Anonymous
05/03/2016 09:37
Subject: Re:Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
Despite your protestations to the contrary, OP, I can guarantee you flubbed your planning. Recitals (especially the sort that are $75) aren't scheduled a few weeks in advance, but rather months in advance.
Your only alternative is to reschedule the birthday party. It's rude to the guests to not be there, and it's incredibly unfair and insensitive for you to turn your older son's birthday into a day about his younger brother. You're really playing favorites there in a way that's going to be damaging to your relationship with your oldest at some point. Best not to play that game -- you either say no to going to the recital since you didn't plan well, or you reschedule the party.
Your only alternative is to reschedule the birthday party. It's rude to the guests to not be there, and it's incredibly unfair and insensitive for you to turn your older son's birthday into a day about his younger brother. You're really playing favorites there in a way that's going to be damaging to your relationship with your oldest at some point. Best not to play that game -- you either say no to going to the recital since you didn't plan well, or you reschedule the party.
Anonymous
05/03/2016 09:03
Subject: Re:Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
Anonymous wrote:Even if you can coordinate who needs to be where and when, what about the stuff? Birthday parties always have a cake, and usually have punch, pizza, etc. So you need to show up at the birthday party place with all that as well.
Sounds way too complicated to me. I think you should give this day some kind of military type name. Like Operation Recital Party. Since you are going to need a battle plan involving several people and precision timing.
This. Unless the place is supplying everything (plates, napkins, cups, cake, food, drinks) and setting everything up, someone has to be there before the party.
I get that in an ideal world, the whole family would be able to attend the younger kid's recital. But this is not the real world. Your son will have other recitals. Send one parent to the recital, and one parent to the party place with the birthday kid.
Anonymous
05/03/2016 08:59
Subject: Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
Anonymous wrote:Yeah a PP is right. Recitals notoriously start late, run long, everyone takes forever to get off stage and to their parents and in the car afterward. My assumption would NOT be that everyone can easily make it a "few" minutes late. Parent 1 needs to leave early with Kid 1 to the birthday party and I guarantee you parent and kid 2 who leave after the recital will miss nearly an hour of the party due to the general hullabaloo around recitals and their wrap up.
+1
Never assume "best-case scenario" with a kids' recital.
Anonymous
05/03/2016 06:02
Subject: Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
Yeah a PP is right. Recitals notoriously start late, run long, everyone takes forever to get off stage and to their parents and in the car afterward. My assumption would NOT be that everyone can easily make it a "few" minutes late. Parent 1 needs to leave early with Kid 1 to the birthday party and I guarantee you parent and kid 2 who leave after the recital will miss nearly an hour of the party due to the general hullabaloo around recitals and their wrap up.
Lawrencebrown
05/03/2016 03:59
Subject: Re:Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
I think No . Birthday kid should come with parent. If its a baby child then it depends on the Baby mood.
Anonymous
05/03/2016 03:09
Subject: Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
Anonymous wrote:I think that one unacknowledged point of disagreement between the OP and some of her critics is over WHO is the host of the party. OP (and some of her supporters) presume that the event place is the host, and OP, her kid, and all of his friends are collectively the guests of the event place. They can all show up whenever they'd like, and the event place will take care of them. Others presume that OP and family are hosting the event, and the event place is the backdrop. Both interpretations are reasonable--though I personally fall squarely in the latter camp. We all know that hosts have to be there before the guests. We just can't agree on who the host is.
But what I really chimed in to say is that I'm not sure OP is thinking seriously enough about the worst case scenario. If everything goes EXACTLY right, whatever contingent of the family is coming from the recital will get to the party a few minutes late. If there are ANY unforseen complications--drama leaving the recital (younger child in tears because it didn't go well, child's costume gets mixed up with another child's costume, teacher wants everyone to stay for a group picture, whatever), OR if there's any traffic, some portion of the family is going to be significantly late to the party.
I could have been won over to the idea that it was okay for birthday boy and parents to arrive at the party start time (even if others get there earlier to sign waivers), but it's just WAY too big of a risk to not ensure that the birthday boy and at least one parent will be there by the start of the party.
How is it possible to presume that the event place is the host. I've never heard of an event place that would want to assume that responsibility. People are dropping off 3rd graders, kids far too little to be left somewhere without a responsible adult they can turn to if they need something. No event place would accept being that person. I, personally, would feel a little strange seeing the aunt as the responsible adult also, especially if she weren't staying for the whole time. Regardless of what she is willing to do, it seems like an awfully big and unfair ask of her. If there is a kid who has some kind of complicated need (e.g. epi-pen/diet restriction), you're asking her to do a lot of extra work. And if something actually did happen to a kid, you're putting her in an unfair position, imho.
