We lived in a small, close-knit neighborhood in NOVA and we were the disfavored neighbors for reasons we still don't quite understand (although we know it started with where we placed our trash cans and the fact that for the first several months, we weren't good with lawn care for our little postage stamp yard - after which we hired a lawn service). if you think it's bad being on a big lot with neighbors who are disinterested, try being in a small row house with neighbors who snub you repeatedly.

We now live in a larger, beautiful home with neighbors who are far enough away that we don't feel monitored all the time. Oh, the liberation! We are so much happier.

OP, I would not sell at a loss, it makes no sense financially. I would lower my expectations too. I don't know if you have a super social personality or it's the staying at home that makes you crave socialization, but I would never rely on the neighbors to meet my social needs. Volunteering, interests groups, mom groups - yes, next door neighbor? Not so much. Sometimes the stars align and you make a real friend, but counting on it is a bit of a stretch. I think your neighborhood is normal. There are always annoying people (boat, dogs, glares). Guess what, you may be annoying to some as well Just carry on, or glare back if it pleases you. Make a meow sound to the dogs

OP- I think it depends on your personality and what you really want. My husband and I love our townhouse community so much because of all the relationships that we've built here. We have neighbors that we have get togethers with practically on a weekly basis. During the snow storm, we had an impromptu party, and just yesterday afternoon, my house was filled with neighborhood kids. We are not in a "good" school district, or at least greatschools says we're not, but what we have here will be extremely hard to leave behind if we ever have to. Life is short. If a community feel is very important to you, then you should go for it. If you move to MD, come join us in Gaithersburg! Seriously though, I think if you're going to make a move, you need to find a fairly new development as lots of young families tend to live there.

Now, for a somewhat funny story. I remember taking my kids to the pool one summer and a woman was there with her kids. I didn't say a thing to her, she didn't say a thing to me. Our kids didn't play all that near each other in the pool.

But when we were leaving I walked past her, I smiled and nodded and she looked at me with this disgusted/seriously offended look on her face - like "How dare you!". Took me aback I can tell you that.

To this day I have no clue what her problem was. I never saw her again after that summer that I recall.

You can only control YOU, Op. Be nice. Don't gossip. Be kind. You'll be o.k.

It is weird that someone would go outside to do yard work in their own yard (trim shrubs!) for the purpose of gawking at Op and her little kids through the fence. Why would she be doing that, Op? Does it make sense that she would do that?

OP, you are now a SAHM with two children. Your world would shrink no matter where you lived.

You feel trapped in a palace you spent $150k modeling to suit your desires. It could be worse.

Idealizing "family" or "community," is a yearning for connection. No fault there. Just be cautious about your motives. My mother warned me, "never make a decision when you're lonely." This is what it sounds like here.

Like all parents of young ones, you'll have to go out and locate community. Some of us live in environments cluttered with people. I live on U Street, for goodness sake. But, don't mistake the high density for "community." That comes from common interests and shared sensibility.

There is no guarantee whatsoever that you'll find this if you move---no matter how much research you do or however fabulous your realtor may be. Look at all of the threads about moms who feel left out among their set. It's a pervasive feeling, not defined by geography. Giving away a palace in exchange for the hope of this vision of community you've developed, it just isn't the way to go.

Invest your wishful thinking into making meaningful ties in your expanded area.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me see if I've got this right. A poster responding to the OP, who has suggested that a Herndon neighborhood may not embrace diversity, has suggested Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and Kensington instead?

Thanks for the laugh, as well as for the reminder of the endless capacity of some Maryland residents for self-delusion. Herndon is far more welcoming and diverse than any of these places.

I'll confess to not knowing much about the diversity of NoVa because I avoid it like the plague. What OP describes is what I've always imagined it has been and will be the forseeable future. Gawking neighbors? Vicious dogs on the loose? The only thing that surprises me is the number of people here who seem to think this is perfectly normal and the OP is the problem. Neighborhoods in proximity to NIH, Medical Center, etc. are guaranteed affluent, diverse, and full of families with young kids. Sure, there's an asshole quotient everywhere but it's much less likely to come with a side of kook in MD and DC.

