Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife that doesn't want to spend time with me. Yells a lot. Says shit like "you are a fucking moron.". Throws things at me. Hits the kids. Etc. years of this left me unhappy.

I never cheated ... I just said it wasn't worth it. Then I met a girl at work who was just different. One of those people who you instantly connect with. Funny, charismatic, pretty, and most of all intellectually equal. I was immediately attracted, but didn't pursue it.

Over time our work started to coincide more, we realized we were good together as a team at the office and we spent more and more time together. I still didn't see the danger.

I started flirting a bit, mostly cause it irritated her in a sort of humorous way, and I could tell she liked the attention. I still didn't see a problem.

Three months ago we end up going out for drinks with other coworkers - a few leave early and we end up deciding to have a nightcap at her hotel. Bars closed. She suggests room service will have wine, and I agree. Amazingly I still didn't think this would lead anywhere.

An hour later we are in bed making out. I stop her and I leave. As shitty as my life at home is, I'd not cheated in 19 years of marriage.

The next week we end up at a conference in Vegas together. This time I can't say no. I just wanted it: not for the sexual aspect but because I just wanted to feel wanted again. Special. Attractive. Valued. Important.

I know, I'm a piece of shit.

You aren't a POS, you are a saint for putting up with a horrible spouse and going that long without cheating. Go get yourself some more!

It's been emotionally draining. Spend a night with her, stay up till 5am talking, laughing, etc. Come home and get called a "fucking dipshit" because of how I set up the dining room table for dinner (the issue being I set up in the formal dining room, not in the casual eating area). It's exhausting always walking on eggshells.

You are it a saint for not standing up for yourself. Man up, don't put up with abuse and don't justify your own abuse.

Let me guess... U r too lame to get full custody.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife that doesn't want to spend time with me. Yells a lot. Says shit like "you are a fucking moron.". Throws things at me. Hits the kids. Etc. years of this left me unhappy.

I never cheated ... I just said it wasn't worth it. Then I met a girl at work who was just different. One of those people who you instantly connect with. Funny, charismatic, pretty, and most of all intellectually equal. I was immediately attracted, but didn't pursue it.

Over time our work started to coincide more, we realized we were good together as a team at the office and we spent more and more time together. I still didn't see the danger.

I started flirting a bit, mostly cause it irritated her in a sort of humorous way, and I could tell she liked the attention. I still didn't see a problem.

Three months ago we end up going out for drinks with other coworkers - a few leave early and we end up deciding to have a nightcap at her hotel. Bars closed. She suggests room service will have wine, and I agree. Amazingly I still didn't think this would lead anywhere.

An hour later we are in bed making out. I stop her and I leave. As shitty as my life at home is, I'd not cheated in 19 years of marriage.

The next week we end up at a conference in Vegas together. This time I can't say no. I just wanted it: not for the sexual aspect but because I just wanted to feel wanted again. Special. Attractive. Valued. Important.

I know, I'm a piece of shit.

You aren't a POS, you are a saint for putting up with a horrible spouse and going that long without cheating. Go get yourself some more!

It's been emotionally draining. Spend a night with her, stay up till 5am talking, laughing, etc. Come home and get called a "fucking dipshit" because of how I set up the dining room table for dinner (the issue being I set up in the formal dining room, not in the casual eating area). It's exhausting always walking on eggshells.

Anonymous wrote:Wife that doesn't want to spend time with me. Yells a lot. Says shit like "you are a fucking moron.". Throws things at me. Hits the kids. Etc. years of this left me unhappy.

I never cheated ... I just said it wasn't worth it. Then I met a girl at work who was just different. One of those people who you instantly connect with. Funny, charismatic, pretty, and most of all intellectually equal. I was immediately attracted, but didn't pursue it.

Over time our work started to coincide more, we realized we were good together as a team at the office and we spent more and more time together. I still didn't see the danger.

I started flirting a bit, mostly cause it irritated her in a sort of humorous way, and I could tell she liked the attention. I still didn't see a problem.

Three months ago we end up going out for drinks with other coworkers - a few leave early and we end up deciding to have a nightcap at her hotel. Bars closed. She suggests room service will have wine, and I agree. Amazingly I still didn't think this would lead anywhere.

An hour later we are in bed making out. I stop her and I leave. As shitty as my life at home is, I'd not cheated in 19 years of marriage.

The next week we end up at a conference in Vegas together. This time I can't say no. I just wanted it: not for the sexual aspect but because I just wanted to feel wanted again. Special. Attractive. Valued. Important.

I know, I'm a piece of shit.

You aren't a POS, you are a saint for putting up with a horrible spouse and going that long without cheating. Go get yourself some more!

Wife that doesn't want to spend time with me. Yells a lot. Says shit like "you are a fucking moron.". Throws things at me. Hits the kids. Etc. years of this left me unhappy.

I never cheated ... I just said it wasn't worth it. Then I met a girl at work who was just different. One of those people who you instantly connect with. Funny, charismatic, pretty, and most of all intellectually equal. I was immediately attracted, but didn't pursue it.

Over time our work started to coincide more, we realized we were good together as a team at the office and we spent more and more time together. I still didn't see the danger.

