Anonymous
Post 05/25/2016 21:06     Subject: How can I convince my husband to get a vasectomy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Women are in 100% control of their bodies and fully responsible for their decision regarding birth control.

That does not translate to the right to infringe upon another person's bodily integrity by insisting he have a surgical procedure for your convenience.


He doesn't need to get snipped but there is no reason for him to not bear the burden of birth control.


Sure there is, because it fundamentally isn't his burden. His body doesn't have the capability of getting pregnant. Hers does. Women are in control of their bodies, but they're not in control of someone else's. She has no more moral or ethical right to demand her spouse have a vasectomy than he would be to demand she have her tubes tied.

You can't have it both ways, ladies--either you want autonomy, or you don't. With autonomy comes responsibility. If a husband has no right to make reproductive choices for his spouse, then she has to take 100% responsibility for those choices. If she doesn't want to use birth control, that's her decision; if she doesn't want to have sex, that's also her decision. However attempting to put the responsibility for her decisions upon her husband is infantile.


If she were a single woman, sure. But she is part of a union. Both partners are responsible.


OP doesn't feel that way. In any case, if what you're saying were actually true, then a husband would be able to prevent his wife from having an abortion, or force her to have an abortion, or at least have a legal right to take her to court to have a judge decide if they have a difference of opinion over whether a fetus should be aborted, or not aborted. Obviously, no such right exists, at least not in American law.

So you're dead wrong sweety.


Legal rights, WTF? When a couple with a healthy relationship make plans their family I'm pretty sure they don't discuss legal rights.

Anyway, any guy who won't get snipped is falling down on the job and/or seriously sketchy. Are they trying to preserve their fertility for their next family?
Anonymous
Post 05/25/2016 20:32     Subject: How can I convince my husband to get a vasectomy?
Didn't bother to read it all. OP you are in charge of yourself. Just get your tubes tied. What is the problem with taking charge of what you want and getting it?
Anonymous
Post 05/25/2016 20:28     Subject: How can I convince my husband to get a vasectomy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So essentially no one has any advice save for the mandate to strong arm him like a friggin mob boss into doing as he's told - yeah sounds like the makings of a wonderful loving marriage.

We'll see you in a couple months OP when you're seeking advice about divorce. Hopefully you'll get better feedback.


It's not strong arming him. It's putting him in charge of the birth control. He has 3 choices he can make: condoms, snip or no sex. The choice is his.


This is extremely reasonable. OP doesn't want more kids so she is not allowing sperm into her uterus.
Anonymous
Post 05/25/2016 20:26     Subject: Re:How can I convince my husband to get a vasectomy?
The PP who said to have some of his friends talk with him about this is correct. Those guys don't have a vested interest in whether he does it or not and it won't turn into an emotionally charged disagreement. Plus, if they're his friends and still willing to hang out with him, presumably he either doesn't think they've lost their "manhood" or is at least smart enough to know how ridiculous such a statement sounds.

Also, DH didn't go to Obsidian for the procedure, but I know a guy who did and he said it was REALLY fancy and over the top but they apparently do good work.
Anonymous
Post 05/25/2016 20:14     Subject: How can I convince my husband to get a vasectomy?
The 'manhood' thing is just baffling.

He doesn't want to impregnate any more but he wants to know that he can?

Or is he so ignorant that he thinks he'll no longer ejaculate?
Anonymous
Post 05/25/2016 20:13     Subject: Re:How can I convince my husband to get a vasectomy?
Meant to add that after years of trying not to get pregnant and then years of timing our babymaking, it is wonderful to have sex that is completely for pleasure without any concerns. A new chapter in our marriage.
Anonymous
Post 05/25/2016 20:09     Subject: How can I convince my husband to get a vasectomy?
Sorry, Op, that your husband is such an asshole. Seriously, I can't imagine being with someone who is so selfish.

My husband and I decided together when to start our family and how many children to have. When we were finished, he was more than happy to get a vasectomy. (I would have had my tubes tied if I'd had a c-section with our third.) He said it was nothing compared to three pregnancies and births, not to mention the hard work to get my body back.

I agree with the PP's who suggested maybe he needs more information or to talk with someone who's done it. It seems to be extremely common in our social circle (and both my brother and my two brothers in law have had it done.) Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 05/25/2016 20:01     Subject: Re:How can I convince my husband to get a vasectomy?
Anonymous wrote:No vasectomy, no sex. He can decide which he'd rather do. You've done all the work until now. It's his turn.


No wonder so many guys have affairs