Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I only asked because I seem to come across women who work and bemoan their jobs and wish their DH made more so they could just be a SAHM.

I also know women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM.

I love my job and I'm proud of the fact that I can support myself, use my brain on a daily basis, and am a responsible adult (not relying on a man to support me).

I don't know a single woman who works and bemoans her job and wishes to stay at home. I do know a few women whose entire goal is to be a SAHM. I don't have much respect for them, but their life choices are meaningless to me but can well be unfortunate choices for them in the future.

Wow, are you smug. I'm a WOHM but used to be a SAHM. While I enjoy my current career, I can honestly say that the most meaningful time of my life were the eight years I stayed home with my kids. My experience is completely different than yours in that all of the women I work with would trade their careers for being at home with their kids any day. We've had many conversations about this very subject, and those who never stayed home with their kids deeply regret it now.

Guess what: choosing to be a SAHM, either temporarily or permanently, is a worthwhile goal. When I was at home, our family ran smoothly and everyone was happy and calm. The kids were never hustled out of the house at the crack of dawn and left in daycare or with a nanny for all hours. I will be forever grateful that their childhood was marked not by a blur of frantic childcare juggling, but steady, consistent care from a parent - and I will be forever grateful that I got to be that parent.

Maybe you should check your superiority complex and realize that your life choices are meaningless to others as well. Good thing we can all do what's right for our own families rather than trying to impress bitter people like yourself.

I'm not smug, bitter or have a superiority complex simply because I think differently than you do. Your insults do not make you right, they just make you kind of ugly. So you think choosing to stay at home is a worthwhile goal. Good for you. I think it is a risky choice and basically irresponsible. Husbands can become disabled, die (which is objectively a horrible thing no one would want to wish on anyone), or leave. Objectively speaking, this would have devastating consequences on a SAHM's quality of life (except, perhaps for the very, very rich) and therefore, is a risky choice for any able bodied adult who can support themselves and their families.

You give a passionate defense of SAHM for a time. I'm glad it worked for you. I didn't comment on women like you. I don't respect women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM. You do. Fine, we feel differently. I do not feel the need to insult them as you felt the need to insult me. This is why I say their decisions are meaningless to me. We do agree in that my choices are equally meaningless to them. They don't need my respect. They're calculating their risk, maybe, and living their lives. Go them. But I still think it's an irresponsible choice and living off another person is risky and irresponsible. Big deal. They don't care. However, I know more than one SAHM whose choice ended up making their life difficult and think they should have counted on self sufficiency because it's hard to see people put all their eggs in one basket and see that basket break.

What I'm tired of reading on this board is that there is something about SAH that makes a person a better parent than one that WOH. IRL, I know SAHMs and WOHMs and SAHDs and WOHDs, and guess what, they're all great parents.

Boy, are you a hypocrite. You accuse me of insulting you after you throw out insults of your own in your first post. Implying that SAHMs "rely on a man to support them" and that you "don't have much respect" for women who choose to be SAHMs (for however long - really, none of your business). Women who SAH are not "living off another person." They are an invaluable part of the parenting team. It's incredible to me that people pay such lip service to the childcare providers who take care of your children, but see no hypocrisy in snottily dismissing women who choose to care for their own children. Imagine that - what a novel idea.

So, to be clear, you absolutely did feel the need to insult women who SAH indefinitely, as if somehow you know better than they what works best for their families. I suggest you stick to running your own life and refrain from judging people you've never met, who make choices that are different from your own.

Wow spare us the histrionics. If your life is financed by someone else, you are not supporting yourself or your family. The breadwinner is.

Suppose you are a single parent and your parents are paying your rent and food. Yes you are choosing to not work to raise your
Own children but you are absolutely living off someone else.

You have a very strange way of looking at marriage and parenting. Glad I'm not trying to raise kids with someone like yourself, who places such a low priority on taking care of children.

You're talking to more than one person, just so you know.

I'm the person you are calling a hypocrite. Again, you are reaching for the insults without actually reading what I said or accepting the truth. If you are a SAHM, you are absolutely relying on a man (or a woman) to support you. You are not contributing to the material needs of your family because you are not bringing in any money and you're ability to keep a roof over your family's head relies entirely on your partner (unless, as I said, you are one of the very rich and have an inheritance of your own. Even then, your ability to feed your family relies on someone else's money.) This is a fact. Sorry you don't like it.

Secondly, read more carefully about what I said about permanent SAHMs. I said I didn't respect them and said I thought they were irresponsible. I also gave you all the reasons why I thought they were irresponsible. These are also facts. I also said their life choices are meaningless to me as I'm sure my life choices are meaningless to them. So, fear not, bitter person, I'm sticking to running my own life. I suggest you do the same.

