Anonymous
12/23/2015 21:08
Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:OP, perhaps the mixed signals gave him pause. COMMUNICATE. You seem to be putting all the work on him.
And be clear in the future. " Hey Larlo Inreally like hanging out but want to wait until we get to know each other better. How about dinner Friday." Expecting a guy to read and interpret mixed signals this early on is a recipe for disaster. Most guys will decide it isnt worth the effort (i would) and move on.
Man here. THIS is good advice. OP said she didn't let him go further on the third date because she was having her period. It's a whole lot better to say that than to shut things down and not mention it. A guy will take that to mean the woman is still interested, but logistics prevent things from going forward.
She was sending mixed signals and being indecisive. The guy took that to mean she wasn't that into him, and he moved on. I can understand why -- life is short, so why waste time on someone who may not even like you?
Anonymous
12/23/2015 20:50
Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:You could win him over with sex.
No, he'll just have sex with you then he'll leave and you'll feel used up. If he's into you, he's into you-- not just sex with you. Lose him.
Anonymous
12/23/2015 20:17
Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
this is getting boring.
text him because you're 18 or call him because you're adult. pick one and move forward. you won't know until you do something.
text him because you're 18 or call him because you're adult. pick one and move forward. you won't know until you do something.
Anonymous
12/23/2015 19:26
Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Dudes here lie like rugs about all this third date fucking so ignore that. A decent guy who is interested in more than just bending you over will wait until you feel comfortable.
Yup. Agree with this. If he's into you, OP, he will get in touch.
This. Also, how interested in him are you really, OP? Or is this need to contact him more about being "rejected"?
I would pursue other dates with other men, and if this guy comes back into the picture great. If not also great.
Op here. From what I know, I like him. I enjoy spending time with him and am attracted to him.
Ok, just call him OP...old fashioned. ask him out. tell him you want to redeem yourself.
Anonymous
12/23/2015 19:02
Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Dudes here lie like rugs about all this third date fucking so ignore that. A decent guy who is interested in more than just bending you over will wait until you feel comfortable.
Yup. Agree with this. If he's into you, OP, he will get in touch.
This. Also, how interested in him are you really, OP? Or is this need to contact him more about being "rejected"?
I would pursue other dates with other men, and if this guy comes back into the picture great. If not also great.
Op here. From what I know, I like him. I enjoy spending time with him and am attracted to him.
Anonymous
12/23/2015 17:12
Subject: Re:Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I'm not playing hard to get.
I'm just want to get to know someone well before sleeping with him. I don't want to sleep with someone too soon and then find out later he's a jerk or doesn't like me.
Oh poor you. You sound like a teenager. No relationship lasts forever and you're not entitled to any specific length of a relationship, be it long or short. You're lucky if this guy sticks around for another date, with the way you're treating him. If you treated me this way, I'd never talk to you again.
If you're not attracted to him, find someone else's time to waste.
Ignore this person. Not having sex by the third date is mistreating someone? Give me a break.
I'm sorry, OP. This sucks, but clearly this guy was looking for sex, and recognized you were looking for more. It would have been worse if you slept together, then he disappeared. He isn't the guy for you.
Seriously, talk about entitled. Men here really feel that they are owed sex after a third date?? ???
They are entitled to accept no sex after a third date as a lack of interest from the woman.
Um, ok, but then they might be missing out on sleeping with a woman who might have slept with him by date five or eight.
Who thought up this third date rule anyway? I think it was a man trying to make women feel like sleeping with someone on the third date was the norm.
It is normal. By third date its time to step it up or cut bait. If we are not sleeping with each other by the third, there is no chemistry. As for missing out...really you are some much more special vs someone else? Most likely you are just missing out on someone with a lot of hang ups.
Oh please. There are plenty of couples who didn't abide by this rule and things worked out for them.
I did not say anything about a rule, but three dates is enough time(for most people the three date rule means not having sex on the first date). I am sure there are some who go slower, but they are self selecting lower sex drive couples....that is fine. I really think people should try to match sex drive and feels/hang ups about sex. If you are a guy and the woman is not willing to move the relationship forward, you have to move on. Over 30 and not willing to have sex is a red flag(either she is not into you or she has problems with sex). You find this out by the third date.
Anonymous
12/23/2015 17:05
Subject: Re:Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
The problem with dating is that because everyone moves at different speeds, people expect to move at the speed the last person they were with went at. This guy is used to girls putting out early so expected the same from you.
Anonymous
12/23/2015 16:53
Subject: Re:Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous
OP, I haven't seen anything on here about what YOU want and like. Do you even like this guy? Or are you just feeling miffed that he blew you off? Are you attracted to him? Think about what YOU want and then act on it. No more mixed signals that way.
Well it her right to "date" a guy as long as she wants. He can continue to pay for things while she scopes around for a better guy. It's a good way to kill time b/t really hot guys.
Anonymous
12/23/2015 16:34
Subject: Re:Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I'm not playing hard to get.
I'm just want to get to know someone well before sleeping with him. I don't want to sleep with someone too soon and then find out later he's a jerk or doesn't like me.
Oh poor you. You sound like a teenager. No relationship lasts forever and you're not entitled to any specific length of a relationship, be it long or short. You're lucky if this guy sticks around for another date, with the way you're treating him. If you treated me this way, I'd never talk to you again.
If you're not attracted to him, find someone else's time to waste.
Ignore this person. Not having sex by the third date is mistreating someone? Give me a break.
I'm sorry, OP. This sucks, but clearly this guy was looking for sex, and recognized you were looking for more. It would have been worse if you slept together, then he disappeared. He isn't the guy for you.