+1

Welcome to NVA - you are only welcome if you march to our drum.........

No thanks.

Too backwoods for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me see if I've got this right. A poster responding to the OP, who has suggested that a Herndon neighborhood may not embrace diversity, has suggested Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and Kensington instead?

Thanks for the laugh, as well as for the reminder of the endless capacity of some Maryland residents for self-delusion. Herndon is far more welcoming and diverse than any of these places.

I'll confess to not knowing much about the diversity of NoVa because I avoid it like the plague. What OP describes is what I've always imagined it has been and will be the forseeable future. Gawking neighbors? Vicious dogs on the loose? The only thing that surprises me is the number of people here who seem to think this is perfectly normal and the OP is the problem. Neighborhoods in proximity to NIH, Medical Center, etc. are guaranteed affluent, diverse, and full of families with young kids. Sure, there's an asshole quotient everywhere but it's much less likely to come with a side of kook in MD and DC.

Literally the most retarded thing posted on the internet today. 15:03 is a myopic glue sniffer - enjoy Maryland!

Anonymous wrote:Let me see if I've got this right. A poster responding to the OP, who has suggested that a Herndon neighborhood may not embrace diversity, has suggested Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and Kensington instead?

Thanks for the laugh, as well as for the reminder of the endless capacity of some Maryland residents for self-delusion. Herndon is far more welcoming and diverse than any of these places.

I'll confess to not knowing much about the diversity of NoVa because I avoid it like the plague. What OP describes is what I've always imagined it has been and will be the forseeable future. Gawking neighbors? Vicious dogs on the loose? The only thing that surprises me is the number of people here who seem to think this is perfectly normal and the OP is the problem. Neighborhoods in proximity to NIH, Medical Center, etc. are guaranteed affluent, diverse, and full of families with young kids. Sure, there's an asshole quotient everywhere but it's much less likely to come with a side of kook in MD and DC.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are going to continue to be miserable until you get your anxiety under control.

What is OP anxious about? Not making friends? Maybe she is just not very good at making friends; but it can be learned. I certainly would never move for that reason.

If OP has wanna be alpha crazy next door with loaded guns, and OP has small children, that's a more serious consideration.........

I have made the decision to move too for pretty much the same reasons and the blizzard is again underscoring what I feel we miss here (my DH would be happy to live at the end of a dirt road reachable by ATV's). The thing is I have lots of friends one neighborhood over but all through the blizzard I had major FOMO, getting text invites that I could not walk the 1/2mile to (in worse part of storm.) It is Halloween too - we are the outer edge of a neighborhood so while there are lots of kids - none on our street (like yours - 75% of houses have 80plus yo and the only people we see are the health care workers. I get so sad to the point of tears that DD lost the gift of close by friends once the one on-the-street family moved away: her truly bff. We don't go to the local ES so that adds to breech. My only regret about moving would be losing our neighborhood pool. We get equity (finally!) this summer and can keep going but it will be just far enough away we probably won't go. FWIW I did live on the 'perfect' block before this house (we were renting and once we were ready to buy we could not afford the 2mil homes esp w/o company housing subsidy) but that magical grouping of friends have almost all moved so those perfect enclaves - especially in the DMV - can change. I will move for the hope of friendly neighbors but underpin it with other attributes I value. We had been looking for our dream house in our desired neighborhoods - now we are looking for our OK This Will Do place. Life is too short to not have at least the possibility of nearby friends. MOVE - I will do ever thing I can to make this happen for myself this year.

Anonymous wrote:Well, it's pretty clear 13:14, 13:44, and 13:46 are the same person.

+1

ITA. Negative posters should have to identify which PP they are.

OP, I would not move if I were you. I would just make friends outside of your neighborhood, which is relatively easy, once you get the hang of it.

Besides, do you really want an incestuous relationship with your neighbors?

I wonder about people who can't find friends outside of their neighborhood - their world is so tiny.

OP, you are going to continue to be miserable until you get your anxiety under control.

Anonymous wrote:Well, it's pretty clear 13:14, 13:44, and 13:46 are the same person.

What difference does it make?

Well, it's pretty clear 13:14, 13:44, and 13:46 are the same person.