Anonymous wrote:OP: husband probably feels trapped and like he can't trust you. Solution? Give him an out. Tell him you were irresponsible for not taking BC. Your actions were meant to be deceitful even though they were. If he really hates life then tell him he can divorce you and you won't pursue child support and won't go after his money (if any) as a show that you really did not mean to make him feel trapped. It's totally a bluff move, but it's extreme enough where he at least can actually make a decision about going forward. Pretty sure he will chose to be with you and raise child, but now it's more a decision he's made vs being forced into it.

Anonymous wrote:

He's right. You were irresponsible. How could you not fill your prescription for 3 weeks?! Did you not use other birth control during the time.

What you did was very deceitful. No wonder your husband is resentful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: husband probably feels trapped and like he can't trust you. Solution? Give him an out. Tell him you were irresponsible for not taking BC. Your actions were meant to be deceitful even though they were. If he really hates life then tell him he can divorce you and you won't pursue child support and won't go after his money (if any) as a show that you really did not mean to make him feel trapped. It's totally a bluff move, but it's extreme enough where he at least can actually make a decision about going forward. Pretty sure he will chose to be with you and raise child, but now it's more a decision he's made vs being forced into it.

You don't make a bluff move about something this important. OP and her DH need marriage counseling, period.

Anonymous wrote:He had time to rid himself of your mistake early on but chose not to. So now he can smile and get with the daddy thing or get divorced.

Actions have consequences and you BOTH should deal with that. The baby is here. It's not the baby's fault. Grow the fuck up.

Anonymous wrote:Your poor son. He is the one I feel bad for.

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I had agreed to not have children. We had been married for a few years when I got pregnant. I was regularly taking birth control and didn't refill my prescription on time. I was off BC for about 3 weeks and during that time I got pregnant. When I told my husband- he took it all in stride (or so I thought), and was the supportive, caring man I always knew him to be. Even after the baby came, he has continued to be an attentive, hands on dad. I know he loves our son very much. I thought we had just adapted to this new change in our lives, and surprisingly- I am enjoying being a parent a lot more than I thought I would. He seems to enjoy it too but misses the freedom we had.

He recently told me he is really angry and resentful about this lifestyle change. He feels like he was never part of the decision. At the point we found out- I asked him for his opinion on keeping the baby or not- and he told me the decision was all mine. He says he is angry that I was irresponsible.

We have been having some challenges in our marriage and this explains a lot of why. I told him I hear him- and understand. I just don't know how you fix this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: husband probably feels trapped and like he can't trust you. Solution? Give him an out. Tell him you were irresponsible for not taking BC. Your actions were meant to be deceitful even though they were. If he really hates life then tell him he can divorce you and you won't pursue child support and won't go after his money (if any) as a show that you really did not mean to make him feel trapped. It's totally a bluff move, but it's extreme enough where he at least can actually make a decision about going forward. Pretty sure he will chose to be with you and raise child, but now it's more a decision he's made vs being forced into it.

What if says, OK.?

Anonymous wrote:OP: husband probably feels trapped and like he can't trust you. Solution? Give him an out. Tell him you were irresponsible for not taking BC. Your actions were meant to be deceitful even though they were. If he really hates life then tell him he can divorce you and you won't pursue child support and won't go after his money (if any) as a show that you really did not mean to make him feel trapped. It's totally a bluff move, but it's extreme enough where he at least can actually make a decision about going forward. Pretty sure he will chose to be with you and raise child, but now it's more a decision he's made vs being forced into it.

Anonymous wrote:OP: husband probably feels trapped and like he can't trust you. Solution? Give him an out. Tell him you were irresponsible for not taking BC. Your actions were meant to be deceitful even though they were. If he really hates life then tell him he can divorce you and you won't pursue child support and won't go after his money (if any) as a show that you really did not mean to make him feel trapped. It's totally a bluff move, but it's extreme enough where he at least can actually make a decision about going forward. Pretty sure he will chose to be with you and raise child, but now it's more a decision he's made vs being forced into it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you told your DH you were off the pill then it was on him and you to use alternate BC. He could have used condoms. So how is this your fault?

Now, if you didn't tell him that's another story.

Nope- I did not tell him. Honestly- I have a lot of friends who had been trying to have children. I just thought there is a very slim chance of me getting pregnant at the first try after being on BC for the last 15 years of my life. Stupid- but true.

Then you should get some professional help. You were purposefully deceitful, manipulative, and naive. He's entitled to be upset. I would get some professional help immediately. That and you should apologize.