I started flirting a bit, mostly cause it irritated her in a sort of humorous way, and I could tell she liked the attention. I still didn't see a problem.

Three months ago we end up going out for drinks with other coworkers - a few leave early and we end up deciding to have a nightcap at her hotel. Bars closed. She suggests room service will have wine, and I agree. Amazingly I still didn't think this would lead anywhere.

An hour later we are in bed making out. I stop her and I leave. As shitty as my life at home is, I'd not cheated in 19 years of marriage.

The next week we end up at a conference in Vegas together. This time I can't say no. I just wanted it: not for the sexual aspect but because I just wanted to feel wanted again. Special. Attractive. Valued. Important.

I know, I'm a piece of shit.

I was a couple of years into a decent marriage, but without a lot of passion. I was definitely struggling a bit with settling into married life, my identity as a wife, etc.

Then I started traveling for work. 1-2 weeks at a time. With a group of men, I was the only woman. We were all in our mid 20s, all either single or newly married, all liked to go out for drinks at the end of the day. It was a recipe for disaster, but I totally had the "I can handle it, I'll NEVER cheat" attitude.

My first near miss was after one of those nights out. Got a little too flirty with one guy. Walking back to our hotel rooms later, we both lingered in the hall while everyone else went into their rooms. He gave me a hug goodnight, made a move to kiss me ... then I pulled back, said no, we can't cheat on our spouses, etc. He nodded, agreed, and walked off. He never made another move on me.

But me? I should have learned my lesson ... but I didn't. I convinced myself that I was really WAS stronger than the desire. I continued my reckless behavior, going into compromising situations, convinced that I could handle it.

A few trips later, I had a similar situation with a different guy. This time, when I started to pull back, he gave me a little space and then started pursuing again. We played cat and mouse for days. I was totally getting off on the attention, telling myself it was just innocent flirtation. Until it wasn't.

I went to his room to drop off some work stuff one evening, and he started kissing me. I started to push him back again ... but then I didn't. I kissed him back. We had sex. Crazy, passionate, all night long sex. The next day, I told him I'd screwed up and shouldn't have done that, and wouldn't do it again. He said ok, but it didn't stop. I ended up carrying on an affair with him for about a year.

Meanwhile, I was still struggling with my marriage. I eventually decided that I couldn't repair my marriage while I was still stepping out (I know, DUH, but sometimes those things are hard to see in the moment). I ended the affair, and doubled down on my marriage. It worked, we are in a much better place now. He never did find out.

I still travel for work, but generally avoid tempting situations now. I know I'm not stronger than the desire.

Anonymous wrote:Just because women don't have drive for their husbands doesn't mean they won't cheat.

Drive? That isn't what causes "near misses." If someone has integrity, they won't cheat.

Just because women don't have drive for their husbands doesn't mean they won't cheat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I have never had the opportunity. I am sure if I did I would have cheated. But looks and age, women are just no interested.

I do think that cheating is much more prevalent among the beautiful people or women. Women have the ability to have sex anytime so it really boils down to attractive men or females cheating.

Mostly just the super attractive men.
Women have constant opportunity but usually don't have enough sex drive to deal with the hassle of cheating.

This is untrue.

Totally untrue. I'm not super attractive and I did have the drive to overcome the "hassle" of cheating.

Who calls cheating a hassle? It was a compulsion, a drive, a desire.

As to the "women have constant opportunity" part: um, read about 4 posts back, it is a woman mentioning how she was constantly being approached. A few other women on this thread posted the same thing. Even women who are not being actively approached, you still have the constant opportunity to just "accidentally" brush against the nearest man and get his sexual attention.

that has never been the case for me. YMMV.

Anonymous wrote:I would never cheat. Until I did.

Cliche scenario. On business travel, in Chicago. Having dinner at the Marriott bar. Attractive woman beside me, small talk turns to more - she is divorced, recently so. We finish dinner and drinks, go to Rush St. Fun, dancing, then back to our hotel. She follows me off elevator to my room and the fun ensued.

Another time, in Cincinnati, similar scenario.

Never kept either of their numbers, and I couldn't tell you their names. A very fun and harmless escape from the monotony of married life. A part of me thinks my DW should do the same, you only live once, and all that.

A husband that I couldn't trust on a business trip who would put my health at risk is someone I would hope get's hit by a bus. It's so scary that you slept with some stranger you didn't know or their past....if they have std's etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I have never had the opportunity. I am sure if I did I would have cheated. But looks and age, women are just no interested.

I do think that cheating is much more prevalent among the beautiful people or women. Women have the ability to have sex anytime so it really boils down to attractive men or females cheating.

Mostly just the super attractive men.
Women have constant opportunity but usually don't have enough sex drive to deal with the hassle of cheating.

This is untrue.

Totally untrue. I'm not super attractive and I did have the drive to overcome the "hassle" of cheating.

Who calls cheating a hassle? It was a compulsion, a drive, a desire.

As to the "women have constant opportunity" part: um, read about 4 posts back, it is a woman mentioning how she was constantly being approached. A few other women on this thread posted the same thing. Even women who are not being actively approached, you still have the constant opportunity to just "accidentally" brush against the nearest man and get his sexual attention.


