Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I was DH, I would remain calm and pretty much do what he did. Behind the scenes I'd be getting my shit in order. Hiring a lawyer, transferring funds to an account that's private, consulting financial advisors about the best options in selling the home to maximize my income and then serving divorce papers. Chances are this has been going on a while and this isn't the first time. Your brazen behavior suggests to me you didn't think you'd get caught.

inwouldnt waste time either. I'd be at the attorney's office the next morning.

Well that would be idiotic.

When I found out about my ex's cheating, I immediately transferred half of our savings from our joint account to my account. I wasn't planning to spend it or hide it, but for all I knew my then spouse was about to empty our accounts and disappear-and I still had a child to take care of.

My friend had a lawyer who said to go ahead and take whatever money she could. Since they weren't separated nothing filed anything joint the other could take. She maxed out the home equity loan that he forgot about. He almost blew a gasket when he found out.

That's wonderful except that she is responsible for half of all the marital debts. taking out home loan debt prior to divorce is idiotic. In VA its a joint asset. Everything gets split 50/50... assets and debts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I was DH, I would remain calm and pretty much do what he did. Behind the scenes I'd be getting my shit in order. Hiring a lawyer, transferring funds to an account that's private, consulting financial advisors about the best options in selling the home to maximize my income and then serving divorce papers. Chances are this has been going on a while and this isn't the first time. Your brazen behavior suggests to me you didn't think you'd get caught.

inwouldnt waste time either. I'd be at the attorney's office the next morning.

Well that would be idiotic.

When I found out about my ex's cheating, I immediately transferred half of our savings from our joint account to my account. I wasn't planning to spend it or hide it, but for all I knew my then spouse was about to empty our accounts and disappear-and I still had a child to take care of.

My friend had a lawyer who said to go ahead and take whatever money she could. Since they weren't separated nothing filed anything joint the other could take. She maxed out the home equity loan that he forgot about. He almost blew a gasket when he found out.

OP you can't turn the clock back. No matter what happens, you need to take your medicine. If you get divorced consider it a learning experience for your next relationship. I can't tell you how many men I've seen cheat, then cry and complain that they are being raped in divorce court having to pay so much child support. They cry about the retirement being cut in half, home having to be sold or DW/kids get it. I think to myself, this is what YOU chose. It was pretty foreseeable imo. Sadly OP, this is the other part of cheating that unfortunately effects not just you but your family. When you cheated on DH you also cheated on DD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I was DH, I would remain calm and pretty much do what he did. Behind the scenes I'd be getting my shit in order. Hiring a lawyer, transferring funds to an account that's private, consulting financial advisors about the best options in selling the home to maximize my income and then serving divorce papers. Chances are this has been going on a while and this isn't the first time. Your brazen behavior suggests to me you didn't think you'd get caught.

inwouldnt waste time either. I'd be at the attorney's office the next morning.

Well that would be idiotic.

When I found out about my ex's cheating, I immediately transferred half of our savings from our joint account to my account. I wasn't planning to spend it or hide it, but for all I knew my then spouse was about to empty our accounts and disappear-and I still had a child to take care of.

13:52 again, there is also nothing you can say to your daughter. Your character is forever tarnished to her. I do mean forever. She will still love you. You'll still be her mom. But there's going to be no hero worship, no gooey Mother's Day messages about how she hopes she can be half the woman you were. Her biggest goal as a parent will to never do to her kids what you did to her. Whatever happens in your marriage, that's the real price you pay for this.

This happened to me when I was about 8. My dad was on a business trip. My mom had the other guy over to our house. I agonized over whether telling my dad or not was the bigger betrayal. anyway, you're an asshole for doing this anyplace your kids ever had a chance of seeing.