Your nonsense about suggesting that I don't respect permanent SAHMs = having a low priority on taking care of children or disrespect childcare providers is way out of line. That's ridiculous, and hysterical, to say the least. There are wonderful, caring, amazing childcare workers out there who responsibly take care of their families by working as I do by working. They are not a part of this conversation. They are responsible professionals who are able to provide for their families. Permanent SAHMs cannot say the same. They are, as the PP said, being financed by someone else.

I get it. You want to think of SAHMs as being equal contributors to society and are superior to WOHMs because they stay at home all day with their kids. We disagree on this, especially when we consider permanent SAHMs who have very little to do once their kids are in school. But hey, we disagree. I don't think it's a big deal. I don't care what they do; I merely disrespect their risk assessment skills.

As the PP immediately above suggests, spare us the histrionics.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Wow. I'm so glad the people I know IRL are nothing like you. What a pathetic life you must live, always stewing about the fact that many couples happily divide up duties in such a way that it works beautifully for their families - and consider marriage and parenthood a team effort, no matter who stays home with the kids and who brings home the paycheck.

I'm sorry, did you miss the five page thread of women bitching about how their husbands aren't bringing the most money possible?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I only asked because I seem to come across women who work and bemoan their jobs and wish their DH made more so they could just be a SAHM.

I also know women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM.

I love my job and I'm proud of the fact that I can support myself, use my brain on a daily basis, and am a responsible adult (not relying on a man to support me).

I don't know a single woman who works and bemoans her job and wishes to stay at home. I do know a few women whose entire goal is to be a SAHM. I don't have much respect for them, but their life choices are meaningless to me but can well be unfortunate choices for them in the future.

Wow, are you smug. I'm a WOHM but used to be a SAHM. While I enjoy my current career, I can honestly say that the most meaningful time of my life were the eight years I stayed home with my kids. My experience is completely different than yours in that all of the women I work with would trade their careers for being at home with their kids any day. We've had many conversations about this very subject, and those who never stayed home with their kids deeply regret it now.

Guess what: choosing to be a SAHM, either temporarily or permanently, is a worthwhile goal. When I was at home, our family ran smoothly and everyone was happy and calm. The kids were never hustled out of the house at the crack of dawn and left in daycare or with a nanny for all hours. I will be forever grateful that their childhood was marked not by a blur of frantic childcare juggling, but steady, consistent care from a parent - and I will be forever grateful that I got to be that parent.

Maybe you should check your superiority complex and realize that your life choices are meaningless to others as well. Good thing we can all do what's right for our own families rather than trying to impress bitter people like yourself.

I'm not smug, bitter or have a superiority complex simply because I think differently than you do. Your insults do not make you right, they just make you kind of ugly. So you think choosing to stay at home is a worthwhile goal. Good for you. I think it is a risky choice and basically irresponsible. Husbands can become disabled, die (which is objectively a horrible thing no one would want to wish on anyone), or leave. Objectively speaking, this would have devastating consequences on a SAHM's quality of life (except, perhaps for the very, very rich) and therefore, is a risky choice for any able bodied adult who can support themselves and their families.

You give a passionate defense of SAHM for a time. I'm glad it worked for you. I didn't comment on women like you. I don't respect women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM. You do. Fine, we feel differently. I do not feel the need to insult them as you felt the need to insult me. This is why I say their decisions are meaningless to me. We do agree in that my choices are equally meaningless to them. They don't need my respect. They're calculating their risk, maybe, and living their lives. Go them. But I still think it's an irresponsible choice and living off another person is risky and irresponsible. Big deal. They don't care. However, I know more than one SAHM whose choice ended up making their life difficult and think they should have counted on self sufficiency because it's hard to see people put all their eggs in one basket and see that basket break.

What I'm tired of reading on this board is that there is something about SAH that makes a person a better parent than one that WOH. IRL, I know SAHMs and WOHMs and SAHDs and WOHDs, and guess what, they're all great parents.

Boy, are you a hypocrite. You accuse me of insulting you after you throw out insults of your own in your first post. Implying that SAHMs "rely on a man to support them" and that you "don't have much respect" for women who choose to be SAHMs (for however long - really, none of your business). Women who SAH are not "living off another person." They are an invaluable part of the parenting team. It's incredible to me that people pay such lip service to the childcare providers who take care of your children, but see no hypocrisy in snottily dismissing women who choose to care for their own children. Imagine that - what a novel idea.

