I don't think most of the fights between men and women is about accent pillows. It is about child rearing. Men often believe that childern should also be fine with beer and pizza. Women think they need healthy food, exercise, and schooling. This difference causes great marital stress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these women are missing the point. Many men -- I won't say all -- but many of us aren't bothered *as quickly* as you are by the dishes piling up, laundry not being done, or much more menial things like some dust on the floor or a lightbulb that goes out. In my experience women stress more about these things and cannot relax and be "fun sexy girl" that we fell in love with until every painting in the house is hung correctly etc. etc. Men can't stand that. It isn't what you sell us in the beginning of the relationship, but as soon as we move in together we're expected to be Bob Villa to your Martha Stewart.

Someone gets it. The correct phrase is men get sold a bill of goods.

Well here's a crazy concept for you. A woman who just likes to hang out and drink beer and have sex and not take anything seriously isn't actually a real person. It's a construct. So if you are dating someone like that than you are either a) willfully ignoring the fact that she has a deeper personality or b) being taken for a ride. Open your eyes, decide which one it is and decide whether to keep dating.

Anonymous wrote:I suspect you are a woman. If not, you should talk to more men. There are lots of men who will tell you how, prior to marriage, their wives were mainly interesting in relaxing, grabbing dinner, cooking casually together and having lots of sex. Once they move in together the women suddenly feel so stressed about buying the right furniture, arranging it, making sure the baseboards are wiped down, laundry folded, etc. etc. They go from no frills fun into Martha Stewart ironwomen.

Like I said, you must not have been paying attention because I'm sure those women cared about those things in their own space. When I wasn't living with my DH I did not care how he kept his space. When he decided to cohabitate with me, he decided he was ok raising his standards quite a bit. I truly don't know any woman who changed overnight. Either they were always neat freaks who cared about their home design or they never were and still don't. If guys are blinded by sex and cooking and don't pay attention to the actual personality and feelings about hte person they're dating thats not her fault. I guarantee she was spending that time evaluating your interests.

Anonymous wrote:All these women are missing the point. Many men -- I won't say all -- but many of us aren't bothered *as quickly* as you are by the dishes piling up, laundry not being done, or much more menial things like some dust on the floor or a lightbulb that goes out. In my experience women stress more about these things and cannot relax and be "fun sexy girl" that we fell in love with until every painting in the house is hung correctly etc. etc. Men can't stand that. It isn't what you sell us in the beginning of the relationship, but as soon as we move in together we're expected to be Bob Villa to your Martha Stewart.

Someone gets it. The correct phrase is men get sold a bill of goods.

Anonymous wrote:I would have put my annoying DH out by now if not for the time and expense of divorce.

You're going to get what you deserve.

I suspect you are a woman. If not, you should talk to more men. There are lots of men who will tell you how, prior to marriage, their wives were mainly interesting in relaxing, grabbing dinner, cooking casually together and having lots of sex. Once they move in together the women suddenly feel so stressed about buying the right furniture, arranging it, making sure the baseboards are wiped down, laundry folded, etc. etc. They go from no frills fun into Martha Stewart ironwomen.