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Anonymous wrote:If you "throwing money at it" simply means that you hand your overly tired, tantruming kid to the staff to deal with when you get home....you honestly have no right to judge how Op is handling her own situation. You clearly have a unique sort of set up at your house that most people do not have.

I don't know why I keep checking this thread. I am checking weather for our destination this week and keep clicking back.

I never handed off my kid. I lessened my stress by outsourcing cooking, dishes, laundry, cleaning and landscaping. My kid was extremely easy as an infant/toddler. I wrote earlier that he was difficult at age 2. We never made afternoon plans during that time. Pushing lunch/nap was not a big deal. Kids would often fall asleep in the car. DH and I took turns on weekends staying home with napper while other spouse went out with older DS. Our situation was not unique at all.

Anonymous wrote:If you "throwing money at it" simply means that you hand your overly tired, tantruming kid to the staff to deal with when you get home....you honestly have no right to judge how Op is handling her own situation. You clearly have a unique sort of set up at your house that most people do not have.

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Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

PP here. You need to chill out. I said I used to be a nap Nazi when I had one child. My kids are well behaved so I don't know who you are talking to. Maybe you think that I am the same person as others posting. The world does not revolve around your precious snowflake's nap. Like I said, my kids are now 4 and 6 and no longer nap. I thought it would be impossible to travel to Europe because of the long flight and waking up at 2am our time. Guess what? Kids survived. Now I am making plans to fly to Asia.

I will forgive your bad attitude since you are in the middle of toddler drudgery. I didn't particular enjoy those days of being tired and picking up goldfish off the floor. Thankfully DH earns a 7 figure income and we could throw money at the household chores.

If I were OP, I would just not have gone if we had already seen the IL's the day before. I am quite reasonable. DH sticks up for me. DH also enjoys family time alone at our house.

Can't wait until he and his 7-figure salary leave you for a younger, much prettier, much more pleasant model. BTW, he already cheats on you.

You sound like a peach. I think it's your child's nap time.

Not sure why you think my DH is any more likely to cheat on me than yours. Yes, my DH is smart and successful. He is also the most stand up and loyal guy that I know. That is why I married him and why he is so successful. People still appreciate trustworthy people.

You hire your housework done and I'm guessing that you get breaks from heavy duty childcare. Realize that some people do not get that kind of help so throwing their schedule into complete chaos does not work so well for them.

PP again. I am not the one name calling here. I simply said things changed when we had two children. We would be chained to the house if I had to juggle the naps of the younger child. My boys no longer nap. You just learn to start to let things go and parenting and life get easier. I also used to be obsessed with anti-screen time and healthy food. We are just more lax about everything and everyone is happier.

Hey, my MIL drives me nuts. It isn't just about naps. Look how I am in our bedroom wasting time on DCUM on this ridiculous thread while MIL and DH are playing with the boys downstairs.

NP. You really don't get to act like you're chill and friendly when you basically told someone you felt sorry for her because she was a poor, overworked mother. What does your husband's salary have to do with anything? And--more importantly--why are you acting like his high salary is remotely your accomplishment? Gross.

I just had a lovely afternoon with my kids. Weather is gorgeous out. I am chill. I am friendly. We have lots of friends. We had the problem of too many neighbors and friends stopping by to give us gifts. I didn't expect our friends to be so giving and felt bad I had nothing prepared in return. Hate me. Say awful things on a parenting forum. I still had a great day.

I am sympathetic to tired moms. I was drowning. I just said that we threw money at the problem. People always get bent out of shape if you happen to drop any hint of race, income, neighborhood, expensive car, elite school or prestigious job that suggests a high income. I have no idea what OP's financial situation is. At the end of the day, I don't care if OP or any other moms return home for nap time. We like to be out and about. I already said multiple times that when I had one child, I was also a nap Nazi. When we had 2 kids, DH and I also often rotated staying home on weekends so younger child could nap. I was glad to get a nap in with the younger child. We also never made afternoon plans since one or both my kids would be napping.

I believe OP's plans were in the morning. OP wanted to leave so that her DD could nap. Her DD would have fallen asleep in the car most likely. OP could have taken her DD to a bedroom to nap. OP could have left MIL's house. I don't know if OP is the one with the nasty tone or if it is another poster.

NP here. You didn't just casually mention something relevant that suggested a high income. You purposely reported your husband's income for no discernible reason other than to brag. That's off-putting, and you shouldn't be surprised that it provokes a negative response.

I'm sure you feel good about your situation in life, who wouldn't? But people are not going to bow down to you when you rub it in their noses. They are going to be angry that you rubbed it in their noses, especially if you later pretend that you just can't help that it eeked out.

