I know many terrific kids and families at GDS. Mine are at Burke and we love it.

I went to an open house a few years ago for GDS and heard the head of the school talk about how two different recently graduated GDS students had emailed him to say Welcome to GDS (which is lovely) and each of them described they were so well prepared by GDS in the first weeks of college that they could tell their professors what was missing from the syllabus and make suggestions about how to make it better.

I didn't want that to be my kids, though I could probably make the argument for why you might.

I'm a GDS parent and am profoundly ambivalent about the school at this point. Two of the recent posts (you can do anything theme) are mine. I have no problem with people (inside or out) critiquing GDS, but when what they're saying seems really off-base to me, I relay what I've seen and experienced.

Anonymous wrote:NP - Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like someone from the GDS PR department has recently taken a particularly active role in this thread and a few others? It seems like any post that's less-than-glowing about GDS gets an immediate paragraph in response that reverse-flips the criticism into a statement about how wonderful GDS is.

I'm not bashing GDS by any means - it seems like a fine school, just like many other schools in the DC area. But I do find the forced boosterism here a little oppressive. My advice: Consider letting people weigh the pros and cons in an open way, without trying to put your thumb on the scale. I assume we'd all want our children to learn to weigh options objectively, so people should try to model some good behavior here.

I'll go back to watching from the sidelines now.

I've posted on a few of these types of negative comments and I'm no GDS booster or from the PR department. I'm a GDS parent - a very happy one. I love a lot of things about the school, including the messaging they give the kids. There are some things I don't love about the school - but when I see posts from people with no connection to the school other than "a friend went to an open house and thought the school was ---" or "my friend who knows people with kids at GDS thinks those kids are entitled" I try to offer a different perspective.

Anonymous wrote:NP - Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like someone from the GDS PR department has recently taken a particularly active role in this thread and a few others? It seems like any post that's less-than-glowing about GDS gets an immediate paragraph in response that reverse-flips the criticism into a statement about how wonderful GDS is.

I'm not bashing GDS by any means - it seems like a fine school, just like many other schools in the DC area. But I do find the forced boosterism here a little oppressive. My advice: Consider letting people weigh the pros and cons in an open way, without trying to put your thumb on the scale. I assume we'd all want our children to learn to weigh options objectively, so people should try to model some good behavior here.

I'll go back to watching from the sidelines now.

You'd think they would have their hands full in flacking as well for the large mixed-use development in Tenleytown that GDS is fronting.

NP - Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like someone from the GDS PR department has recently taken a particularly active role in this thread and a few others? It seems like any post that's less-than-glowing about GDS gets an immediate paragraph in response that reverse-flips the criticism into a statement about how wonderful GDS is.

I'm not bashing GDS by any means - it seems like a fine school, just like many other schools in the DC area. But I do find the forced boosterism here a little oppressive. My advice: Consider letting people weigh the pros and cons in an open way, without trying to put your thumb on the scale. I assume we'd all want our children to learn to weigh options objectively, so people should try to model some good behavior here.

I'll go back to watching from the sidelines now.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the high schoolers are insecure because their expectations were so high after elementary and middle school at GDS. It's great to encourage kids in alternate careers and to follow their dreams, but I do think the kind of confidence GDS seeks to build is not good in the long-term. Real self-confidence comes from struggling for success and overcoming obstacles. Just being told you're the best over time does not do that. A friend of mine attended two different accepted students events a couple years ago -- GDS and SFS. She said she was surprised at how "special" the GDS students made themselves out to be. The SFS students, she said, were more modest in their demeanor and very willing to talk of their stumbles and failures. She described it as the difference between long-term confidence and short-term, feel good confidence. That description made an impression on me,

You don't really know anything about what kind of confidence either school builds "long-term." You've got a secondhand impression based on one event.
Nor do you seem to know what kids are being told during school -- "you can do anything" is very different from "you are the best." It's a message not about being special but about being human -- and about recognizing, despite many suggestions to the contrary, that you have agency and can make choices. Throughout their years at GDS, kids learn of hundreds (maybe thousands) of people who have accomplished something worthwhile. They have different accomplishments, different personalities, and different stories. What they probably all have in common is that, at some point, each person had to blaze part of his or her own trail. That's not a pat-yourself-on-the-back message. That's a get-off-your-ass-and-do-something-praiseworthy message. Which, in the short-term might well induce anxiety. Especially when other forces in your environment are telling you that it's crucial that you get into a top college so that you can get into a top grad school so that you don't end up downwardly mobile and when there are so many things you have (or want) to do that you don't have much time to dream or discover.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the high schoolers are insecure because their expectations were so high after elementary and middle school at GDS. It's great to encourage kids in alternate careers and to follow their dreams, but I do think the kind of confidence GDS seeks to build is not good in the long-term. Real self-confidence comes from struggling for success and overcoming obstacles. Just being told you're the best over time does not do that. A friend of mine attended two different accepted students events a couple years ago -- GDS and SFS. She said she was surprised at how "special" the GDS students made themselves out to be. The SFS students, she said, were more modest in their demeanor and very willing to talk of their stumbles and failures. She described it as the difference between long-term confidence and short-term, feel good confidence. That description made an impression on me,

Once again, a post by someone who doesn't actually have children at GDS. When you read the posts by parents who actually have first-hand experience with the school, you get a different sense of the school.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the high schoolers are insecure because their expectations were so high after elementary and middle school at GDS. It's great to encourage kids in alternate careers and to follow their dreams, but I do think the kind of confidence GDS seeks to build is not good in the long-term. Real self-confidence comes from struggling for success and overcoming obstacles. Just being told you're the best over time does not do that. A friend of mine attended two different accepted students events a couple years ago -- GDS and SFS. She said she was surprised at how "special" the GDS students made themselves out to be. The SFS students, she said, were more modest in their demeanor and very willing to talk of their stumbles and failures. She described it as the difference between long-term confidence and short-term, feel good confidence. That description made an impression on me,

