I'm a PP whose husband is a SAHD. Maybe it's learned helplessness. I know colleagues who are resistant to learning a new skill because it means more responsibility ....

But at the same time, I was willing to hire a housekeeper, and DH dug in his heels against it. He thought it was too snobby, and he didn't want the kids growing up like that (I don't see the problem.) But here's the rub: the household isn't running smoothly, so I'm still stressed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought equality means equal opportunity for all types of lifestyles?

Because SAHMs actually work - they take care of the kids, clean, cook, run errands. SAHDs can barely take care of the kids.

A husband comes home to a cooked dinner, clean house, thriving kids. A woman comes home to a destroyed house, piles of dirty dishes, no dinner while kids didn't do their homework and had chips for lunch. That's basically the difference.

What a sexist comment. Sounds like you just married an incompetent man. Did your DH never learned how to do his own laundry, cook for himself, or clean his house? Most adult men can do these things just fine. And most dads I know are fully capable of taking care of their children.

I agree with PP. The original post was extremely sexist. I'm not sure why people act like men have to be total dummies when it comes to kids and cleaning. It's not rocket science. I used to have to work late in the evenings and DH got home very early. I'd always come home to cooked meals and a clean house on those days. When I go on business travel I never worry about the house or kids because my DH is just as capable as I am, if not more. I'd never have kids with a guy if I felt he couldn't handle basic household chores and if he couldn't take of the kids, then we'd certainly be one and done.

Women need to stop babying men as if they are idiots. I know a single father (wife died) who does an excellent job with his young daughter. Keeps a clean house, takes great care of her, and even does her hair himself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. If I had to put with a wife that whose mentality resembled the DCUM frequenters here, then I'd suck at housework too. Intentionally.

There are some miserable women in this forum. And I swear their life's mission is to make everyone else miserable too. Such a sad life.

I'm the poster who recently wrote about my husband who took DD to the pool at Y and left her there in the lap pool alone, 6 year old, without any safety gear until the facility got closed.

THIS IS WHY I don't want a SAHD. Meanwhile, my husband has a good job and a management position.

What I don't get is that if men are too lazy to operate a dishwasher, how the hell do they get by at work?

NP. But this is why you don't want a SAHD, not many other women

I actually agree with PP. There are too many unfulfilled women on this forum, so the general opinion is always skewed towards some misery