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Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

PP here. You need to chill out. I said I used to be a nap Nazi when I had one child. My kids are well behaved so I don't know who you are talking to. Maybe you think that I am the same person as others posting. The world does not revolve around your precious snowflake's nap. Like I said, my kids are now 4 and 6 and no longer nap. I thought it would be impossible to travel to Europe because of the long flight and waking up at 2am our time. Guess what? Kids survived. Now I am making plans to fly to Asia.

I will forgive your bad attitude since you are in the middle of toddler drudgery. I didn't particular enjoy those days of being tired and picking up goldfish off the floor. Thankfully DH earns a 7 figure income and we could throw money at the household chores.

If I were OP, I would just not have gone if we had already seen the IL's the day before. I am quite reasonable. DH sticks up for me. DH also enjoys family time alone at our house.

Can't wait until he and his 7-figure salary leave you for a younger, much prettier, much more pleasant model. BTW, he already cheats on you.

You sound like a peach. I think it's your child's nap time.

Not sure why you think my DH is any more likely to cheat on me than yours. Yes, my DH is smart and successful. He is also the most stand up and loyal guy that I know. That is why I married him and why he is so successful. People still appreciate trustworthy people.

You hire your housework done and I'm guessing that you get breaks from heavy duty childcare. Realize that some people do not get that kind of help so throwing their schedule into complete chaos does not work so well for them.

PP again. I am not the one name calling here. I simply said things changed when we had two children. We would be chained to the house if I had to juggle the naps of the younger child. My boys no longer nap. You just learn to start to let things go and parenting and life get easier. I also used to be obsessed with anti-screen time and healthy food. We are just more lax about everything and everyone is happier.

Hey, my MIL drives me nuts. It isn't just about naps. Look how I am in our bedroom wasting time on DCUM on this ridiculous thread while MIL and DH are playing with the boys downstairs.

NP. You really don't get to act like you're chill and friendly when you basically told someone you felt sorry for her because she was a poor, overworked mother. What does your husband's salary have to do with anything? And--more importantly--why are you acting like his high salary is remotely your accomplishment? Gross.

I just had a lovely afternoon with my kids. Weather is gorgeous out. I am chill. I am friendly. We have lots of friends. We had the problem of too many neighbors and friends stopping by to give us gifts. I didn't expect our friends to be so giving and felt bad I had nothing prepared in return. Hate me. Say awful things on a parenting forum. I still had a great day.

I am sympathetic to tired moms. I was drowning. I just said that we threw money at the problem. People always get bent out of shape if you happen to drop any hint of race, income, neighborhood, expensive car, elite school or prestigious job that suggests a high income. I have no idea what OP's financial situation is. At the end of the day, I don't care if OP or any other moms return home for nap time. We like to be out and about. I already said multiple times that when I had one child, I was also a nap Nazi. When we had 2 kids, DH and I also often rotated staying home on weekends so younger child could nap. I was glad to get a nap in with the younger child. We also never made afternoon plans since one or both my kids would be napping.

I believe OP's plans were in the morning. OP wanted to leave so that her DD could nap. Her DD would have fallen asleep in the car most likely. OP could have taken her DD to a bedroom to nap. OP could have left MIL's house. I don't know if OP is the one with the nasty tone or if it is another poster.

Anonymous wrote:The bottom line is--no parent should be judged for the schedule they choose to keep for their child. They know their child best, and know how much they can handle, how much sleep they need, etc. AND, as a PP noted, don't assume your gathering/party whatever is the only one that they had this week--you don't know what else they've already had to be flexible with.

That being said, OP did not protect her family. She should have said "no" to MIL right then and there at the 7:45 phone call. OR she should have *gotten up and walked out with the kids when she needed to,* not made 5 empty hemming-and-hawing "threats" about needing to leave. And she had to deal with the consequences. If you're going to protect the schedule, protect it; don't be wishy-washy and inconsistent.

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Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

Nap time was sacred with my first especially. Bedtime was also sacred - for both kids. I think we managed to get naps/bedtime in w/o disrupting anyone else's holiday plans. Personally, I think it is HELPFUL for a host to know that a child is on a predictable schedule. Most seem to really appreciate that info and it's much easier to deal with than cranky chaos.

Now, if you KNOW that I put my kid down for a nap at 1:00 and you call everyone to lunch right at 1:00 - do not expect me to come to the table with my child. We'll either be on a nap drive or laying down in back bedroom. Oh, and my kid will have already eaten at 12 just like he always does. Ditto for bed time. If you know that I put my child down at 8pm please do not expect me to come with you for a light drive. But feel free to go ahead and go without me and my child (wish we could have all gone at 6:30, right after dinner though!).

Little kids thrive on a predictable routine. So do tired mommies.

Because all must bow to the throne of the mommy!!

