Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 22:19     Subject: Re:Do you spank your kids?
Anonymous wrote:DH and I were spanked as kids. It's something we hope to avoid getting into with our kids. DS was an easy child, so it was a little easier. DD tests us a lot more, but we are consistent with discipline. I try to use positive discpline/Responsive Classroom strategies that I use with my students with dd. I think spanking is the easy way out, consistent discipline requires the adults to be disciplined and uphold routines.


+1
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 22:19     Subject: Do you spank your kids?
Spanking (or not) correlates with SES. It is like smoking.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 22:15     Subject: Do you spank your kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Like any consequence, the kids KNOW why they are being spanked, and we discuss the issue before and after the correction. Hugs, kisses, and reflection on how we can do better next time. "

Weird and creepy and pervy.


Np. This is what we do, too. Why do you think it's weird?


NP. I think it's weird too. It sounds cold and calculated. And you're teaching your kid that abuse is OK as long as the hitter gives you a hug and kiss later. Classic adult abuse situation, there.

Of course it's calculated. Kids should know what the consequence is for misbehavior.

And how is a swat on the rear abuse?
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 21:47     Subject: Do you spank your kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have as a last resort when my kids were 5+. Open hand, never with an object.


There are parents who, once the kids are beyond 5, use a paddle or belt because it becomes the object that is applying the spanking not the parent's hand. They follow "biblical" discipline methods (i.e., don't spare the rod). It seems to for them.


Isn't this the same methodology that resulted in the death of a child not that long ago?


Make that multiple deaths. The book is To Train Up a Child by a evangelist, Michael Pearl.


Pearl doesn't advocate waiting until the child is 5. He writes that parents should spank infants with switches and rubber hoses, so they learn to fear their parents.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 21:45     Subject: Re:Do you spank your kids?
Nope. The parents that spank are the ones who are too lazy to learn 'just as effective' discipline techniques. It's simply easier to hit because 'that's how I was raised and I turned out ok'. I will never understand how you can teach a child not to hit, but then hit this same child.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 21:36     Subject: Do you spank your kids?
I had the shit beaten out of me as a kid, and my boyfriend was spanked. I have four kids and have not spanked any of them. At first I didn't spank because I couldn't trust myself to stop at spanking and not kill them. Then I didn't spank them because I realized it wasn't needed.

I have smacked hands trying to sneak food. I have made the kids hit the back of their own hands. But I don't hit.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 21:20     Subject: Do you spank your kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Like any consequence, the kids KNOW why they are being spanked, and we discuss the issue before and after the correction. Hugs, kisses, and reflection on how we can do better next time. "

Weird and creepy and pervy.


Np. This is what we do, too. Why do you think it's weird?


NP. I think it's weird too. It sounds cold and calculated. And you're teaching your kid that abuse is OK as long as the hitter gives you a hug and kiss later. Classic adult abuse situation, there.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 21:05     Subject: Re:Do you spank your kids?
DH and I were spanked as kids. It's something we hope to avoid getting into with our kids. DS was an easy child, so it was a little easier. DD tests us a lot more, but we are consistent with discipline. I try to use positive discpline/Responsive Classroom strategies that I use with my students with dd. I think spanking is the easy way out, consistent discipline requires the adults to be disciplined and uphold routines.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 20:51     Subject: Re:Do you spank your kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, and I feel no guilt. He is very high-strung, and we tried about 10+ other techniques that didn't work first before doing so. It works and is the only thing that works - judge lest ye be judged and such.


Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

The Golden Rule applies to children, too.


So we can never take away their toys?


You can give back a toy when the punishment is over.

You can never take back violence against your child.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 20:50     Subject: Do you spank your kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have as a last resort when my kids were 5+. Open hand, never with an object.


There are parents who, once the kids are beyond 5, use a paddle or belt because it becomes the object that is applying the spanking not the parent's hand. They follow "biblical" discipline methods (i.e., don't spare the rod). It seems to for them.


Isn't this the same methodology that resulted in the death of a child not that long ago?


Make that multiple deaths. The book is To Train Up a Child by a evangelist, Michael Pearl.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 20:46     Subject: Do you spank your kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have as a last resort when my kids were 5+. Open hand, never with an object.


There are parents who, once the kids are beyond 5, use a paddle or belt because it becomes the object that is applying the spanking not the parent's hand. They follow "biblical" discipline methods (i.e., don't spare the rod). It seems to for them.


Isn't this the same methodology that resulted in the death of a child not that long ago?
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 20:44     Subject: Do you spank your kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, different punishments work on different children. Do what works for your child. There is no research that states that, in and of itself, a handful of spankings with an open hand in childhood negatively impacts a child.

A lot of adults have been spanked as kids with no lasting negative impact, and they manage to still have close, loving relationships with their parents. Some obviously have issues, but I suspect there may have been more things going on there to cause some emotional/mental issues down the line than simply a handful of spankings as a child.


There IS actually research that shows that spanking, with an open hand or otherwise, DOES, in fact, negatively impact the child. But, my assumption is that those of you that stank your kids are not making an informed, evidence-based decision based on what is best for your child.


There is no conclusive research that states a few spankings in a child's life effects the child negatively. There really isn't. A lot of the research glosses over this part, though. It's usually a self serving research.

Anecdotally, there are/were thousands if not millions of adults that were spanked as kids that turned out ok.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 20:44     Subject: Do you spank your kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, different punishments work on different children. Do what works for your child. There is no research that states that, in and of itself, a handful of spankings with an open hand in childhood negatively impacts a child.

A lot of adults have been spanked as kids with no lasting negative impact, and they manage to still have close, loving relationships with their parents. Some obviously have issues, but I suspect there may have been more things going on there to cause some emotional/mental issues down the line than simply a handful of spankings as a child.


There IS actually research that shows that spanking, with an open hand or otherwise, DOES, in fact, negatively impact the child. But, my assumption is that those of you that stank your kids are not making an informed, evidence-based decision based on what is best for your child.


Not research that controls for the type, frequency, severity of spanking, or controls for SES, or controls for the type of children predisposed to behavior more likely to earn soakings, etc.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 20:38     Subject: Do you spank your kids?
Anonymous wrote:OP, different punishments work on different children. Do what works for your child. There is no research that states that, in and of itself, a handful of spankings with an open hand in childhood negatively impacts a child.

A lot of adults have been spanked as kids with no lasting negative impact, and they manage to still have close, loving relationships with their parents. Some obviously have issues, but I suspect there may have been more things going on there to cause some emotional/mental issues down the line than simply a handful of spankings as a child.


There IS actually research that shows that spanking, with an open hand or otherwise, DOES, in fact, negatively impact the child. But, my assumption is that those of you that stank your kids are not making an informed, evidence-based decision based on what is best for your child.
Anonymous
Post 10/12/2015 20:33     Subject: Do you spank your kids?
Anonymous wrote:We're from Texas, and believe that the "Board of Education" can impart valuable lessons on the backside of a misbehaving child.


Yeah, and they beat black kids way more than whites. Just awesome, that power of corporal punishment.