Anonymous wrote:Husband wants to visit a female friend, with whom he grew up with as friends, in another state. Im not ok with this. I told him this. I met the female twice and both times, she was very cold to me and although not rude to me (she didnt say a word to me to even be rude), she was rude to others. I dont want to go with him to visit her and her husband and child. He still wants to go. Im upset. I expressed this. He doesnt understand why im upset as they grew up together. Big deal... Its still a female friend you are visiting in another state. Am i overreacting?

LOL wow, OP is a total nutjob

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call me old-fashioned, but I'm in the school of thought that after marraige you don't have close relationships with those of the opposite sex who aren't your spouse. You can be friends, but in the company of your spouses, co-workers, etc. Not trips alone, or even car rides alone for that matter, unless it's an extenuating circumstance. I know I'm the minority in that thinking. There's always a 1% chance that 'nothing sexual' can turn into an attraction, especially if one person is in a fight with their spouse.

Yup, you are old school.
Some people are simply very good at keeping friendships that go back to childhood. Social media has contributed to keeping in contact. I have re-connected with several people from childhood that are married and have met up with them at Starbucks or something to that effect multiple times through the years. It can be done, it is just a matter of respect of how many times one makes contact. Meaning, don't call/text every day or every week for that matter.

+1. Not riding in a CAR with a male sounds peculiarly dated and sexist. I find it ridiculous that you think humans cannot control themselves in most situations.

But on the other hand, PP might have a realistic view of her own inability to resist temptation. Even if I did develop an attraction to a friend of the opposite sex (hasn't happened), I have the self control to not act on it. Because, you know, marriage vows. I can't imagine breaking off all ties with any male friends and coworkers because I might not be able to control myself around them. Yikes!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call me old-fashioned, but I'm in the school of thought that after marraige you don't have close relationships with those of the opposite sex who aren't your spouse. You can be friends, but in the company of your spouses, co-workers, etc. Not trips alone, or even car rides alone for that matter, unless it's an extenuating circumstance. I know I'm the minority in that thinking. There's always a 1% chance that 'nothing sexual' can turn into an attraction, especially if one person is in a fight with their spouse.

I am exactly the same way!! I can only imagine the one time i would be out to lunch or something with a male friend, i would run into my husbands friends and it would be all the gossip. His friends are childish but i will never put myself in the situation. I actually do have male friends but it is never just me and one of them alone. My husband is friends with all my male friends.

Your DH's friends are the problem. And is your marriage in such trouble that being seen with a man would be a problem?

DH and I don't need babysitters. If I have a male friend in from out of town for work or something we'll just meet up for dinner if DH is busy or we don't have someone to watch the kids. I have lunch with friends from college or whatever ALL THE TIME.

DH is friends with my friends, too, and has had dinner with my (female) friends while traveling. I can't imagine having to constantly deal with the stress of someone thinking I might cheat on him, or worrying that DH is cheating on me when he has dinner with my friends. That sounds exhausting.

Anonymous wrote:Call me old-fashioned, but I'm in the school of thought that after marraige you don't have close relationships with those of the opposite sex who aren't your spouse. You can be friends, but in the company of your spouses, co-workers, etc. Not trips alone, or even car rides alone for that matter, unless it's an extenuating circumstance. I know I'm the minority in that thinking. There's always a 1% chance that 'nothing sexual' can turn into an attraction, especially if one person is in a fight with their spouse.

I am exactly the same way!! I can only imagine the one time i would be out to lunch or something with a male friend, i would run into my husbands friends and it would be all the gossip. His friends are childish but i will never put myself in the situation. I actually do have male friends but it is never just me and one of them alone. My husband is friends with all my male friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're being ridiculous. He likely regrets not meeting up with her when he was close by. Hence the trip now.

Poor guy, this is a lose lose situation for him. Although given your posts, he's likely used to it.

OP here. How does he regret it? He had the opportunity was lazy then not wanting to drive. So a month later he goes back for her?

Ok...this is the first page of six or seven and I have to say that if I were married to you...I might need a trip...to anywhere...for a break.