Well, I didn't say that did I? What I did say is that my small child is used to a certain schedule and a routine. When that routine gets tossed out the window - my kid gets cranky and I'm the one who will end up trying to pacify my child in the middle of the night when his bedtime gets thrown off.

So if you know about my child's nap time and opt to serve lunch at that time anyway - that is totally fine! We will deal . As stated above.

Another mom of 2 boys here. We also had a schedule but were flexible. If we occasionally ate lunch late or nap was pushed, we were fine. Kid(s) would fall asleep in the car. We would pull into the driveway and let kids continue to nap. I am sure that would bother some people as well. You can never win on DCUM no matter how reasonable you are.

I posted a week or so about a very late dinner and felt attacked by WOHMs. Having dinner when it is basically bedtime for my younger child doesn't work. Late lunch is fine. Dinner at bedtime isn't. Just do what works for your family.

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Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

Nap time was sacred with my first especially. Bedtime was also sacred - for both kids. I think we managed to get naps/bedtime in w/o disrupting anyone else's holiday plans. Personally, I think it is HELPFUL for a host to know that a child is on a predictable schedule. Most seem to really appreciate that info and it's much easier to deal with than cranky chaos.

Now, if you KNOW that I put my kid down for a nap at 1:00 and you call everyone to lunch right at 1:00 - do not expect me to come to the table with my child. We'll either be on a nap drive or laying down in back bedroom. Oh, and my kid will have already eaten at 12 just like he always does. Ditto for bed time. If you know that I put my child down at 8pm please do not expect me to come with you for a light drive. But feel free to go ahead and go without me and my child (wish we could have all gone at 6:30, right after dinner though!).

Little kids thrive on a predictable routine. So do tired mommies.

Because all must bow to the throne of the mommy!!

Well, I didn't say that did I? What I did say is that my small child is used to a certain schedule and a routine. When that routine gets tossed out the window - my kid gets cranky and I'm the one who will end up trying to pacify my child in the middle of the night when his bedtime gets thrown off.

So if you know about my child's nap time and opt to serve lunch at that time anyway - that is totally fine! We will deal . As stated above.

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Anonymous wrote:My ILs and husband both end up taking twice as long to cook meals as they plan to - and the kids are a bawling tired mess by the time we eat. When I first saw this dynamic, I tried to intervene to resolve it, but what cook wants to be rushed and what kid wants to miss out on a special holiday meal with extended family?

Now I sit back and let it happen. I offer to help once. If I'm declined, then I give the kids milk when they should be eating, but I don't make it my job to entertain an overtired, hungry set of kids, nor do I make it my job to micromanage a bunch of adults who know what the consequences of their actions will be. They know what they're doing - so I let them, and let them deal with the consequences.

It's really stressful for everyone else, but it's a mess of their own making and it's only manageable for me if I just throw up my hands and accept that I don't control these people.

You're punishing your kids because your ILs and husband have poor time-management skills in the kitchen. It absolutely IS your responsibility to entertain/care for/FEED your kids at all times, especially in your in-laws' home. What kind of mother knowingly lets her kids be miserable to make a point?

Oh please! They will live.

But it sounds like the only one having a meltdown here is the OP. I bet the kids were just fine. They are resilient and they adjust. There are kids with much more difficult circumstances who thrive. A missed nap is really a first world problem.

Yeah, sure they will survive. But I don't simply wish to survive. I would like to have FUN, too. Dealing with hungry, cranky, overly tired meltdowns is no fun - so I will avoid those .

But it sounds like the only one having a meltdown here is the OP. I bet the kids were just fine. They are resilient and they adjust. There are kids with much more difficult circumstances who thrive. A missed nap is really a first world problem.

Anonymous wrote:I would not go back into the house of someone who screamed at me. I would meet them instead at a neutral venue like a restaurant. But I would never again go back to her house.

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Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

PP here. You need to chill out. I said I used to be a nap Nazi when I had one child. My kids are well behaved so I don't know who you are talking to. Maybe you think that I am the same person as others posting. The world does not revolve around your precious snowflake's nap. Like I said, my kids are now 4 and 6 and no longer nap. I thought it would be impossible to travel to Europe because of the long flight and waking up at 2am our time. Guess what? Kids survived. Now I am making plans to fly to Asia.

I will forgive your bad attitude since you are in the middle of toddler drudgery. I didn't particular enjoy those days of being tired and picking up goldfish off the floor. Thankfully DH earns a 7 figure income and we could throw money at the household chores.

If I were OP, I would just not have gone if we had already seen the IL's the day before. I am quite reasonable. DH sticks up for me. DH also enjoys family time alone at our house.

Can't wait until he and his 7-figure salary leave you for a younger, much prettier, much more pleasant model. BTW, he already cheats on you.

You sound like a peach. I think it's your child's nap time.

