So much misogyny here - sad.

Anonymous wrote:No hair, no periods, no mean girl drama, no pink and purple everything. It's perfection. Love my crazy boys.

No wedding to pay for, no outrageously expensive prom dresses not to mention the constant need for new clothes, jewelry, hair salon, mani /and pedi.

Anonymous wrote:No hair, no periods, no mean girl drama, no pink and purple everything. It's perfection. Love my crazy boys.

My son colors his fairly long hair various colors. At once.

OP here, thank you 23:12 and 23:21!

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Don't have a child because you need a friend to go shopping with or decorate the Christmas tree with. Be the parent that your child needs you to be instead of trying to make your child into some version of you that fills your own needs. People would go ballistic if a dad posted on here about how he was so disappointed that he was having a girl because she would never share his interest in baseball or video games or fishing. Why is it okay to be disappointed that a boy (who hasn't even been BORN yet for OP) will never fill the role that a daughter could?

Find a friend to shop with. Go on a spa weekend with a bunch of girlfriends. Throw an open house if you want to decorate the tree. Let your child be the person they need to be, and learn to grow into their interests.

Person I quoted, has your mother died? If not, shut up because you don't know what you're talking about. Much love to OP who bravely voiced her inner concerns and asked to hear positive stories about the mothers of sons.

OP I'm with you. My mother is also deceased and although we are waiting to be surprised at the birth I am also worried that I will be devastated if it's a boy. Posting not with any solutions, but to tell you that you're not alone in these feelings.

My cousin was in the same boat and had a boy and she tells me that once the baby is born all those worried go out the window. Here's hoping she is correct!

No hair, no periods, no mean girl drama, no pink and purple everything. It's perfection. Love my crazy boys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing that makes me sad about not having a daughter is that daughters are usually the ones to take care of their elderly parents. I don't mean full-time care. When I go to the doctor or the store, I see that it is usually the middle-aged daughters taking their parents.

Are you sure it is not the daughter-in-law? I do it for my MIL and everyone just assumes I am her daughter.

This makes me doubly sad because I can see my sons remaining bachelors their whole lives.

It's just going to depend on what your child is like, regardless of sex. All children are different, with different temperaments and, raised in different environments that foster different aspects of their personality.

I am a woman who has a terrible relationship with my mother. I rarely talk to her because it's painful. My DH has a very nice relationship with his mother. On the other hand, she confides more in DH's sister than in him.

I have two boys and would have liked also to have had a daughter, though I also wonder if it would have been hard given how fraught my own relationship is with my mom.

I won't lie - my boys are not easy. They fight and are very messy and are difficult to motivate and they both can be quite stubborn and uncooperative. But at the same time they are extremely different from one another. One tells me nothing. The other tells me nothing most of the time, except when he gets chatty and then tells a few things about what's going on in school. Every so often I get an impromptu hug from one and an impromptu back scratching from the other. But they are not sentimental and I don't get any of the "boys adore their mommy" from them. But they can make me laugh and they don't care about clothes or being stylish which is a plus for me because I don't either. Also, they are interested in everything in the world and it is fun to share things with them like a love of the stars and an interest in animals, nature, and history.

Your child will be his own person and who knows what he will be like. I hope you get a wonderful child who brings you joy.

Not read the whole thread but... I have a daddy's girl! I'm looking forward to my relationship with my son!

Maybe it's because I was raised by my dad and never really a girly girl, but I was nervous at the thought of a daughter. Or maybe it's because so many of the daughters of friends and family seem demanding, moody, hyper judgemental and annoyed by everything under the sun. Maybe I was like this myself.

In any case, my only child is a boy and super fantastic. As others have described their sons, he's sensitive, kind, and loving. Certainly rough and tumble but also likes going with me to museums and the botanic garden. He also has an awesome respect for girls and good relationships with several in his cohort at school. I like to think I have something to do with that.

Anonymous wrote:The only thing that makes me sad about not having a daughter is that daughters are usually the ones to take care of their elderly parents. I don't mean full-time care. When I go to the doctor or the store, I see that it is usually the middle-aged daughters taking their parents.

Are you sure it is not the daughter-in-law? I do it for my MIL and everyone just assumes I am her daughter.

The only thing that makes me sad about not having a daughter is that daughters are usually the ones to take care of their elderly parents. I don't mean full-time care. When I go to the doctor or the store, I see that it is usually the middle-aged daughters taking their parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious if anyone anymore is ever disappointed they are having a girl, because they so wanted a boy. I literally never hear this, only mourning over having a boy. It's really interesting to me.

Don't worry. Millions of Indian, Korean and Chinese mothers feel this way. I don't know if any speak up on dcum about it though.

I know of at least three people IRL who admitted they were sad to be having girls (Disney Ate My Daughter; drama; mean girl stuff; expensive clothes. cyberbullying; easting disorders; sexual assault). It definitely goes both ways. And obviously, everyone winds up loving their kids regardless of sex or gender!

I also know of several moms who were disappointed to have girls. But like PP said, somehow DCUM finds that less socially acceptable to post.

As a trend, American families generally prefer girls to boys in adoption and sex selection. Asian families usually prefer boys.

I have two boys, 3 and 1 and we don't plan to have any more kids. I was delighted with either gender but one of my friends did feel bad for me that I don't have a girl since girls are so much closer to their mothers, she believes. I have to say I don't believe that. My husband is much closer to his mom than I am. He calls her more frequently and she visits more than my mom. I think my brother is closer to my mom than I am as well.

I think either way you have to put effort into making a special bond with your child and making them feel loved.