Having older child attend recital with parents and then having one parent+older child leave early is the obvious solution here. If all else fails, Uber should be readily available to get you where you need to go.
Anonymous
05/02/2016 23:51
Subject: Re:Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We are a one car family.
Alright, maybe the answer is renting a second car. I hadn't thought about that. Thanks
If the aunt is willing to help out, why can't she just pick one parent and the birthday child up from the recital early and drive them there?
Birthday venue is very close to Aunt's house. Recital venue is 30 minutes away. It just adds an hour driving for her before the party. I wouldn't ask unless it really changed the equation and helped the situation. I'm probably already going to be offering to send her and my bro off for date night....
So, the day of the event, you all drive to aunt's house. Split into two cars with one parent and 8yo in aunt's car and the other parent and younger son in your car. You drive two cars to the dance recital. At 4:10, one parent and 8yo get back into aunt's car, and drive back to her house, then three of you go to the birthday venue. Arrive around 4:40, greet guests, be there to actually host, convey to the guests what they are supposed to do, who they are supposed to see if they need waivers signed, find out where to put gifts, coordinate food, whatever. Aunt can stay as long as she likes and drives her car home. After the recital is over, remaining parent congratulates younger on on job well done and they get in the OP's car and drive to the birthday party venue arriving 5:10 or 5:15. All have a good time at birthday and can drive home together as a family.
Anonymous
05/02/2016 23:27
Subject: Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
You need to at least tell the other parents ahead of time that the aunt will be there at drop off instead of you. That way, if they are not comfortable with it, they can make plans to stay vs. drop off.
Anonymous
05/02/2016 22:28
Subject: Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
We just went to a bd party at bounce place. Most parents arrived and we were standing there for good 20 minutes, no bd boy, no his parents, nobody. We all as guests felt very uncomfortable
Anonymous
05/02/2016 22:22
Subject: Re:Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
Even if you can coordinate who needs to be where and when, what about the stuff? Birthday parties always have a cake, and usually have punch, pizza, etc. So you need to show up at the birthday party place with all that as well.
Sounds way too complicated to me. I think you should give this day some kind of military type name. Like Operation Recital Party. Since you are going to need a battle plan involving several people and precision timing.
Sounds way too complicated to me. I think you should give this day some kind of military type name. Like Operation Recital Party. Since you are going to need a battle plan involving several people and precision timing.
Anonymous
05/02/2016 21:48
Subject: Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
Oh my... I really dont think having the aunt be there for the start is a big deal at all. If you want to be sure, just email all the parents in advance as a heads up and your cell phone number. I would not reschedule for missing 15 minutes. There are always conflicts, the next date may have another problem too.
But are you certain that the recital will end when and how you expect? No chance of running long, or there being some post recital festivities or bonding that you will have to rush your kid out of? If you are not sure, you may want to consider the timing and reschedule for this reason.
But are you certain that the recital will end when and how you expect? No chance of running long, or there being some post recital festivities or bonding that you will have to rush your kid out of? If you are not sure, you may want to consider the timing and reschedule for this reason.
Anonymous
05/02/2016 21:05
Subject: Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like a pain in the ass.
And you sound like a plesant person....
Anonymous
05/02/2016 20:57
Subject: Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
OP, you sound like a pain in the ass.
Anonymous
05/02/2016 20:45
Subject: Re:Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
OP, I agree that you should just reschedule the party.
I think it might feel weird to have a birthday party a month after the birthday but… so what? You really want to be at your son's recital and you want the whole family to be there. You didn't know it would be the same day as the day you scheduled your child's birthday party, that's a shame, but stuff happens. So cancel the party and reschedule. Either pick a different type of party that you can do right away (and keep the laser tag or whatever party for next year) or reschedule for whenever you can reschedule for.
I think it might feel weird to have a birthday party a month after the birthday but… so what? You really want to be at your son's recital and you want the whole family to be there. You didn't know it would be the same day as the day you scheduled your child's birthday party, that's a shame, but stuff happens. So cancel the party and reschedule. Either pick a different type of party that you can do right away (and keep the laser tag or whatever party for next year) or reschedule for whenever you can reschedule for.
Anonymous
05/02/2016 20:43
Subject: Can the Birthday Kid be a little late to his party?
other kids will be ok as long as bday boy is present