Not sure why you think my DH is any more likely to cheat on me than yours. Yes, my DH is smart and successful. He is also the most stand up and loyal guy that I know. That is why I married him and why he is so successful. People still appreciate trustworthy people.

You hire your housework done and I'm guessing that you get breaks from heavy duty childcare. Realize that some people do not get that kind of help so throwing their schedule into complete chaos does not work so well for them.

PP again. I am not the one name calling here. I simply said things changed when we had two children. We would be chained to the house if I had to juggle the naps of the younger child. My boys no longer nap. You just learn to start to let things go and parenting and life get easier. I also used to be obsessed with anti-screen time and healthy food. We are just more lax about everything and everyone is happier.

Hey, my MIL drives me nuts. It isn't just about naps. Look how I am in our bedroom wasting time on DCUM on this ridiculous thread while MIL and DH are playing with the boys downstairs.

NP. You really don't get to act like you're chill and friendly when you basically told someone you felt sorry for her because she was a poor, overworked mother. What does your husband's salary have to do with anything? And--more importantly--why are you acting like his high salary is remotely your accomplishment? Gross.

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Anonymous wrote:My ILs and husband both end up taking twice as long to cook meals as they plan to - and the kids are a bawling tired mess by the time we eat. When I first saw this dynamic, I tried to intervene to resolve it, but what cook wants to be rushed and what kid wants to miss out on a special holiday meal with extended family?

Now I sit back and let it happen. I offer to help once. If I'm declined, then I give the kids milk when they should be eating, but I don't make it my job to entertain an overtired, hungry set of kids, nor do I make it my job to micromanage a bunch of adults who know what the consequences of their actions will be. They know what they're doing - so I let them, and let them deal with the consequences.

It's really stressful for everyone else, but it's a mess of their own making and it's only manageable for me if I just throw up my hands and accept that I don't control these people.

You're punishing your kids because your ILs and husband have poor time-management skills in the kitchen. It absolutely IS your responsibility to entertain/care for/FEED your kids at all times, especially in your in-laws' home. What kind of mother knowingly lets her kids be miserable to make a point?

Oh please! They will live.

But it sounds like the only one having a meltdown here is the OP. I bet the kids were just fine. They are resilient and they adjust. There are kids with much more difficult circumstances who thrive. A missed nap is really a first world problem.

Yeah, sure they will survive. But I don't simply wish to survive. I would like to have FUN, too. Dealing with hungry, cranky, overly tired meltdowns is no fun - so I will avoid those .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs and husband both end up taking twice as long to cook meals as they plan to - and the kids are a bawling tired mess by the time we eat. When I first saw this dynamic, I tried to intervene to resolve it, but what cook wants to be rushed and what kid wants to miss out on a special holiday meal with extended family?

Now I sit back and let it happen. I offer to help once. If I'm declined, then I give the kids milk when they should be eating, but I don't make it my job to entertain an overtired, hungry set of kids, nor do I make it my job to micromanage a bunch of adults who know what the consequences of their actions will be. They know what they're doing - so I let them, and let them deal with the consequences.

It's really stressful for everyone else, but it's a mess of their own making and it's only manageable for me if I just throw up my hands and accept that I don't control these people.

You're punishing your kids because your ILs and husband have poor time-management skills in the kitchen. It absolutely IS your responsibility to entertain/care for/FEED your kids at all times, especially in your in-laws' home. What kind of mother knowingly lets her kids be miserable to make a point?

Oh please! They will live.

But it sounds like the only one having a meltdown here is the OP. I bet the kids were just fine. They are resilient and they adjust. There are kids with much more difficult circumstances who thrive. A missed nap is really a first world problem.

Yeah, sure they will survive. But I don't simply wish to survive. I would like to have FUN, too. Dealing with hungry, cranky, overly tired meltdowns is no fun - so I will avoid those .

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Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

Nap time was sacred with my first especially. Bedtime was also sacred - for both kids. I think we managed to get naps/bedtime in w/o disrupting anyone else's holiday plans. Personally, I think it is HELPFUL for a host to know that a child is on a predictable schedule. Most seem to really appreciate that info and it's much easier to deal with than cranky chaos.

Now, if you KNOW that I put my kid down for a nap at 1:00 and you call everyone to lunch right at 1:00 - do not expect me to come to the table with my child. We'll either be on a nap drive or laying down in back bedroom. Oh, and my kid will have already eaten at 12 just like he always does. Ditto for bed time. If you know that I put my child down at 8pm please do not expect me to come with you for a light drive. But feel free to go ahead and go without me and my child (wish we could have all gone at 6:30, right after dinner though!).

Little kids thrive on a predictable routine. So do tired mommies.

Because all must bow to the throne of the mommy!!