So, to be clear, you absolutely did feel the need to insult women who SAH indefinitely, as if somehow you know better than they what works best for their families. I suggest you stick to running your own life and refrain from judging people you've never met, who make choices that are different from your own.

Wow spare us the histrionics. If your life is financed by someone else, you are not supporting yourself or your family. The breadwinner is.

Suppose you are a single parent and your parents are paying your rent and food. Yes you are choosing to not work to raise your
Own children but you are absolutely living off someone else.

You have a very strange way of looking at marriage and parenting. Glad I'm not trying to raise kids with someone like yourself, who places such a low priority on taking care of children.

Anonymous wrote:
Wow. I'm so glad the people I know IRL are nothing like you. What a pathetic life you must live, always stewing about the fact that many couples happily divide up duties in such a way that it works beautifully for their families - and consider marriage and parenthood a team effort, no matter who stays home with the kids and who brings home the paycheck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And why wouldn't a woman enjoy working/ I really don't understand the premise of this question. No one ever asks men if they actually like working because it's something they DO. This kind of attitude makes it difficult for women to be taken seriously in the workplace. Seriously, like it's a hobby.

Are you new here? This place is full of threads and posts by women who whine to the heavens about how they can't stay at home and have to work.

The reason why men aren't asked this question is because NOBODY CARES. They are expected to work and provide for their money grubbing wives and families. No one asks if they like working, they're EXPECTED to work.

Are you also forced to have a baby come out of your vagina if your wife wants a family?

Most people aren't raised like the Duggars.

There is birth control.

Women who have more kids than they can handle have made poor choices in their lives. However, I don't think they are in the majority.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like working, and I feel like I'm adding value to my family on several levels. I've done both (SAH and work) and to tell you the truth, I think I'd be ashamed to stay home at this point. It's certainly a luxury for your family, but at what cost to you, as an individual? It's not the life I want for ME. Each person has to figure out what makes them tick, and I have many many friends who happily stay home and contribute in that way and are pleased to do so.

I completely agree with this. I also agree with the poster who said that there is no point in raising kids whose entire purpose is raising kids whose entire purpose is raising kids. Our lives as individuals end when we have children? No thanks.

You are expressing a very narrow view of a SAHP.

Because I don't believe a woman's life and individuality are over when she has a kid? Ok.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like working, and I feel like I'm adding value to my family on several levels. I've done both (SAH and work) and to tell you the truth, I think I'd be ashamed to stay home at this point. It's certainly a luxury for your family, but at what cost to you, as an individual? It's not the life I want for ME. Each person has to figure out what makes them tick, and I have many many friends who happily stay home and contribute in that way and are pleased to do so.

I completely agree with this. I also agree with the poster who said that there is no point in raising kids whose entire purpose is raising kids whose entire purpose is raising kids. Our lives as individuals end when we have children? No thanks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like working, and I feel like I'm adding value to my family on several levels. I've done both (SAH and work) and to tell you the truth, I think I'd be ashamed to stay home at this point. It's certainly a luxury for your family, but at what cost to you, as an individual? It's not the life I want for ME. Each person has to figure out what makes them tick, and I have many many friends who happily stay home and contribute in that way and are pleased to do so.

I completely agree with this. I also agree with the poster who said that there is no point in raising kids whose entire purpose is raising kids whose entire purpose is raising kids. Our lives as individuals end when we have children? No thanks.

You are expressing a very narrow view of a SAHP.

Because I don't believe a woman's life and individuality are over when she has a kid? Ok.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like working, and I feel like I'm adding value to my family on several levels. I've done both (SAH and work) and to tell you the truth, I think I'd be ashamed to stay home at this point. It's certainly a luxury for your family, but at what cost to you, as an individual? It's not the life I want for ME. Each person has to figure out what makes them tick, and I have many many friends who happily stay home and contribute in that way and are pleased to do so.

I completely agree with this. I also agree with the poster who said that there is no point in raising kids whose entire purpose is raising kids whose entire purpose is raising kids. Our lives as individuals end when we have children? No thanks.

You are expressing a very narrow view of a SAHP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And why wouldn't a woman enjoy working/ I really don't understand the premise of this question. No one ever asks men if they actually like working because it's something they DO. This kind of attitude makes it difficult for women to be taken seriously in the workplace. Seriously, like it's a hobby.

Are you new here? This place is full of threads and posts by women who whine to the heavens about how they can't stay at home and have to work.

The reason why men aren't asked this question is because NOBODY CARES. They are expected to work and provide for their money grubbing wives and families. No one asks if they like working, they're EXPECTED to work.

Are you also forced to have a baby come out of your vagina if your wife wants a family?