Joneses were doing it.

We have decided to choose activities for our kids that don't involve regular weekend games/meets/competitions. I just don't want to put them through that.

My kid is older now.

Because he was a high energy kid, a good athlete, and an only child. He got out of the house, got to deal with all kinds of kids, and we all had fun.

Get used to it. Most of us are dragged around after our kid for some reason or can be grumpy, or you can see it as a chance for your kid to thrive, excel and move beyond you.

Soccer, Rex, travel, and rec again, was great fun for my son. I loved watching him be at his best. That is all it is about, no?

Part of our family time is the Saturday soccer game. It lasts all of an hour max, builds friendships, teamwork, exercise, even a social opportunity for parents, etc. It's really not that big of a deal and the benefits far outweigh "giving up" a Saturday which doesn't even happen.

Our kids are part of the county rec league so it's fun and not cut-throat like some other soccer leagues are. Our county rec league divides the players based on their elementary school so my kids are on teams with kids from their class/school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an unathletic mom who didn't do any team sports until high school (although my siblings did swim team before the divorce.) We did Stoddert last year with two girls. I wanted my kids to learn about sports, team work, taking direction from a coach, get some exercise and have fun. I did not want them to end up uncoordinated and shunning team activities like I did.
We have a boat and like to go fishing, camping, visit friends out of town etc. DH was horrified I was "ruining our weekends" - the games start as early as 8:30 and as late at 1 pm.

How did it go? Was your spouse won over, or did it infringe on the weekend?

PP here - I drove one kid every week and DH pitched in, of course he actually got into it (he enjoys schmoozing with the parents more than I do, and likes that the kids are getting exercise)
In DC they only get PE once a week and not enough recess time, so soccer upped their exercise from one day a week to three, which was great. We are enjoying the summer weekends (beach, cabins, boating, water parks) and I will let them decide if they want to sign up again. They are not the kids who are going to qualify for a travel team. Older kid may try softball or Little league baseball this fall (because we told her she's a "natural" - whoops.) At least it's not gymnastics - my friend's kid is pretty good at it, and it is a huge commitment.
RE: College, my nephew started playing hockey in middle school (Dad is from Wisconsin) and although he was never terrific at other sports he really enjoyed hockey. Ended up being the second best player on his regional team in high school and got onto the college team (in Pac 12.) It may have helped him get into college as he was a middling B student. Now he enjoys playing on frozen lakes in winter with his fiance. Thank goodness his mom (my sis) was happy to be a hockey mom. She wanted to do what our parents did not, support them in sports and take an interest in things THEY liked to do, not just thinking about herself on Saturday mornings like our golf dad.

Anonymous wrote:What do people like about weekend soccer? I grew up in an unathletic family, so it's very foreign to me, though I know that some of my neighbors have signed their kids up for soccer since they were three years old. We've been much more laid back on extra curriculars thus far.

Is it really worth giving up our rare free Saturday mornings to join a league like Stoddert so my almost-six year old can stumble over a ball for a few hours? Am I a bad mom for saying no to the pressure to join the school's team?

If I asked my kid, I bet the answer would be "yes, I want to do it." But that's the answer to everything, when in reality, after the long school week, kid loves to stay in PJs and play with home toys until 10am. Not my idea of a fun time to struggle out the door one more day, dragging the toddler along, too. So if you do soccer, tell me, what's great about it?

I am the totally non-athletic mom to a seven year old who asked to sign up for MSI soccer last year. Our daughter was excited to join a team, especially since several of her friends are on the team as well. I agree with other PPs who have said being part of a soccer team has been a great learning experience. There's not much active choice making time in elementary school, so soccer has been a surprisingly good way to learn how to deal with disappointments, learning how to work as a team (no pun intended), and it's been a good source of extra outside playtime.

What I do not love about soccer is the way games are scheduled. Totally get that it's not possible to have a set game time in the way that there's a set weekly practice time, but it makes planning other things really hard when one weekend the game is at 10:30 and the next it's at 1:30.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. I also hate it. I look at weekends as rare quality family time, and sitting on the sidelines of a practice isn't it. But I have an extreme sport lover, so we do it. I temper it though, two activities a year right now (early elem). We may change it up when he gets older. It's important to me that some weekends are FREE for us.

I don't get why our culture is so programmed to build the individual and there are so few all-family experiences. It's kind of sad. I had kids to be with them, not drive them around everywhere so they can have more hobbies and be a more accomplished adult.

Sadly, I don't think it does make them a more accomplished adult. I think kids are so much better off with family time and playing outside with friends learning social dynamics and behavior. Instead we carpool them around to sports and birthdays that are all scheduled events to the minute and the kids are herded like cattle. No self-thought. Kids are entering college intellectually intelligent and completely naive at the same time. Add phones to the mix later and they barely have conversations. It is very sad.