As to the "don't have enough sex drive part: good for you, PP, but you are an exceptional woman to have a sex drive like that. DCUM is full of posts by low drive women who want their husbands to stop pestering for sex, or alone time before bed, etc. and men who complain about their LD wives. While it's good to hear from occasional women like PP, that does not lessen the truth of my statement.

Grow up.

I was on strict bedrest during my final pregnancy - 12 weeks of full pelvic rest. Guess what. That was not a license for my DH to cheat. Nor would it be a license for me to cheat on him if he were injured or unable. You realize how many older men suffer from impotence, right? Does that mean their wives have a right to seek sexual satisfaction with another person?

You spouse is your partner, not your sex object. You deal with the situations that life throws at you as a couple. Why the hell did any of you get married if you think that the vows were situational?

Great post. Someone that can't be faithful is someone that would be out of my circle fast. That already tells you, if you got sick or got cancer they wouldn't be there for you.

I would never cheat. Until I did.

Cliche scenario. On business travel, in Chicago. Having dinner at the Marriott bar. Attractive woman beside me, small talk turns to more - she is divorced, recently so. We finish dinner and drinks, go to Rush St. Fun, dancing, then back to our hotel. She follows me off elevator to my room and the fun ensued.

Another time, in Cincinnati, similar scenario.

Never kept either of their numbers, and I couldn't tell you their names. A very fun and harmless escape from the monotony of married life. A part of me thinks my DW should do the same, you only live once, and all that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I have never had the opportunity. I am sure if I did I would have cheated. But looks and age, women are just no interested.

I do think that cheating is much more prevalent among the beautiful people or women. Women have the ability to have sex anytime so it really boils down to attractive men or females cheating.

Mostly just the super attractive men.
Women have constant opportunity but usually don't have enough sex drive to deal with the hassle of cheating.

This is untrue.

Totally untrue. I'm not super attractive and I did have the drive to overcome the "hassle" of cheating.

Who calls cheating a hassle? It was a compulsion, a drive, a desire.

As to the "women have constant opportunity" part: um, read about 4 posts back, it is a woman mentioning how she was constantly being approached. A few other women on this thread posted the same thing. Even women who are not being actively approached, you still have the constant opportunity to just "accidentally" brush against the nearest man and get his sexual attention.


As to the "don't have enough sex drive part: good for you, PP, but you are an exceptional woman to have a sex drive like that. DCUM is full of posts by low drive women who want their husbands to stop pestering for sex, or alone time before bed, etc. and men who complain about their LD wives. While it's good to hear from occasional women like PP, that does not lessen the truth of my statement.

Grow up.

I was on strict bedrest during my final pregnancy - 12 weeks of full pelvic rest. Guess what. That was not a license for my DH to cheat. Nor would it be a license for me to cheat on him if he were injured or unable. You realize how many older men suffer from impotence, right? Does that mean their wives have a right to seek sexual satisfaction with another person?

You spouse is your partner, not your sex object. You deal with the situations that life throws at you as a couple. Why the hell did any of you get married if you think that the vows were situational?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I have never had the opportunity. I am sure if I did I would have cheated. But looks and age, women are just no interested.

I do think that cheating is much more prevalent among the beautiful people or women. Women have the ability to have sex anytime so it really boils down to attractive men or females cheating.

Mostly just the super attractive men.
Women have constant opportunity but usually don't have enough sex drive to deal with the hassle of cheating.

This is untrue.

Totally untrue. I'm not super attractive and I did have the drive to overcome the "hassle" of cheating.

Who calls cheating a hassle? It was a compulsion, a drive, a desire.

As to the "women have constant opportunity" part: um, read about 4 posts back, it is a woman mentioning how she was constantly being approached. A few other women on this thread posted the same thing. Even women who are not being actively approached, you still have the constant opportunity to just "accidentally" brush against the nearest man and get his sexual attention.


As to the "don't have enough sex drive part: good for you, PP, but you are an exceptional woman to have a sex drive like that. DCUM is full of posts by low drive women who want their husbands to stop pestering for sex, or alone time before bed, etc. and men who complain about their LD wives. While it's good to hear from occasional women like PP, that does not lessen the truth of my statement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I have never had the opportunity. I am sure if I did I would have cheated. But looks and age, women are just no interested.

I do think that cheating is much more prevalent among the beautiful people or women. Women have the ability to have sex anytime so it really boils down to attractive men or females cheating.

Mostly just the super attractive men.
Women have constant opportunity but usually don't have enough sex drive to deal with the hassle of cheating.

This is untrue.

Totally untrue. I'm not super attractive and I did have the drive to overcome the "hassle" of cheating.

Who calls cheating a hassle? It was a compulsion, a drive, a desire.

uh-huh. And you are incapable of being rational?

What separates us from the animals, people - the ability to THINK. You can be attracted. You can CHOOSE NOT TO ACT ON IT.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life lesson people... Never say never about anything.

I will never join ISIS... OMG ... here I go to Syria... NOT.

You are simply being stupid.