Anonymous wrote:What I'm saying you can't judge a person simply on one thing. Being a cheater doesn't make a person wholly bad. Just like being a non-cheater doesn't make a person wholly good.

Of course, we all view ourselves more favorably than anybody else does.

That's true. It's like murder, just because a person had a weak moment doesn't make them bad. Possibly they killed their spouse after finding out they were carrying on an affair and lost it in a "moment" of passion. Doesn't make them wholly bad for sure.

Anonymous wrote:What I'm saying you can't judge a person simply on one thing. Being a cheater doesn't make a person wholly bad. Just like being a non-cheater doesn't make a person wholly good.

Of course, we all view ourselves more favorably than anybody else does.

Of course this is true, although when counting up the good and bad things one has done in life and whether that corresponds to being a 'good' or 'bad' person, as nebulous as those terms are, I think cheating is a pretty heavy item on the scales. Not like murder maybe, but bad. A non cheater may certainly be a scumbag, but they're starting the weigh in with a serious advantage on you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, apart from his affair, I'd have said my ap was honest, generous, and trustworthy.

But, other than that, how was the play Mrs. Lincoln?

The play was fantastic.

What I'm saying you can't judge a person simply on one thing. Being a cheater doesn't make a person wholly bad. Just like being a non-cheater doesn't make a person wholly good.

Of course, we all view ourselves more favorably than anybody else does.

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, apart from his affair, I'd have said my ap was honest, generous, and trustworthy.

But, other than that, how was the play Mrs. Lincoln?

Villains always have an internal narrative that makes them the good guy in their own stories.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, apart from his affair, I'd have said my ap was honest, generous, and trustworthy. I'd trust him. And I think most people would say the same about me. And in reality, this is basically the only thing I've done that isn't honest, open, and trustworthy. I know that sounds ridiculous, because you don't know me, and you can assume all cheaters are liars and frauds and have no integrity. I would trust me in all arenas except for the one in which my ex-ap was standing.

Yes, apart from committing one of the most fundamentally dishonest and hurtful things you can do to another human being, you guys are awesome! You could be my friends for sure.

Except you both make me sick.

You might even know me and think I'm a lovely person. Yes, I'm awesome. As might you be, too, apart from your annoying habit of judging people.

Do you have kids? Because if so I'm with PP. Great that you think you're a lovely person. Even though as long as your DH is a halfway decent person you're doing something extraordinarily hurtful to another human being. Unless you're in the slums of calcutta in your spare time then you really are probably less good a person than you think you are.

You're wasting oxygen. It's like explaining to the sociopath why killing people isn't a good idea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, apart from his affair, I'd have said my ap was honest, generous, and trustworthy. I'd trust him. And I think most people would say the same about me. And in reality, this is basically the only thing I've done that isn't honest, open, and trustworthy. I know that sounds ridiculous, because you don't know me, and you can assume all cheaters are liars and frauds and have no integrity. I would trust me in all arenas except for the one in which my ex-ap was standing.

Yes, apart from committing one of the most fundamentally dishonest and hurtful things you can do to another human being, you guys are awesome! You could be my friends for sure.

Except you both make me sick.

You might even know me and think I'm a lovely person. Yes, I'm awesome. As might you be, too, apart from your annoying habit of judging people.

Do you have kids? Because if so I'm with PP. Great that you think you're a lovely person. Even though as long as your DH is a halfway decent person you're doing something extraordinarily hurtful to another human being. Unless you're in the slums of calcutta in your spare time then you really are probably less good a person than you think you are.

It's an annoying habit of calling it for what it is, lol. A MORE annoying habit is the one who is in complete denial that they are a shit bag in real life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, apart from his affair, I'd have said my ap was honest, generous, and trustworthy. I'd trust him. And I think most people would say the same about me. And in reality, this is basically the only thing I've done that isn't honest, open, and trustworthy. I know that sounds ridiculous, because you don't know me, and you can assume all cheaters are liars and frauds and have no integrity. I would trust me in all arenas except for the one in which my ex-ap was standing.

Yes, apart from committing one of the most fundamentally dishonest and hurtful things you can do to another human being, you guys are awesome! You could be my friends for sure.

Except you both make me sick.

You might even know me and think I'm a lovely person. Yes, I'm awesome. As might you be, too, apart from your annoying habit of judging people.

Anonymous wrote:
No, not cheating. I still think that moral relativism is the way of the world.

Then you are a moron.

Anonymous wrote:
Judge not, yet ye be no judged. I think that is what your moral code professes.

Then you are an ignoramus as well as a moron.

That verse does not warn against the judging of actions and behavior. It warns against hypocrisy. If I judge someone harshly for cheating when I am a cheater, then God will judge me harshly. However, I am not guilty of cheating and therefore my harsh judgment of cheaters is not hypocritical.

Anonymous wrote:
I know the words like character and integrity are pleasant to throw around, but please. Just stop.

They're not just "pleasant to throw around", you ignorant moron, they are the basis for civilization. If everyone is like you, lacking in character and integrity, if everyone believes in "moral relativism", then civilization falls apart.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems that honesty, character, trustworthy, and integrity don't get listed in this thread.

The overwhelming majority of people can't claim those, affairs or not.

If you don't cheat on your spouse you are FAR above the disgusting people in this thread in terms of honesty, character, trustworthiness, and integrity!

No, not cheating. I still think that moral relativism is the way of the world.

Judge not, yet ye be no judged. I think that is what your moral code professes. Stick with it. People find themselves in most unique circumstances. People are fallible. That includes you. I know the words like character and integrity are pleasant to throw around, but please. Just stop.