I think this type of comparison between students, particularly at an admitted student event, need to be taken with a serious grain of salt. Often we are predisposed to prefer one school over the other and look for ways to reinforce that predisposition.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the high schoolers are insecure because their expectations were so high after elementary and middle school at GDS. It's great to encourage kids in alternate careers and to follow their dreams, but I do think the kind of confidence GDS seeks to build is not good in the long-term. Real self-confidence comes from struggling for success and overcoming obstacles. Just being told you're the best over time does not do that. A friend of mine attended two different accepted students events a couple years ago -- GDS and SFS. She said she was surprised at how "special" the GDS students made themselves out to be. The SFS students, she said, were more modest in their demeanor and very willing to talk of their stumbles and failures. She described it as the difference between long-term confidence and short-term, feel good confidence. That description made an impression on me,

Being completely new to the process I wasn't sure if they had acceptance events. Good to know and will add this to the list of things to evaluate when we get to that point.

Anonymous wrote:Re self-confidence. I wonder if it's age-specific. I see a lot of insecurity among Jrs and Srs, and the talent show claim rings really hollow at the HS level. I do think the ethos of the school is "you can do anything" (so grads become novelists and restraunteurs and game designers and filmmakers rather than just doctors, lawyers, dentists, and developers like their parents). But the message is also that to do anything well requires a helluva lot of hard work in addition to talent. Standards are high and there is enough talent (as well as resources) in the environment that every kid knows someone who is much better at something than they are by the time they leave HS.

Good luck finding a high school where kids don't smoke weed! FWIW, my DC has felt no pressure to smoke (or drink) from classmates at GDS.

Hahaha at finding a school where kids don't smoke weed. I know...that statement was more of an afterthought. lol.

Maybe the high schoolers are insecure because their expectations were so high after elementary and middle school at GDS. It's great to encourage kids in alternate careers and to follow their dreams, but I do think the kind of confidence GDS seeks to build is not good in the long-term. Real self-confidence comes from struggling for success and overcoming obstacles. Just being told you're the best over time does not do that. A friend of mine attended two different accepted students events a couple years ago -- GDS and SFS. She said she was surprised at how "special" the GDS students made themselves out to be. The SFS students, she said, were more modest in their demeanor and very willing to talk of their stumbles and failures. She described it as the difference between long-term confidence and short-term, feel good confidence. That description made an impression on me,

Re self-confidence. I wonder if it's age-specific. I see a lot of insecurity among Jrs and Srs, and the talent show claim rings really hollow at the HS level. I do think the ethos of the school is "you can do anything" (so grads become novelists and restraunteurs and game designers and filmmakers rather than just doctors, lawyers, dentists, and developers like their parents). But the message is also that to do anything well requires a helluva lot of hard work in addition to talent. Standards are high and there is enough talent (as well as resources) in the environment that every kid knows someone who is much better at something than they are by the time they leave HS.

Good luck finding a high school where kids don't smoke weed! FWIW, my DC has felt no pressure to smoke (or drink) from classmates at GDS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree that the PP hit it on the head with the self-confidence/self-awareness point. GDS kids exude self-confidence and seem to believe that every word they utter is profound, every talent show performer a superstar. Maybe that is great for self-confidence, but I believe it benefits kids more in the long-term to be more realistic and self-aware.

As a GDS parent, I would love it if every kid were actually self-confident. However, the kids that I know suffer from the same insecurities as any other child, face the same trials and tribulations of any other teenager, and also feel the weight of academic expectations found at any top independent school. The parents I know share similar concerns about the stress of the workload and extra-curriculars. There seems to be this false notion of GDS "exceptionalism" found in posts by those who don't have kids at GDS. But, let me assure you, that the kids at the schools mentioned in this forum are far more alike than different from one another. While there are some differences in emphases found at these schools, taking a step back you quickly realize that the students at Sidwell, GDS, Maret, etc., have much more in common with each other than not. In the end, they are overwhelmingly fortunate children who are competent and caring.

Thanks for this perspective. It's helpful to have a balance of the pros and cons.

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree that the PP hit it on the head with the self-confidence/self-awareness point. GDS kids exude self-confidence and seem to believe that every word they utter is profound, every talent show performer a superstar. Maybe that is great for self-confidence, but I believe it benefits kids more in the long-term to be more realistic and self-aware.

As a GDS parent, I would love it if every kid were actually self-confident. However, the kids that I know suffer from the same insecurities as any other child, face the same trials and tribulations of any other teenager, and also feel the weight of academic expectations found at any top independent school. The parents I know share similar concerns about the stress of the workload and extra-curriculars. There seems to be this false notion of GDS "exceptionalism" found in posts by those who don't have kids at GDS. But, let me assure you, that the kids at the schools mentioned in this forum are far more alike than different from one another. While there are some differences in emphases found at these schools, taking a step back you quickly realize that the students at Sidwell, GDS, Maret, etc., have much more in common with each other than not. In the end, they are overwhelmingly fortunate children who are competent and caring.

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree that the PP hit it on the head with the self-confidence/self-awareness point. GDS kids exude self-confidence and seem to believe that every word they utter is profound, every talent show performer a superstar. Maybe that is great for self-confidence, but I believe it benefits kids more in the long-term to be more realistic and self-aware.

This is probably the most concerning criticism I've read thus far. While I want my children to be confident and self-advocates, I certainly don't want them to unrealistically believe they are greatest at something when they are in fact average. Oh yeah, and that whole smoking weed thing is a non-starter too.