I agree. After school? the kids are in organized activities. Weekends? The kids are in organized activities. Meanwhile kids never play outside, neighborhoods are ghost towns. Heck, even parents don't have time at home. They outsource all lawn care and housekeeping. There is no time when you are trekking your kid from activity to activity. And somehow people follow blindly and think this is the new normal. There is no more community.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I should move to Europe. You guys are clearly my people regarding sports. To an outsider it must look like Ameican parents are all trying to create little circus performers. The people I know who have always loved sports and encouraged their children in time-intensive sports are also generally very competitive about everything. They can turn the PTA into a competition, or the size of their house, or how many A's their child gets. Competitive sports is just a great way of getting routine affirmation if you are a very competitive person who needs it. This has nothing to do with people who run or swim or hike for exercise. If you really think you or your child does a competitive sport just for fun, imagine it without the scores or rankings. If you don't still want to do it, I don't think you're in it for the fun.

The thing is colleges don't care if you go for a hike for exercise. They want to see commitment or leadership in a consistent activity- whether that is soccer, other sports, music, or something else. So for parents who want their kids to go to a decent college, it is not that they want a "circus performer," so much as to put their children in a position to be a competitive candidate for college.

That's actually what I figured. Parents are encouraging their 3rd graders to play travel soccer so they can get into a good college in 10 years. That's screwed up to me.

And it often backfires.

My third grader plays travel soccer because he likes to play soccer, and all,of his friends who,like soccer play travel. Has zero tondo with college.

So why does he play year round for so much $$$. Just because he likes to play? That makes no sense. You are keeping up with the Jones' - following the pack.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I should move to Europe. You guys are clearly my people regarding sports. To an outsider it must look like Ameican parents are all trying to create little circus performers. The people I know who have always loved sports and encouraged their children in time-intensive sports are also generally very competitive about everything. They can turn the PTA into a competition, or the size of their house, or how many A's their child gets. Competitive sports is just a great way of getting routine affirmation if you are a very competitive person who needs it. This has nothing to do with people who run or swim or hike for exercise. If you really think you or your child does a competitive sport just for fun, imagine it without the scores or rankings. If you don't still want to do it, I don't think you're in it for the fun.

The thing is colleges don't care if you go for a hike for exercise. They want to see commitment or leadership in a consistent activity- whether that is soccer, other sports, music, or something else. So for parents who want their kids to go to a decent college, it is not that they want a "circus performer," so much as to put their children in a position to be a competitive candidate for college.

That's actually what I figured. Parents are encouraging their 3rd graders to play travel soccer so they can get into a good college in 10 years. That's screwed up to me.

And it often backfires.

My third grader plays travel soccer because he likes to play soccer, and all,of his friends who,like soccer play travel. Has zero tondo with college.

I couldn't read all 7 pages of this, but I don't see how weekends are "rare family time." They literally come once a week. If your child enjoys sports them join a team and you will understand why it's great fun for them. All three of my kids did it and two hours tops on a Saturday did not ruin weekends for us. It was a fun family activity. Kids learn a lot on teams but if you don't get it, don't do it. No big deal, your kids will be just fine.

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. I also hate it. I look at weekends as rare quality family time, and sitting on the sidelines of a practice isn't it. But I have an extreme sport lover, so we do it. I temper it though, two activities a year right now (early elem). We may change it up when he gets older. It's important to me that some weekends are FREE for us.

I don't get why our culture is so programmed to build the individual and there are so few all-family experiences. It's kind of sad. I had kids to be with them, not drive them around everywhere so they can have more hobbies and be a more accomplished adult.

Sadly, I don't think it does make them a more accomplished adult. I think kids are so much better off with family time and playing outside with friends learning social dynamics and behavior. Instead we carpool them around to sports and birthdays that are all scheduled events to the minute and the kids are herded like cattle. No self-thought. Kids are entering college intellectually intelligent and completely naive at the same time. Add phones to the mix later and they barely have conversations. It is very sad.

Anonymous wrote:If you kid is under 7, then you are talking about a 1 hour committment on Saturdays, 15 minutes of warming up and 40 minutes, roughly, of a 4 v 4 soccer "game."

Either your kid likes it or they don't. If they do, great, if not, move on to something else. Or don't do it at all. Really, no one cares about your kid.

My child is 6 in 1st grade and her rec team has two 1 hour practices and a one hour game on Saturday that required us to get there 30min ahead of time for a "team meeting and warm-up" The last game of the season it was a f'ing monsoon and they wouldn't stop the game. I realized at the moment, these parents, coaches, and organization are insane.

I hear you OP. I also hate it. I look at weekends as rare quality family time, and sitting on the sidelines of a practice isn't it. But I have an extreme sport lover, so we do it. I temper it though, two activities a year right now (early elem). We may change it up when he gets older. It's important to me that some weekends are FREE for us.

I don't get why our culture is so programmed to build the individual and there are so few all-family experiences. It's kind of sad. I had kids to be with them, not drive them around everywhere so they can have more hobbies and be a more accomplished adult.