Seriously, talk about entitled. Men here really feel that they are owed sex after a third date?? ???
They are entitled to accept no sex after a third date as a lack of interest from the woman.
Um, ok, but then they might be missing out on sleeping with a woman who might have slept with him by date five or eight.
Who thought up this third date rule anyway? I think it was a man trying to make women feel like sleeping with someone on the third date was the norm.
It is normal. By third date its time to step it up or cut bait. If we are not sleeping with each other by the third, there is no chemistry. As for missing out...really you are some much more special vs someone else? Most likely you are just missing out on someone with a lot of hang ups.
Oh please. There are plenty of couples who didn't abide by this rule and things worked out for them.
Anonymous
12/23/2015 16:30
Subject: Re:Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I'm not playing hard to get.
I'm just want to get to know someone well before sleeping with him. I don't want to sleep with someone too soon and then find out later he's a jerk or doesn't like me.
Oh poor you. You sound like a teenager. No relationship lasts forever and you're not entitled to any specific length of a relationship, be it long or short. You're lucky if this guy sticks around for another date, with the way you're treating him. If you treated me this way, I'd never talk to you again.
If you're not attracted to him, find someone else's time to waste.
Ignore this person. Not having sex by the third date is mistreating someone? Give me a break.
I'm sorry, OP. This sucks, but clearly this guy was looking for sex, and recognized you were looking for more. It would have been worse if you slept together, then he disappeared. He isn't the guy for you.
Seriously, talk about entitled. Men here really feel that they are owed sex after a third date?? ???
They are entitled to accept no sex after a third date as a lack of interest from the woman.
Um, ok, but then they might be missing out on sleeping with a woman who might have slept with him by date five or eight.
Who thought up this third date rule anyway? I think it was a man trying to make women feel like sleeping with someone on the third date was the norm.
It is normal. By third date its time to step it up or cut bait. If we are not sleeping with each other by the third, there is no chemistry. As for missing out...really you are some much more special vs someone else? Most likely you are just missing out on someone with a lot of hang ups.
Anonymous
12/23/2015 15:58
Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:I'm not playing hard to get.
I'm just want to get to know someone well before sleeping with him. I don't want to sleep with someone too soon and then find out later he's a jerk or doesn't like me.
I felt the same way. Look the right guy will wait. Sounds lame but it's true. When you meet the right person or more that the timing is right, things just happen and you won't even be having these kind of thoughts. Just be true to yourself and try and enjoy life along the way.
Anonymous
12/23/2015 15:42
Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:If you want to have sex, have sex. If you don't want to have sex, don't. If you're not sure, I would suggest something like, "Hey, I like you pretty well, but I'm not sure if I want to have sex with you, so I'm going to hold off for now."
WHAT
who talks like this
Anonymous
12/23/2015 15:41
Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
If you want to have sex, have sex. If you don't want to have sex, don't. If you're not sure, I would suggest something like, "Hey, I like you pretty well, but I'm not sure if I want to have sex with you, so I'm going to hold off for now."
Anonymous
12/23/2015 15:39
Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm not playing hard to get.
I'm just want to get to know someone well before sleeping with him. I don't want to sleep with someone too soon and then find out later he's a jerk or doesn't like me.
Oh poor you. You sound like a teenager. No relationship lasts forever and you're not entitled to any specific length of a relationship, be it long or short. You're lucky if this guy sticks around for another date, with the way you're treating him. If you treated me this way, I'd never talk to you again.
If you're not attracted to him, find someone else's time to waste.
Ignore this person. Not having sex by the third date is mistreating someone? Give me a break.
I'm sorry, OP. This sucks, but clearly this guy was looking for sex, and recognized you were looking for more. It would have been worse if you slept together, then he disappeared. He isn't the guy for you.
Seriously, talk about entitled. Men here really feel that they are owed sex after a third date?? ???
They are entitled to accept no sex after a third date as a lack of interest from the woman.
Um, ok, but then they might be missing out on sleeping with a woman who might have slept with him by date five or eight.
Who thought up this third date rule anyway? I think it was a man trying to make women feel like sleeping with someone on the third date was the norm.
The rule isn't that you should have sex by date 3. The rule is that you should wait at least until date 3 to have sex, so that you're not thought of as 'easy.'
But my rule is - You should have sex when it feels right.
There are some assholes on this thread that are clearly undersexed and bitter.
Anonymous
12/23/2015 15:35
Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm not playing hard to get.
I'm just want to get to know someone well before sleeping with him. I don't want to sleep with someone too soon and then find out later he's a jerk or doesn't like me.
Oh poor you. You sound like a teenager. No relationship lasts forever and you're not entitled to any specific length of a relationship, be it long or short. You're lucky if this guy sticks around for another date, with the way you're treating him. If you treated me this way, I'd never talk to you again.
If you're not attracted to him, find someone else's time to waste.
Ignore this person. Not having sex by the third date is mistreating someone? Give me a break.
I'm sorry, OP. This sucks, but clearly this guy was looking for sex, and recognized you were looking for more. It would have been worse if you slept together, then he disappeared. He isn't the guy for you.
Seriously, talk about entitled. Men here really feel that they are owed sex after a third date?? ???
They are entitled to accept no sex after a third date as a lack of interest from the woman.
Um, ok, but then they might be missing out on sleeping with a woman who might have slept with him by date five or eight.
Who thought up this third date rule anyway? I think it was a man trying to make women feel like sleeping with someone on the third date was the norm.